Moore, Michigan, new voters and underwear

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 4:40pm

This is a letter that Michael Moore wrote on his website about maybe being a wanted man in Michigan. The Republicans are getting desperate.



Republicans, Out of Ideas, Ask Prosecutors to Arrest Michael Moore


10/6/04

Dear Friends,

You may have heard by now that the Michigan Republican Party has called for my arrest. That's right. They literally want me brought up on charges -- and hope that I'm locked up.

No, I'm not kidding. The Republican Party, yesterday, filed a criminal complaint with the prosecutors in each of the counties where I spoke last week in Michigan.

My crime? Clean underwear for anyone who will vote in the upcoming election.

Each night on our 60-city "Slacker Uprising Tour" through the 20 battleground states, I've been registering hundreds (and on some nights, thousands) of voters at my arena and stadium events. I then ask for everyone over 23 who has never voted (or didn't vote in the last election) to stand up. I tell these slackers that I understand and respect why they think politicians are not worth the bother. I tell them that I may have been the original slacker, and that I do not want them to change their slacker ways. Keep sleeping 'til noon! Keep drinking beer! Stay on the sofa and watch as much TV as possible! But, please, just for me, on 11/2, I want you to leave the house and give voting a try -- just this once. The stakes this time are just too high.

If they promise me that they'll do this, I give the guys a 3-pack of new Fruit of the Loom underwear, and the women get a day's supply of Ramen noodles, the sustenance of slackers everywhere.

I then close by having them repeat the 2004 Slacker Oath: "Pick nose! Pick butt! Pick Kerry."

It seems to have worked, as each night the volunteer tables are swamped afterwards with hundreds of new and young voters signing up to campaign for regime change for the next four weeks.

The satire of all this seems to have been lost on the Republicans. Or maybe it hasn't. The state of Michigan (where we spent most of last week) reported that over 100,000 young people recently registered to vote, a record that no one saw coming. The Slacker Tour has turned into a huge steamroller with a momentum all its own.

So, the Republican Party, to show their gratitude that so many young people will now be involved in our system, has demanded that I be sent to jail for trying to "bribe" students to vote.

Of course, this would be quite laughable if they weren't so serious about their charges. But they are. I may soon be a wanted man in Michigan -- simply because I convinced a few slackers to change their underwear and eat a healthy meal of artificially flavored noodles.

I thought I'd seen it all this year -- Disney refusing to distribute the film they paid for, right-wingers harassing theater owners who showed "Fahrenheit 9/11," conservative action groups trying to get the FEC to kick our film ads off the air, the unnecessary restrictive R-rating that forced teenagers to sneak in to see it, and all the stupid, crazy attacks on me and my movie that I've had to listen to as I watched the public ignore them and pack the movie houses anyway, where my film was being shown. And when all that failed, five different Republican groups made five different attack dog tapes (oops, "documentaries"!) against me in a period of about six weeks. But they were all so bad, so boring, so right-wing, no one wanted to watch them and they too went away, a sad waste of good videotape.

Now, after enduring all this, with no tricks left in their bag, they've just decided, "Let's toss his sorry ass behind bars -- him and his noodles and his gift of clean underwear!"

My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!

Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir.

Yours,

Michael Moore
[e-mail]
www.michaelmoore.com

Posted: 10/6/04 at 4:45pm

How is Micheal Moore giving someone underwear to vote the way he tells them to different than the carpet baggers giving the freedmen forty acres and a mule?

By the way, Fruit of the Loom closed-down their factory in Kentucky and moved it to Mexico, putting 3,000 people out of work. This was during the first half of the Clinton Adminsitration.

Michael Moore is an enemy of America and DESERVES TO DIE

Posted: 10/6/04 at 4:51pm

I know, I know you people are just trying to give me a fockin coronary before I have a chance to vote.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 4:57pm

So Rodney - Does this mean you haven't bought your personal copy of Fahrenheit 9/11? I've already bought mine, would you like me to buy you one?I generally don't buy DVD's but figured I had to support this one.

Posted: 10/6/04 at 4:58pm

yea, you can buy one then go find Michael Moore, tell him "this is from RodneyK" then pound it up his ass.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 5:12pm

Nope, you would have to watch it first. Afraid you might learn something?

[Broadway Matt]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 5:26pm

HAH! That Michael Moore and his crazy adventures. He always manages to do this. Now I agree with virtually everything he works for, but he can be hard to take sometimes. Just when I'm getting sick of seeing and hearing him everywhere, he completely redeems himself when something like this happens. I like the idea of Moore as a slippery fugitive, shouting "You'll never catch me Cheney!" as he lumbers away.

