My sexuality- Page 3

[PalJoey]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 4:40pm

Well, Cats, that's true of everyone who posts on BWW, isn't it?

Oh.

It isn't?

Updated On: 5/2/05 at 04:40 PM

[TxTwoStep]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 6:50pm

CAPN, for what it's worth, who you masturbate about is your business. What your sexuality might be is better defined by who you have sex with (and you'll know when you want to) than by a flirty conversation. To me, sex itself is "homo-, hetero-, or even bi- or poly-"; people is people.

That some people who have sex with the same gender as themselves choose "gay" or "queer" to define their entire personality is of course wonderful, and i certain support them. But the way our society smears others that make them feel insecure (mainly by insisting on a label for everyone)might intimidate some others. If your politics are liberal, your sex life might still be conservative. And vice versa. If you're "straight but not narrow", some "on the right" might still think you pretty queer. So what?

Live for you and the people who make you happy. Maybe their gender is irrelevant after all.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 10:06pm

My, my, this *has* become a kinder, gentler BWW. On "page three" already and no one has tried to assign the role of the Wicked Witch.

[renthead2005z]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 10:25pm

the wicked witch should be played by the girl who keeps asking him if he is gay...haha j.k.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 11:07pm

I'm not sure why everybody is picking on the woman asking Cap'n about his sexuality. CLEARLY this is a group of people from a generation that as a matter of course talks about these things. I don't know what the impulse is to suddenly say, "It's not of her business, how dare she speculate?"

Do I need to remind you that Capn himself speculated in the first couple of posts about the guy he was having the conversation with? What's good for the goose is good for the gay goose. Why, he even called this thread "My sexuality." This is hardly a title like, "I vant to be left alone."

But let's pull back and take a larger look at the pictures that Capn has painted in the threads and his blog over the last few weeks.

[CAPN AND OTHERS: SPOILER ALERT! Do not read ahead if you don't want to see how the story ends, and what your sexuality is. You might prefer to be surprised and let it develop naturally and have things happen "in their own time." However, if you just want to see how things end up and GET ON WITH IT, feel free to read my spoiler.]

In his blog recently, Capn told us of a long conversation he had aloud with himself after dark on a rare night that he was alone in his dorm room. In the conversation, and in the blog, he revealed that he has no friends, never had friends as a kid, has always been a person who, if he receives any attention at all, it's of the negative, being picked-on variety.

He even imagines conversations with people who might consider themselves his friends. But he takes great pains to inform them that they are not his friends, that they DON'T KNOW HIM AT ALL.

Well, very often it's the people around us who know about us before we do. Like me for instance. There is only one way for this story to end. And that is for Capn to come to the realization that he is, in fact, gay. Oh, sure, he might go through the "bisexual" phase, but he's a Kinsey 6 gay male. How do I know? He's "not sure" who he likes, sexually. But he loves boobs. This narrative line comes RIGHT out of A Chorus Line, when one of the well adjusted gay characters dates a stripper and he keeps playing with her boobs and playing with her boobs and playing with her boobs. And she asks breathily, "Don't you want to touch anything else?" He tells the audience,"No, I don't. And that was when I realized I was gay."

Little gay boys are almost always picked on because they are perceived as different long before they have a word or phrase to describe what that difference is. And that's most likely why Capn was picked on.

At some point, those who WOULD be our friends (if we would allow them to know us, as Capn laments nobody does) get kind of bored with waiting for the person they'd like to really know and to relate to to let them in. To inform them of what is so obvious to them. To wait for their friend to tell them, "I have something to tell you: I'm gay." So that they can say, "No kidding, let's go out dancing."

It's the way the story is going to go. I'm willing to bet dollars to Magnolia Bakery cupcakes.

Now, I expect some people to jump all over me for this. It's happened before. Last time somebody asked me HOW DARE I prognosticate about somebody on this board's sexuality. The signs were ALL in that person's posts. Sure enough, about six months later, he took tentative steps out of the closet by telling the members of BWW.

So, Cap, I know you feel socially awkward and emotionally stunted by what you perceive as an isolated and terrible childhood and adolescence. You ONLY have the rest of your life. Get on with it. Be fabulous be who you are be happy. Talk to your friends about who you are. The reason you're so sure they don't know you, is you've been holding back. Come out. Do it in time for gay pride month.

You could put it off. But there's no reason to. There's only so many storylines, and this one is yours.

Updated On: 5/2/05 at 11:07 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 11:28pm

Bravo, Namo. Beautifully written.

Only one problem: You can never come out FOR somebody else. Despite self-help books, despite suppport froups, despite well-meaning friends, despite judgmental family or clergy, ultimately if Cap'n is gay, Cap'n will have to do it himself.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 5/2/05 at 11:35pm

Oh, I know. That's why I put the Spoiler Alert. If Cap'n needs or wants to continue with the belief that nobody knows him, that he's different in ways that are not describable, and he wants to contiue with revealing more parts of himself piece by piece, we can all pretend to not know where it's going. But there isn't on this planet a male who is a virgin, who THINKS he has no friends (even though he described the two people he had this conversation with today as "friends") and who truly believes that THEATER and BWW are the reasons they are alive today, who is NOT a homosexual.

The straight male version of this person is a baseball junkie or a science fiction fan.

I also believe that the REASON Capn is doing these "gradual reveal" posts is that subconsciously he WANTS somebody to cut to the chase. So I seized the moment.

Incidentally, the guy who suggested the orgy, is bisexual.

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 10:44am

I LOVE Magnolia Cupcakes!!!

But am I allowed one small correction, my dearest Namo? Greg wasn't with the stripper. That was Don. I believe Greg was with the high school slut, Sally Ketchum.

Posted: 5/3/05 at 10:56am

I love you Namo!

Now that I am old (43! Egads!) I can tell you: Straight people don't agonize over their sexuality. They just do it. Anyone who is confused isn't really, they are just reluctant to accept it.

And "No one really knows me" is a HUGE tip off. It's code for "No one really knows what I think about when I masurbate."

Cap'n, if you're still reading these posts, be glad it's 2005 and you have a whole message board to anonymously discuss it with. There were no such things back in 1980-- you lucky boy!!

[PalJoey]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 10:59am

Well, Joe, there was the balcony of the Adonis Theatre on 8th Avenue and 50th Street.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:00am

Capt, my advice still stands. Get thee to a counselor.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:07am

Yikes! Joey brought back TERRIFYING Adonis memories. I went as a teenager in its final days--although those smells and sticky floors were surely there for many, many years. I was petrified and left after ten minutes, vowing to date women immediately upon leaving the theater. And i did (well, a drag queen--does that count?)

Updated On: 5/4/05 at 11:07 AM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:13am

It wasn't paradise,
It wasn't paradise,
It wasn't paradise,
But it was home.

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:21am

I've never heard of that place......do tell!!!!!!

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:31am

I ALWAYS thought "the deep and very narrow stairway" was a metaphor.

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:36am

The last time I touched a 'steep and very narrow stairway' was in 1974!

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:37am

I touched one on Saturday at robbie's show.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:43am

and, I slapped your hand.

[harris007]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:44am

GASP YOU SKANK

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:45am

SOMMS..I was talking about my left hand..you were sitting to my right.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:45am

that chair was empty

[harris007]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:47am

*shakes head*

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:47am

up and down?

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:49am

'I touched one on Saturday at robbie's show.'

God...tell me it's not the same one I touched back in 1974!!!!

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 5/3/05 at 11:50am

No robbie sweetie...unless you're Michael Jackson in disquise.