People who live their lives online and expect other to know everything about them

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 7:45pm

Been thinking about this lately.

It's a weird side effect of the online "friendships," where people think that when they post something ... a photo, a status update, some new info about them ... that all of their virtual connections see it and know about it.

I know I'm far from being Mr. Internet. I have over a thousand Facebook friends, but I'm small potatoes compared to other friends of mine (yes, the non-virtual kind) who have "maxed out" at 5,000.

And to be honest, I don't have a thousand friends. Hell, I have a few really good ones. A dozen or so more that I don't see often enough, due to our geographic locations, etc. But that's it, in the "real" non-virtual world. But in Facebookland, I have 1,000+ now. Okay, sure, it's nice.

But I don't think when I post something that they ALL see it, read it, absorb it, and remember it.

I should also add that I don't tweet, at least not yet. I don't have an account. Maybe I will in the future, but I still think it's odd ... and here's my (longwinded) point to this post ... when someone says to me, "Oh, yeah, my dad died. Didn't you read it on Facebook?" Or "Surely you heard I had cancer. I tweeted about it months ago."

It's a strange state. People don't actually reach out to real (again, non-virtual) friends to tell them something they feel is very important, like a major death or illness or divorce or that they moved to a different country, etc.

So I'm left with several friends now who "blast" their lives like a mass marketing campaign to their huddled masses and then assume we all know what they're up to. And they act like you're not really interested in them if you don't "subscribe" to them, like a magazine and read all of their updates.

I wonder how some of you feel about this.

[GlindatheGood22]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 7:51pm

I don't think I'm too media-innundated. My rule with Facebook birthdays is that I don't wish you a happy one unless I didn't need Facebook to tell me it was your birthday. In other news I am a horrid bitch.

But really, I figure what people want to share online is largely their business, but don't hold me responsible for remembering everything you post. i figure if it's something I need to know they'll tell me directly.

[Wynbish]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 7:54pm

I blocked my dad as stepmother from my Facebook updates for a long time because Dad actually told me that if I didn't say I was having a hard time in a status update, he didn't feel the need to check up on me and assumed I was fine. I rarely talk about personal stuff on Facebook; I usually just share half of Buzzfeed daily.

The thing that gets me is when I do Facebook inside jokes or references that not everyone will get, and there's this little old lady who goes to my church who has to ask "what is this?" on everything. If you don't get it, then it's not for you, lady. But on the other hand, she has to see it in her newsfeed.

I only have under 150 Facebook friends because my personal view of it is: If I can't talk to you or haven't talked to you in person, then why include you online?

[Marianne2]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 8:08pm

I agree. I will post stuff on Facebook, but not everything. I think certain things are rude to post at first. Like last year, I found out that my aunt died via Facebook because of my sister. Nobody told me that day at all. I've heard of that happening to other people too.

I also hate people who post obscure things so then you have to guess what's going on. My sister is famous for that one too.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 8:18pm

I delete people who post picture of their wounds.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 8:31pm

Do not post on facebook or twitter

[Kad]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 8:42pm

I very rarely post actual life updates on Facebook- most of my statuses are humorous.

And if someone DID miss that I am in a relationship, or i moved, or whatever- no big deal. I don't assume people are keeping tabs on my life.

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 8:55pm

I dunno, I enjoy posting all kinds of stuff on FB. It's a quick way to let all your (real) friends to know some news all at once so you don't have to be calling everyone. And I get suggestions, critiques, convos, everything. I'm not a phone person, so maybe that's why I like fb and emailing for making plans and such.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 9:00pm

I know Jane has recently dyed her hair a lovely shade of pink!

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 9:11pm

Yeah, and I got lots of good feedback from it!

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 9:50pm

Everyone is welcome to post whatever they like on Facebook--big life changes, Onion headlines, invitations, what have you--but just assume I may or may not have seen it. If I know you in real life, I expect to hear from you directly if something matters.

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 9:56pm

Oh, I know people use Facebook and Twitter and blogs for a variety of reasons.

I think that's fine. Some use it as a promotional tool, others to connect via "serious posts" to friends, other use it purely for entertainment purposes and post food photos or the weather or just share other posts and images.

