Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

#1

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:05am

Early reviews seem to suggest this may be the case

Other than the Pirate movies Depp appears in one flop after another

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Poster Emeritus

Updated On: 7/5/13 at 10:05 AM

#2

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:09am

I think Tonto is the star of this one.

#3

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:10am

Nope. The point man on this is Depp

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Poster Emeritus

#4

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:12am

Depp is Tonto, baby.

#5

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:14am

It's not tracking at John Carter levels, but it won't be a huge success either.

Depp is a big draw internationally so it should make up some of its losses there.

All in all I've read that Disney is looking at a $100 million write off.

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....but the world goes 'round

#6

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:32am

Johnny Depp used to just be the coolest guy in the world. Now I really wish he would just go away.

#7

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 10:52am

I am on record as believing that Mr. Depp is the finest actor of his generation, and I still believe that (suck on it, Philip Seymour Hoffman!) but it has been a few years since he was in a movie that I wanted to sit through.

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"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers." Thomas Pynchon, GRAVITY'S RAINBOW "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." Philip K. Dick My blog: http://www.roscoewrites.blogspot.com/

#8

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 11:14am

I'm more of a Matt Damon fan myself, Roscoe, but Depp is up there. I'm not sure why he has been making such terrible choices lately, though, I figured after his nomination for SWEENEY TODD he'd be involved in some interesting films, but sadly he's only made paycheck movies and the worst of them too. I mean, THE TOURIST? DARK SHADOWS? THE LONE RANGER? Ugh.

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"Some people can thrive and bloom living life in a living room, that's perfect for some people of one hundred and five. But I at least gotta try, when I think of all the sights that I gotta see, all the places I gotta play, all the things that I gotta be at"

#9

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 11:21am

Dark Shadows will be reevaluated and appreciated in the future.

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Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#10

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 11:23am

The running time on this clocks in at nearly 3 hours, this does not need to be that long.

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Well I didn't want to get into it, but he's a Satanist. Every full moon he sacrifices 4 puppies to the Dark Lord and smears their blood on his paino. This should help you understand the score for Wicked a little bit more. Tazber's: Reply to Is Stephen Schwartz a Practicing Christian

#11

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 11:25am

It's 149 minutes long and Rotten Tomatoes has it at 21%. Even with my MoviePass, I'll take a "Pass" on this one.

#12

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 11:27am

3 hours???

"Gone With the Mask?"

"Lone of Arabia?"

That's crazy. I'm guessing (and feel free to tell me) that even though this movie starts Depp as "the sidekick" telling us the story of the Lone Ranger, that it's still really the Lone Ranger's story.

It should have been Tonto's story, which includes how he came to be with the Lone Ranger ... but it should have stayed Tonto's story, from his POV the whole way. (They could start by changing the title to "Tonto.")

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"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."

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blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22

Updated On: 7/2/13 at 11:27 AM

#13

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 11:31am

... or changing Tonto's name altogether since it's Spanish for idiot.

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Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia

#14

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 12:31pm

When discussing actors in his general age, I think Robert Downey, Jr is the best of the bunch.

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"It does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are 20 gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg." -- Thomas Jefferson

#15

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/2/13 at 12:38pm

I agree with you 525,600%, madbrian.

#16

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:13pm

I loved Dark Shadows, except maybe the last 15 or so minutes where I thought it fell apart.

This movie gonna tank something fierce. 26% at Rotten Tomatoes.

#17

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:18pm

Why 525,600% why not an even 600,000?

#18

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:20pm

Ranger of Love

#19

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:25pm

Ranger of Lone

#20

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:30pm

525,600 Tonto's
525,000 Tonto's to ride
525,600 Tonto's
How do you measure the life of a pony or a horse?

In grass that he ate
Or in times that he crapped
In bridges he crossed
Or the glue that he made

#21

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:30pm

Ranger of Lone be needing some lube.

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....but the world goes 'round

#22

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:33pm

@ Jordan: makes sense

@ tazzy: LMAO!!!

#23

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:34pm

The Lone Ranger, like the desert he lives in, likes it dry.

#24

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/3/13 at 2:44pm

Ouch!

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....but the world goes 'round

#25

Is The Lone Ranger Another John Carter?

Posted: 7/5/13 at 2:52pm

I think word of mouth is going to be better than everyone thinks. Once everyone's exhausted Despicable Me 2, LR grosses could pick up.