Rodney, what's your beef with Moore anyway? Obviously you have different views, but why the extreme hatred? I'm curious to know.

[Plum]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 5:31pm

Moore's an ass. I don't like him either, and I agree with him far more than Rodney does. I thought the first half of Farenheit 9/11 was his usual over-propagandized stuff, though the second half was very affecting.

But seriously, underwear and Ramen noodles? Come on.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 5:40pm

The man is hysterical. I mean, who else would think of handing out underwear and noodles to encourage people to register. His every move seems to piss off the extreme right wing, and for that alone, I think he is great.
I can’t wait to see what he does next.

[Broadway Matt]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 5:51pm

Plum, I gotcha! Lots of people share that view. Agreed, he's obnoxious and a true shill if there ever was one. But he never claims to be anything but exactly that. You know to expect an extremely slanted voice in his work.

I mainly respect that he does come up with unique campaigns like this one, campy or not, and he's willing to put his ass on the line tirelessly for causes I usually support. It would be one thing if he was this self-promoting purely to make money, but he always picks good causes so he's easier to forgive.

To be honest, I didn't like Fahrenheit 9/11 at all as a movie. I thought it was lazily put together compared to Columbine, it stuck to the same boring format for a long time, and it didn't teach me much I hadn't already heard.

Didn't care for the film, but I have great respect and admiration for its impact on so many people. And his TV series' were great!

[Princess MimiChica]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 6:39pm

The man is not right in the head. I'm ashamed to admit that Moore invaded my campus last week, and I stayed FAR, FAR away (I had to work) but I would have shown up to support the Republican groups who were there to protest him. How can you respect a guy who gives out underwear?? UNDERWEAR!! WTF is that about? What a friggin loser. Updated On: 10/6/04 at 06:39 PM

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 7:00pm

You stayed far , far away? Michael Moore doesn't know how lucky he was. Updated On: 10/6/04 at 07:00 PM

[Princess MimiChica]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 8:02pm

yeah, he's lucky because I would have been the loudest protester there!! My sister got to ask him questions though, so she gave him a peice of her mind for me =)

[Plum]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 10:36pm

Oh, heaven forbid Michael Moore make a parody of non-voting slackers to get them to move their asses for once and go to the polls. What a loser he is for encouraging voter turnout.

Seriously, chica, you need to reconsider your priorities.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 10:43pm

Meems, luckily , you didn't give him a piece of your mind, Judging from your posts - you would have none left.
Updated On: 10/6/04 at 10:43 PM

Posted: 10/6/04 at 10:49pm

I would kill my whole family, then kill myself before I watched that God-forsaken mother-fvcking movie.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/6/04 at 11:47pm

Is that a promise? Well, now I have to buy you the movie.

[Sunfish]

Posted: 10/7/04 at 3:05am

Rodney, " I would kill my whole family, then kill myself before I watched that God-forsaken mother-fvcking movie" and yet you are an expert on it's contents. How quaint. Your witch-hunting skills are well-honed!!

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 10/7/04 at 3:17am

I love when someone condemns a movie they have never seen! Such intelligence!

Michael Moore ROCKS!

Mimi and Rodney--your opinion of him only furthers my adoration for all he stands for.

[Sunfish]

Posted: 10/7/04 at 3:51am

I cannot believe the Michigan Republicans were so stupid as to file something like this against him. OF COURSE he is going to publicise it, and no matter what you think of him, the guy does have a way with words. And he is very famous, and a wacky case like this, about underwear and noodles is getting press coverage nationwide. And Michael Moore is not the one coming out of it looking like a doofus.

Posted: 10/7/04 at 8:46am

Seriously, I hope I'm never within 1000 yeards of that mother fvcker. I don't want to go to jail.

[mominator]

Posted: 10/7/04 at 9:33am

Rodney I know this will most likeky be futile, but I am going to try. People may show you some respect (which you have been asking for)if you try to stopusing the "f" word all the time. It just does not make your argument any stronger, it just shows thst you have no command of the language.

Posted: 10/7/04 at 12:01pm

OK. You're right as always.

I think it was DGrant who pointed out that I do have a command fo the language.

I just get SOOOO pissed whenever I think of Micheal Moore.

Posted: 10/7/04 at 12:03pm

Rodney - you're right, that was me - which only makes it confusing when you choose not to exercise that command.

Posted: 10/7/04 at 12:20pm

Well, you WERE being an asshole to me, but I apologize. I will chastize you only in public from now on.

As for the 1000 yards comment, I'm not gonna do anything to Michael Moore, he's not worth it.