Posted: 6/16/16 at 5:37pm
I've been weary to comment on this tread because my heart has been broken since around 3am on Sunday morning when I started to get texts from friends in the club at the time of the shooting. All of my friends made it out safe. Acquaintances, a bartender I used to share laughs with, and many other did not. I have so many friends in deep deep mourning right now as they try to process the unbelievable gravity of not having coworkers they used to love working with beside them anymore or friends they used to attend Pulse with who never made it out. There is an unbearable grief in the Orlando community right now.
It is so very different when it is "your club." Not that Sandy Hook, or the shooting at the movie theatre, or the massacre in Charleston, or the many other shoots were not crushing to me at the time. But it is so very different when you are seeing people you know on television being carried out of the club on CNN covered in blood. It is so very different calling your friends at 3am, having them not answer, and crying for hours hoping you will see your phone light up with a message telling you they are safe. It is so very different when it happens in a place where you personally grew to understand and accept yourself as queer. It is so very different when you are hearing about performers who used to pour shots in your mouth climbing out of AC vents to safety. It is so very different when you realize you will never be able to see one of the performers you used to throw money at perform ever again. It is so very different when it is your city, your bar, you people... I've had to delete social media accounts because I just can't look at all the hate and ignorance going around about this. This was my community. And it personally hurts so badly.
I moved out of Orlando in late 2015 to move to New York City. I am going back down there at the start of next week to help with a benefit show with the artistic and performance community there. All of your love and well wishes will be taken with me.
<3
Updated On: 6/16/16 at 05:37 PM
