Oh my god...I feel awful.

[Parks]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 1:28am

So my dad has started dating this woman, Terry. Last night he spent the night at her house (ew..) and tonight he came in and was like, Terry just called me, her AC is broken so I invited her over here. Is that ok? I said sure...then I immediately IM'd one of my friends to tell him the story and just saying stupid things about it- I was being immature and saying stupid things an immature teenager boy would say about his father having a woman sleep in his bedroom...(think about it). So we were chatting and she comes in and asks what I'm doing and I said just chatting with my friend...I left the IM window open and she came over and looked at it. These 3 lines were the only ones she could see:

Parksy says:
I don't want her here
Parksy says:
because I'm RIGHT NEXT to my dad's room.
rumination says:
....gross

Well, she's not even sleeping in my dad's room. Wow, I am such an immature ass h*le.

Updated On: 7/15/05 at 01:28 AM

[Eliza0114]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 1:49am

aw, you can't help how you feel. besides, it may be a little harsh, but what can she expect? I mean, she is your dad's girlfriend and everything. don't beat yourself up about it. it's no big deal.

[Dirty Rotten Scoundrel]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 1:52am

Don't worry about it. I think that in these situations that they are both expecting the worst. But damn! How nosey of her to read your conversation! Geeze lady!

[Aigoo]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 1:54am

Don't sweat it...if it's really something you're gonna lose sleep over, talk to her about it and tell her she only read SOME of what you said. Like...the next line would be "Jk i totally luv her" or something..I dunno.

[Parks]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:06am

...Aigoo...I don't wanna lie...but this is the next part:

Parksy says:
oh f*ck
Parksy says:
oh my god
rumination says:
what
Parksy says:
she definitely just saw our conversatin
Parksy says:
conversation*


I could tell her about that part

[Popular]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:11am

Or maybe next time when your dad asks you if you mind you should ...oh, I don't know....tell the truth?

Saying it's not ok with you will probably lead into a very good and much needed discussion of what is going on between them and how that makes you feel.



Updated On: 7/15/05 at 02:11 AM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:11am

I think you should just play it out to its natural conclusion. Scream, holler and threaten that you know where she's sleeping - all the while carrying on about how no one is thinking of you, and that this is what it's like to be the child in a single-parent situation. You might also slip in that this is why the conservatives are right, and that they're both going straight to hell.

OR, you could acknowledge that it's a delicate situation for you, and that you were just working it out by talking to some friends on-line. She was out-of-line to be reading your posts - and you STILL know where she's sleeping.

[Dirty Rotten Scoundrel]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:15am

I agree with the latter of DGrant's post. BUT...the first part is do-able. Parks- my mom and fiancee just bought a house together and we are moving in in a couple of weeks. I know you feel because I feel like I hardly know this guy! But all will work out...

[Parks]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:17am

I did tell the truth. I was making conversation with my friend in an immature way-by saying stupid things.

I was a little upset she was looking at my conversations, but she didn't mean any harm I'm sure. She didn't mean to be nosey.

[Popular]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:31am

The thing is, she's in a no win situation. Your dad is in a no win situation, and you are in a no win situation. Divorce is a no win situation. All you can do is try to make the best of it and it will take time for you to give her and them a chance, as it should. It sounds like they understand that. It sounds as if your dad was trying to be sensitive by asking you if it was ok (maybe even her idea for him to ask you?) and they respected you enough to not sleep in the same room so that's a start. She also made an effort to connect with you which is very cool, even if it was a feeble attempt and even if she glanced at your computer by accident.

And it seems to me that if you were badmouthing her you'd minimize that message box the second she walked in. It seems odd that you would keep it open while she was in your room, especially if you were informing her that you were chatting with your friend. She might've mistaken your sharing as an invitation to participate? I don't know, like I said before these situations are never 100% perfect.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:33am

My guess is she thinks you are hot and is gonna wait until your Dad passes out and sneak back into your room....yep, that is my guess...Let us know what happens...

