Missouri man arrested at hospital for refusing to leave gay partner- Page 3

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 3:01pm

Unless it was orchestrated by the brother.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 3:33pm

From what I have read, the argument between the brother (who had NO right to ask the husband to leave) and the husband escalated, causing distress for the patient and interfering with his care. EVERYone was asked to leave the room, brother and husband included. The husband refused, yelling that he had the legal right to be there. It wouldn't matter if they were a legally married man and woman, if the spouse was interfering with care, he or she would be asked to leave. I have dealt with violent teens who have had parents who had to be physically removed from their hospital room. My job is to protect the kids I work with, from themselves and situations around them that will escalate the problem. Sometimes removal of every family member, including next of kin, is just in the patient's best interest. A nurse or doctor working in a psychiatric unit (which I do believe is the unit the patient is currently in) would HAVE to always put patient care first.

More than likely, had he left the room, calmed down and explained the situation in a rational manner and had the medical staff felt the patient could have handled the visit, he probably could have returned. I just don't think this is absolutely the gay discrimination case it's being made out to be. I think it's an unfortunate situation, as similar cases always are, but I am not convinced anything sinister happened beyond an asshole brother's behavior. Obviously, I am coming at it from a different perspective, but I just have a feeling about it.

Updated On: 4/12/13 at 03:33 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 3:56pm

A hospital employee says the hospital doesn't discriminate against "fags."






“It makes news because of the f*gs,” says HCA employee of bias charge

Updated On: 4/12/13 at 03:56 PM

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:08pm

She's a class act. Considering the fact that she specifically mentioned currently working there and she's in an hourly position, this won't reflect well on her long term employment.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:12pm

Wow. That woman is a piece of work.

[Jungle Red]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:19pm

This is Missouri we're talking about, so why are you surprised she called them fags? I'm not.

The story sounded fishy from the beginning. I think its a case of "This would've happened regardless of sexual orientation". I can think of a few people I wouldn't want around me if I was on my deathbed. My boyfriend knows who they are too.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:26pm

http://www.weareatheism.com/arrested-at-hospital-just-for-wanting-to-hold-his-partners-hand/


The site with the daughter's account is back up.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:42pm

I don't understand why the police were waiting at the house for them.

So, it sounds like he's in for medical reasons and not psychiatric issues. The article I read yesterday said otherwise, so I stand corrected. If her story is accurate, then a lot of what's been reported is not. That's what I hate about the media being able to jump on a story so fast and it having 1000 outlets within seconds. It's hard to know what's to believe.

Living in a country where sh1t like this wouldn't happen makes me skeptical, I guess. Good to know that the good ole discrimination is alive and well, even in big cities.

Updated On: 4/12/13 at 04:42 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:46pm

I keep thinking the whole thing was orchestrated by the brother.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:48pm

Living in a country where sh1t like this wouldn't happen makes me skeptical

Ah, see I'm from Missouri, which is generally regarded as the Mississippi of the Midwest.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:56pm

I don't get that because from what I have heard, everything's up to date in Kansas City. I even heard they gone about as fer as they could go...

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 4:58pm

^^ And see, that's the problem right there.

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 5:00pm

Friends have told me that Kansas City is kind of an outlier in Missouri - it is more gay friendly than other parts of the state. Maybe because of its Jazz history.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 5:01pm

The hospital's story is falling apart.

http://americablog.com/2013/04/gay-hospital-visitation-arrested-handcuffed.html

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 5:01pm

http://americablog.com/2013/04/gay-hospital-visitation-arrested-handcuffed.html

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 8:29pm

"Friends have told me that Kansas City is kind of an outlier in Missouri - it is more gay friendly than other parts of the state. Maybe because of its Jazz history."

My experience, having lived there for almost three years for grad school, is that it is somewhat better than the rest of the state (as was St. Louis, again, in my experience), but it was still far from perfect, because you still had that attitude from the rest of the state being tossed into the mix.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 8:59pm

Okay, forgive me if this rambles. I’ve been working all day and I just came back to all of this information.

“Due to Allen’s state at that precise moment the police decided to take him to the hospital against his will stating he was a “danger to himself”.
This amazes me considering the cops here in LA won’t do a thing until you hurt someone, or yourself. We had a crazy woman stagger into the neighborhood and take up residence on the street. She spread out trash and took up the side walk. The police were called and they did nothing. Today, I say the woman walking down the middle of the street, dragging everything she owned behind her. Cars couldn’t get around her and all of the traffic was ****ed up because of it. These cops totally overstepped their bounds.

