People having trouble making and keeping plans — Page 2

I have identified those people who always seem to promise and don't come through, even after you have changed your own schedule to accommodate them. I don't take it personally because they seem to do the same thing to other people. It's like they are important and no one else is. Some of them have simply drifted away - not worth the effort.

good advice, hork..

Here's my latest horror story. I have a couple of friends in town from NM. they are stoners, 24/7. They have either cancelled, postponed, or changed the time of every single thing we've done in town. I'm supposed to cook dinner for them on Monday. Guess what - I'm not! no way am I going to buy all the food and booze, start cooking the day before, make sure the apt is cleaned, only to have them change it . And they do this LAST MINUTE.

Instead I will take them out to dinner somewhere whenever it happens to occur.

There are a percentage of people who are chronic liars, feel for them, and keep them far away.

Actually, the thread is more about being just plain rude, rather than overbooking and technology.

supportivemom said: "Well, I am old school and believe in honoring my commitments. I can understand an occasional cancellation but if it's habitual, I would think twice or move on with people who do not do that. Job situations are totally different as people DO need to pay their bills but if the job is not the reason, I'm sorry, but I just think it's selfish! To me, technology has nothing to do with being loyal and respectful. I don't even understand overbooking as I just do not do that! I don't like to be disappointed so I would not do that to someone else and I certainly would not forget a dinner with someone either. I will even call if I am running late or something is holding me up but if I say I will be somewhere, I will and I have taught both of my kids to do the same. Just my two cents and my honest response. Kumbaya :)



"

Amen. I'm the same way.

About a month ago, a friend of mine - who is admittedly of his own accord, "flakey" - asked ME to have dinner with him. This was after a long hiatus where we had not seen each other. He asked ME to have dinner with him - keep that in mind. We set a time, place, both put it in our calendars, and seemingly were looking forward to it. An hour before, I texted to verify we were still on. Nothing. So, me, being a plan-keeper, headed to the restaurant, got a table, and had a drink. 3 minutes after scheduled meeting time - no friend. 8 minutes - no friend. 15 minutes - no friend. 17 minutes in/an hour 17 min. after I had first texted him to confirm, a text message: "I just can't tonight, way too tired, and have had an awful day, sorry." AFTER our scheduled meeting time, mind you, for the dinner HE proposed. To this day, we have not spoken since, and he has called, texted, and sent homing pigeons to find out why. Completely clueless as to his own stupid behavior - that was my last button. So, yeah - some people do suck.

"To this day, we have not spoken since, and he has called, texted, and sent homing pigeons to find out why."

Jason,

Why don't you just tell him? You'd actually be doing yourself a favor. It would end his badgering you, and who knows, he might even try to mend his ways in the future.

"

Damn, another double post.

Updated On: 5/15/16 at 10:27 AM

"I don't know what I am doing this weekend" is actually a pretty insulting excuse. I mean if implies your friend, at the moment, has no plans, might make plans but anything she/he might decide to do is more important then making a plan with you to get together.

I had a "friend" who always wanted me to go to the club with him. It took me a while to realize this person was afraid to walk into the club by himself, but needed me "a crutch" to walk with him inside. Once he was inside and felt comfortable, it was not very long until he found what he thought was somebody more popular to hang out with, and I never saw him again during the night. When you are young, the need to feel popular is something that many people strive for. This person always wanted to be popular. As you age, that need should diminish. For this person it hasn't. Now older, the bar scene is still important to him. He is an old, bitter, tired alcoholic. I on the otherhand, who gave up the drinking and the bar scene years ago, look years younger than I am.

Updated On: 5/15/16 at 01:46 PM

What s the Internet etiquette for sending and receiving invitations on FB? (I m old school, too)

NYadgal said: "I'm, unfortunately, one of those people who frequently has to cancel or change plans, due to my work. I hate having to do it - because I always look forward to spending time with my friends and because I am so exhausted by the 24/7 need to be available for clients, often having to hop on a plane and fly to another city with mere hours notice.

I also had a number of years when my life priority was taking care of family needs. So, the combination made it beyond difficult.

There are certain months during the year when I don't even make plans because of work commitments. I hate it every time it happens. Just as it breaks my heart to cancel plans.

I'm so grateful I have friends who put up with me. Because, believe me, if the choice was mine, seeing them would always be my priority. But, until I retire.... sigh.



"

I have several friends who, like you Addy, work unpredictable jobs. I know that their schedules can change at a moment's notice, and I don't fault them if they have to cancel/alter plans at the last minute. I know it pains them.

I also have had friends who were prone to canceling plans willy-nilly. To me, they didn't deserve the same benefit of the doubt, and in most cases, those friendships have cooled. It's situational. If things are truly out of your control, that is one thing; if you're merely careless, that's another.

It looks like I had a similar experience with a member of this board. I had decided not to meet anymore posters in person a long time ago, and I need to stick to that.