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 2:46am

Sueleen - projection, dear, projection.

[Parks]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 3:08am

Sueleen...

ew.

I had internet explorer open to one of my friends' Xangas and I knew she'd ask about it, so I covered it up with our IM window-didn't realize it was the one between him and I...and...yeah. Definitely didn't even realize it was up until after she had left.

My dad always asks me if I'm ok with him going out and stuff-and personally, I get kinda tired of it. He needs to make decisions for himself. He doesn't need my OK to go out. -_- That's nice of him to ask though.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 9:08am

It's possible that she wasn't going to sleep in his room anyway...even before she say the IM. Either way, it's okay, because it IS an uncomfortable situation. And having them realize it in time to NOT do something that would have freaked you out is much better than if she had read it 'the morning after'. It sounds like both adults are very considerate and respectful of your wishes...and that's a reasonable basis for you to give her the benefit of the doubt and see if you can find things to like about her.

As for feeling badly about what she read, don't. And you can soften the blow by being pleasant and friendly to her this morning. That way she'll know that it was the sleeping together in his room issue, and not just her as a person, that made you uncomfortable.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 9:16am

"My dad always asks me if I'm ok with him going out and stuff-and personally, I get kinda tired of it. He needs to make decisions for himself. He doesn't need my OK to go out. -_- That's nice of him to ask though."

It's called being considerate of your feelings, and I'm sure there are some single parents out there who wouldn't even think of asking their kids if this or that were o.k. with them. Be thankful he is the way he is and respects your feelings.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 9:20am

You know, Parks, you had the opportunity to discuss your feelings when your father originally asked your permission for this woman to stay with you. The two of you could have thrashed things out and this awkward situation could have been avoided.

It's still not too late for you to be up front with this lady and talk over this very sensitive issue. Your honesty now might avoid another problem later.

[ConvinceMe2]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 9:39am

Parksy, Parksy, Parksy...you're very young lad. You should feel awful! That's how we grow-up.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 11:20am

popular, excellent post.....you are so wise!

[Parks]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 1:18pm

bdwaygirl, I said it's nice of him to ask-I just wish he wasn't THAT considerate. He's still so uncomfortable about dating, I just wish he would loosen up a little bit.

dollypop, those were my real feelings. I wouldn't have cared if they had shared a room. I wanted to make conversation with my friend and I did it in an immature way. This is like how people make drama when they're bored. Things that don't matter, but they make a big deal out of it so they can have something to talk about (if that makes sense...)

[Mamie]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 1:44pm

Parks -
Print out this thread and let her read it. All will be well.
(Maybe your dad should read it too.)

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 3:01pm

good idea mamie

[Popular]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 3:14pm

"dollypop, those were my real feelings. I wouldn't have cared if they had shared a room."

...sorry, don't beleive you. And you SHOULD care!

[BwayTheatre11]

Posted: 7/15/05 at 6:41pm

Folks, Parks wants his dad to be happy, which is why he said he didn't mind if she came over.

Divorce is tough. Both my mom and dad have been remarried and divorced again. Meeting knew people is tough, but definitely give her chance.

My mom is engaged again. I enjoy her fiance, but they do argue a lot. I told her that I don't want him moving into a house with us if you two are always going to fight. This is after I gave him a chance. I just want my mom to be happy.

Apologize to her...she SHOULD understand.

[Parks]

Posted: 7/16/05 at 12:09am

...I don't care what my dad does. (I mean, he doesn't need my approval). He's a very wise man and he makes good decisions. If he wants to share a room with this woman, then it's his choice-and hopefully it's a good one.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 7/16/05 at 12:41pm

In my day (the 70's), the (my) divorced parents did whatever the hell they wanted, it was THEIR HOUSE.

You should be glad you're growing up in a time where your father is sensitive enough to even discuss it with you.