“I know who you two are. You need to leave.” My father took this as she had treated Allen before, knew who my father was to him, and was making the decision that they didn’t have the right to one another as husband and husband. So instead of checking the file to see his power of attorney in his medical chart (they each have one for each other) she immediately called the police and had my father forcibly removed.”
Again, why didn’t she just verify the information?

“A $600 fine for disorderly conduct and trespassing and has a restraining order against him from the hospital saying he is not allowed to step foot back on the hospital grounds even to see his husband.”
Uhm, it’s a hospital, and his husband was there. How is that trespassing? This is something they come up with when they have nothing else to charge a person with.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 9:01pm

Oh, and I'm not even going to touch the comment about 'fags' from the employee.

She's obviously brain dead.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 9:14pm

FINALLY! The NY Times and the AP are covering it.


Man Says Hospital Removed Him From Partner's Room

[billis2]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 10:02pm

JerseyGirl, I think that it was a psychiatric admission, because they said it was prompted because he was a danger to himself.

TheatreDiva, all just speculation, but when the nurse said, "I know who you are. You need to leave," I think she meant that it was irrelevant what their relationship was, that EVERYONE needed to leave. It was the guy and his daughter who turned that into a homophobic remark. It doesn't matter who has POA and who's married and who's a blood relative. If the staff says you need to leave, you need to leave. And if you don't, the police are going to come and arrest you and physically throw you out.

You don't have the right to stay in a hospital room, no matter what. For example, if they are doing a procedure and they think it's in the best interest of the patient for you to leave and the patient isn't completely competent (as it sounds may have been true in this case, since it was a psychiatric admission), you will be asked to leave. If you start screaming that you're going to stay because you have POA and physically hold on to the bed, you're disrupting the whole place, and they are going to call security.

When loved ones are sick, everyone is tense and they aren't always thinking rationally. I've worked in a hospital and seen the police called to throw out family members who are having screaming matches. It is not a pretty sight, for everyone involved.

And I think you're right that police don't casually bring someone to the hospital against their will for being a danger to himself. Maybe the police overreacted, or maybe the daughter didn't understand how bad the situation was. We don't know the whole story.

And maybe it's all the brother's fault. And maybe it's all homophobia. But we haven't heard enough to come to that conclusion. Based on what we currently know, it's not clear that the outcome would have been different if they were a heterosexual couple.

(And yes, I read the entire thread and all of the links. And I don't work for the hospital.)

[SNAFU]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 10:14pm

If it was a psychiatric admission, who made the call? THE COPS? Sorry that doesn't ring true. I had a brother who was mentally ill and ended up killing himself with self immolation on my parent's front lawn. Despite many calls to the police for the few days leading up to the event, they could not do anything! They were unable to make that call if he were not in the process of actually hurting himself. He also could not be detained in the hospital for any legnth of time due to my parent's requests. There are very, very strict laws about that.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 10:34pm

My experience, having lived there for almost three years for grad school, is that it is somewhat better than the rest of the state (as was St. Louis, again, in my experience), but it was still far from perfect, because you still had that attitude from the rest of the state being tossed into the mix.

Sounds like most states to me. I live in Chicago which does not resemble the rest of Illinois in the slightest.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 10:45pm

"We don't know the whole story"

No, but I see enough of it to know that the hospital screwed up, big time.

All the nurse had to do was check to see if the POA was on file. The whole comment about "I know who you are" reads to me as if she wanted to finish the sentence by saying "You're that gays guys 'friend'".

Yes, we don't know the whole story, but you sure seem willing to run to bat for the hospital, which, at this point, isn't looking good at all.

The hospital was wrong in how they dealt with it. And the staff members of the hospital aren't looking much better on their Facebook pages.

There was NO reason for the hospital to take the brothers side. NONE. The patient was over 18, had a POA and a husband who was right there, and had always been there. Every time the patient had gone to the same hospital for depression.

I've been in too many situations where the people in charge end up thinking 'Oh, it's just a couple of gays guys, so the rules don't matter'.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 11:33pm

But we haven't heard enough to come to that conclusion. Based on what we currently know, it's not clear that the outcome would have been different if they were a heterosexual couple.

Please stop saying that. It's untrue and irritating. We know more today than we knew yesterday and we'll know even more tomorrow. Continuing to portray it as a sphinx-like mystery never to be revealed only perpetuate the false impression that nothing was done wrong on the parts of the heterosexual siblings, the police or the hospital staff.

More likely i the possibility that the police acted inappropriately in the kidnapping of the patient, the brother and other siblings engaged in conspiracy, and the hospital broke federal, state and company-enforced regulations.

[mikem]

Posted: 4/12/13 at 11:46pm

Updated On: 4/12/13 at 11:46 PM