That's all fine. And in truth, I use it for "all of the above," myself.

The weird part, and maybe it's just that I've had it happen with more than one friend myself over the past couple of months, is when there is an expectation attached to these status updates.

"Well, surely you must have read that my mother is in the hospital." Or "Did you see that I got fired?" or "I moved to Sweden six months ago. It was on Facebook."

NOTE: None of these are true examples, but similar.

For me, I felt almost guilty, like I was supposed to be checking the statuses of everyone each day to make sure I was abreast of anything major.

Anyway, it ain't gonna happen. I just didn't understand why people expected that if they posted this info, they were done communicating. "It has been said."

Weird.

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 10:07pm

I've never run into that, Besty. And I agree with you. Important things require real life contact.

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 10:11pm

Well, it sounds like most of you posting haven't run across this.

I've only run across it recently, but more than once, so I was just wondering if anybody else had. It seemed like such an odd behavior.

Thanks!

[Addison D.]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 10:12pm

I felt--and continue to feel--that friends are few and far between. One of the hallmarks of friendship is that people take the time to make room for me in their (real) lives and for whom I make the same, reciprocal, effort.

Everyone draws their own line in the sand for how they define these relationships. There are people whom I haven't seen in a year or more but with whom I have an ongoing e-mail and/or text relationship through which we remain up to date. This electronic communication is acceptable to me--receiving a periodic mass e-mail is not.

I value being communicated with as an individual. I want you to tell me something that happened to you in which you think I will be interested. Similarly, I send an e-mail to tell you something that reminded me of YOU, specifically. If you are "too busy" to make that effort, I understand. But it means that we aren't "friends"--we are acquaintances.

I recognize that this is retrograde. Antediluvian. Old School. I recognize that I miss out on things. But I don't know what I'm missing, and so I'm OK with it. I love and cherish my friends. I'd be happy to make new ones. I'd be sad to lose the ones I have.

The thought of keeping up with 1,000 people makes me dizzy.

I'm not interested in seeing photographs of anything that anybody, anywhere has eaten or is about to eat. Ever. Under any circumstances.

Updated On: 8/12/13 at 10:12 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 11:37pm

As everyone knows from my recent Facebook postings and Tweets and Instagravures, I have very strong feelings about this.

VERY.

So you will all know what I mean when I say: "No there there."

[Wishing Only Wounds]

Posted: 8/12/13 at 11:52pm

Twitter (and instagram, for that matter) has become more of a stream of consciousness for me. I'm not one of those people who rants about how miserable their life is. But for instance, today a grasshopper landed on my table and was staring at me... I took a photo of it, put it on Instagram and shared it to twitter.

Facebook is just a way of staying in touch with people, for me at least. I review everything before I am "tagged" in it and I do not wish anyone a happy birthday over facebook. If I care to wish you a happy birthday, I'll reach out to you personally.

I do like social media because it acts as a time capsule of sorts. It'll be fascinating to see how society treats the social media revolution. I remember being shocked last year when, the fact that the London 2012 Olympics would be the first fully social media covered games, made headline news.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 3:49am

I used to just have all kinds of people that I had any sort of connection with on my Facebook. Then I just accepted any friend request that came along. I downsized tremendously when my daughter was born. Now I only keep people on it that I know pretty well and a few from here, who while I don't KNOW them, I do enjoy keeping up with their interesting lives and opinions.

It's a lifeline for me to stay in contact with those back in the US. I am on it way too much.

I have run across people who get PISSED that you don't pay attention to every status update. "I lost my job last month because my boss is an ignorant ****and was intimidated because I knew more than he did! Have you read NOTHING I have posted?!" Uh... no? I don't expect people to pay much attention to what I have to say. If I feel like someone needs to see something I post, I will tag them in a comment or post to their wall. I have mommy brain and it has unintentionally become all about the kid. I am well aware that very few on Facebook care beyond our best friends. lol

Updated On: 8/13/13 at 03:49 AM

[javero]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 5:20am

No FB or Twitter for me. I'm registered with LinkedIn though. This is currently the only message board that I post to. I either text or send email to folks that I want to maintain contact with apart from my mom who does neither. I'm just not going to allow social media management to turn into a 2nd job for me.