I'm not sure why everybody is picking on the woman asking Cap'n about his sexuality. CLEARLY this is a group of people from a generation that as a matter of course talks about these things. I don't know what the impulse is to suddenly say, "It's not of her business, how dare she speculate?"
Do I need to remind you that Capn himself speculated in the first couple of posts about the guy he was having the conversation with? What's good for the goose is good for the gay goose. Why, he even called this thread "My sexuality." This is hardly a title like, "I vant to be left alone."
But let's pull back and take a larger look at the pictures that Capn has painted in the threads and his blog over the last few weeks.
[CAPN AND OTHERS: SPOILER ALERT! Do not read ahead if you don't want to see how the story ends, and what your sexuality is. You might prefer to be surprised and let it develop naturally and have things happen "in their own time." However, if you just want to see how things end up and GET ON WITH IT, feel free to read my spoiler.]
In his blog recently, Capn told us of a long conversation he had aloud with himself after dark on a rare night that he was alone in his dorm room. In the conversation, and in the blog, he revealed that he has no friends, never had friends as a kid, has always been a person who, if he receives any attention at all, it's of the negative, being picked-on variety.
He even imagines conversations with people who might consider themselves his friends. But he takes great pains to inform them that they are not his friends, that they DON'T KNOW HIM AT ALL.
Well, very often it's the people around us who know about us before we do. Like me for instance. There is only one way for this story to end. And that is for Capn to come to the realization that he is, in fact, gay. Oh, sure, he might go through the "bisexual" phase, but he's a Kinsey 6 gay male. How do I know? He's "not sure" who he likes, sexually. But he loves boobs. This narrative line comes RIGHT out of A Chorus Line, when one of the well adjusted gay characters dates a stripper and he keeps playing with her boobs and playing with her boobs and playing with her boobs. And she asks breathily, "Don't you want to touch anything else?" He tells the audience,"No, I don't. And that was when I realized I was gay."
Little gay boys are almost always picked on because they are perceived as different long before they have a word or phrase to describe what that difference is. And that's most likely why Capn was picked on.
At some point, those who WOULD be our friends (if we would allow them to know us, as Capn laments nobody does) get kind of bored with waiting for the person they'd like to really know and to relate to to let them in. To inform them of what is so obvious to them. To wait for their friend to tell them, "I have something to tell you: I'm gay." So that they can say, "No kidding, let's go out dancing."
It's the way the story is going to go. I'm willing to bet dollars to Magnolia Bakery cupcakes.
Now, I expect some people to jump all over me for this. It's happened before. Last time somebody asked me HOW DARE I prognosticate about somebody on this board's sexuality. The signs were ALL in that person's posts. Sure enough, about six months later, he took tentative steps out of the closet by telling the members of BWW.
So, Cap, I know you feel socially awkward and emotionally stunted by what you perceive as an isolated and terrible childhood and adolescence. You ONLY have the rest of your life. Get on with it. Be fabulous be who you are be happy. Talk to your friends about who you are. The reason you're so sure they don't know you, is you've been holding back. Come out. Do it in time for gay pride month.
You could put it off. But there's no reason to. There's only so many storylines, and this one is yours.
Twitter @NamoInExile
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Updated On: 5/2/05 at 11:07 PM
