Missouri man arrested at hospital for refusing to leave gay partner- Page 2

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 5:36pm

They live in Missouri and have been registered domestic partners for five years. Why would they be registered elsewhere?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:06pm

Here's some more information, by a daughter of one of the men.
Arrested at Hospital

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:29pm

That link doesn't work

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:32pm

Best comment on JoeMyGod:

Seriously, when Shirley Maclaine went ape**** on hospital staff she got an Oscar and applause in the theatre. When we do it in real life, we get arrested.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:32pm

I think the site might have crashed.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:37pm

Federal Officials Aim For “Speedy” Response Following Missouri Hospital Arrest

[bethnor]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:45pm

from what info is available, missouri does not recognize civil unions. in that instance, it seems unfortunately that the family is next in line for power of attorney if there is no spouse.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:51pm

They don't have a civil union, they have a domestic partnership, which the hospital recognizes and has policies in place for. The domestic partnership in Kansas City gives him PoA for medical decisions.

Updated On: 4/11/13 at 07:51 PM

[ArtMan]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:54pm

Obtaining a power of attorney has nothing to do if you are married/civil union. Your best friend can receive power of attorney before your family if the papers are drawn up correctly. Marriage or blood relatives plays no factors if that is what the parties involved have agreed to.
If they filed power of attorney papers based solely on their partnership, then that is another matter. Updated On: 4/11/13 at 07:54 PM

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 7:58pm

True. I was misreading, but PoA is one of the items couples can use as proof of the relationship in order to obtain the domestic partnership. The husband says they are legally registered and he has a legal power of attorney. There would be no basis for his role in his husband's life to be ignored, as Missouri and KC specifically recognizes domestic partnerships. The family shouldn't have any legal standing to ask him to leave.

[ArtMan]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 8:01pm

If the couple are stating one has power of attorney because they are spouses, then that was their mistake. A separate POA should be made, just for this reason. A lawyer is not needed, just a notary and credible witnesses.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 8:17pm

Interview with the daughter

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 8:19pm

>> They live in Missouri and have been registered domestic partners for five years.

I didnt see that, thanks.

But even if they do have POAs, the fact that he *might* have been obstructing the hospital's care procedures (even through protecting his husband) is sufficient to call in security. The patient has to come before everyone else.

I'm not saying this is what happened, but it's just as plausible as anything else.

And sorry, but life is not a Shirley Maclaine movie. As well intended as it might have been, it was clearly written by someone who's never been in, let alone worked for, a hospital. Yes, there are some out there that are complete dumps, but I dont think we can make that a broad generalization — just as it's difficult to say anything about this without at least some additional information.

[ArtMan]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 8:25pm

As well as disruption to the other patients.

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 9:19pm

Okay, cant verify this yet, but it seems that three members of the patient's family was there, two brothers and one sister. One of the brothers and the sister didnt want the husband to leave. The other brother, unfortunately, made such a deal out of it that things escalated out of control. I dont know if the second brother was arrested as well. And the hospital is saying there is no restraining order, which doesnt surprise me: I should think it would take more than a few hours to get one of those.

[~tiny~]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 10:04pm

"W O N G"?????

"This is just WONG, on so many levels."

Updated On: 4/11/13 at 10:04 PM

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/11/13 at 10:22pm

Yeah, that's what man's daughter has said, that the brother of the other man didn't want him there. She also said (in the letter on the site that's down) that the man in the hospital specifically did NOT want his family involved in his medical care.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 9:01am

Phyllis that link you posted is working now. And it was a heartbreaking read.
This man specifically did not want his family involved in his medical care and they got him hospitilized against his will. Pretty awful stuff.

[blueroses]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 9:04am

Sounds like that a-hole brother was the disruptive one. He should have been the one asked to leave.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 10:52am

There's a federal investigation now.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/federal-officials-aim-for-speedy-response-to-missouri-hospit

[billis2]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 11:12am

A complicated story in which I don't think we have the whole story. I also don't think that the husband is blame-free.

If the police show up and order you to leave, and you refuse, guess what? They are going to force you to leave, even if it means physically throwing you out. I've learned the hard way to do whatever the police tell you to do. If you don't, then you are defying the police and that will get you nowhere.

And if the guy is bleeding, of course they are going to use gloves. That's not homophobic. No one on the police side said anything about them being gay or about AIDS. That's all in the head of the daughter.

And it's silly to think that the nurse is supposed to remember their relationship because she's taken care of the patient before. If it was a year ago, she's had hundreds, maybe thousands of patients since then. And apparently, they didn't think she was homophobic before.

Just because you have POA and are someone's partner, that doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want in the hospital. People get thrown out of hospital rooms ALL THE TIME. ALL. THE. TIME. If the staff is doing a procedure and they don't want you in there, you get thrown out. If the staff feels you are making the pt's condition worse, even if the pt doesn't agree, you get thrown out. It sounds like there were at least 5 people in the room besides the patient and the nurse, and with a psychiatric admission, maybe the nurse felt that it was too many people, and the brother was there first, so the nurse asked the husband to wait outside for a few minutes until the brother was finished, and the husband refused. Then it all went haywire. That's all speculation, but I have a feeling the husband isn't entirely blameless here.



Updated On: 4/12/13 at 11:12 AM

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 11:17am

If they were legally recognized as spouses it sounds like he probably wouldn't have been in the hospital to begin with.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 12:28pm

That's all speculation, but I have a feeling the husband isn't entirely blameless here.

Curious post, billis. You criticize the husband yet you fail to mention the behavior of the brother.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 12:39pm

Did billis even read the thread or any of the links?


He sounds like he works for the hospital.

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 1:16pm

Hold off, guys. He's making a good point here: if you get in the way of the hospital doing its job, they will throw you out of the room. And what it's all starting to sound like is a bigot making a scene, the husband kicking into defensive mode for his spouse, and things spiraling way out of control on all sides. We gotta remember: this man was not the only patient there. If this is like any hospital I've seen, the place is chaotic enough without a family dispute erupting over care. It's sounding more and more like everyone was way over-reacting (which is understandable under the circumstances), and the hospital was caught in the middle. And unfortunately, the one yelling the loudest got hauled off by the cops.

It appears that the whole thing was just sad all around, with everyone involved making mistakes... stupid ones at that.