Schmerg, you need to crash my senior prom. Stockard can come, but if the fruit punch somehow gets spiked... Stockard might end up being a little TOO much fun. That homecoming sounds hilarious and it almost makes me want to go to more school dances (I usually only go to 1 a year. NONE of my friends ever go to them and I always end up being the loner at the fruit punch stand). I'm pretty sure my school security guard would chop off heads if me and my friends did that, and when I read your story I imagined the look he would have on his face. It would look like the top left picture on your avatar (which is my personal favorite *wink wink nudge nudge*).
Stockard,
Thanks! You're right, I always think of how I shouldn't hurry, but I never think of how I shouldn't put it off for no reason. There's no reason for me to hide so much of myself from everyone, but I still have to be careful with who knows what and when I tell them. I feel confident that I will do the right thing, though. I used to hide SO many things about me from my friends because I was worried that they'd think it was 'too gay', but now I've learned that that is not the right way to live my life. My friends have to love me for who I am, and if they don't.... they aren't my friends. I don't think I'll be fully 'out' by the end of the school year, but I want to be the REAL me by the end of the year. Instead of being high school-ized Jazzy, I want to be the real Jazzy. The real Jazzy drinks tea every morning, listens to showtunes, plays the violin, watches 'Real Housewives' shows, spends excessive hours at America Eagle (That's actually a new obsession. Literally, I just started obsessively shopping there this month), reads gossip columns, watches CNN, and screams Broadway songs in the shower. I try SO hard to hide that because I don't wanna be made fun of.. but I'm going to stop hiding that now. I NEED to be the REAL me in front of my friends, and I'm also going to have to learn to live with it when they drift apart from me for being 'too gay'. There's no way I can EVERY be 'out and proud' if I can't show my friends and family the real me first.
Schmerg (again),
That was really sweet, thank you. I try to be as eloquent as I can, and I never thought I was doing a good job. I just make so many darn typos! To be honest, I really never thought of myself as someone who knows himself well. On the contrary, I learn something new about me everyday. Sometimes it's by listening to music, by watching theatre, or even by reading BWW. I think it's mainly because I've always been a person who was worried to come to people for advice... DEEP advice, not "What will this party be like?" advice. I always found the answers by searching deep inside of myself. There's really no reason why I should be scared to come to others for advice. I trust my parents, I have some wise friends, and I have a great guidance councelar (sp?) at my school. It's probably because I'm insanely stubborn (as witnessed by my "I WILL QUIT THEATRE BECAUSE I WILL BE BEATEN OFF OF MY THRONE AND FORCED TO BE IN THE FILTHY, AWFUL CHORUS EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THE CHORUS AND I SHOULDN'T JUDGE... AND AUDTIOIONS HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET!" meltdown a few pages back on this thread).
Now I feel kind of guilty because I have taken up two posts to talk about myself and my problems, so to make this post seem a little less self indulgent ... I will end it with a gorgeous human being by the name of "James Marsden" singing "The Nicest Kids and Town". (I'm sorry... watching him sing and dance only makes him look MORE 'talented')
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLvs97b5k8E
"There's nothing good on. The media hates Christmas. The media loves vampires, though. Maybe they will show a Twilight Christmas."
-Danmeg's 10 year old son.
