Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~ — Page 2

DD, the person in my first post changed overnight. Drastically. that's why I doubted it. However, I mentioned he's still like that 7 months later. I'll never know if he's faking it or if it's real, and how he feels inside.

---

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

I saw a startling example of a changed personality like this at work one time. My office was next to a large division that was headed by a fairly young man with the worst personality on planet earth. That man never smiled, never chatted with anyone, and the only time you heard him speak was to order someone around or criticize someone harshly. Although we didn't work for him, he did have business in our office and we HATED it when he came around. He put such a chill in the air that all chit chat stopped when he came around. You were afraid to speak until he was gone. I heard one of techs in the office say that he was sure if he'd had a heart attack and was unconscious on the floor, Jim would just as soon walk on him as go around.

One Monday morning this guy walked in and stunned us all. He had always had a full beard and mustache and on this morning he was clean shaven. He walked past each of us with a big smile on his face and a cheery 'good morning' for each one. I know it sounds like an exaggeration, but it's true - we didn't know who it was! It wasn't until he was in our boss's office and we could hear his voice that we guessed it might be Jim. He left with more smiles and he was even whistling! This was his new persona for each day after that.

About a year later I was offered a job as a branch chief, working for this man. I was very hesitant to take it because the old memories of him were still LARGE. But the job was too good and so I took it. In all honesty, in the 30 years I worked, he was the best boss I ever had. I loved him to pieces! He bent over backwards to get to know everybody in his division by their first names and he would always greet them by name when he passed them. (No easy task considering the fact that there were over 70 people in the division then.

One day, probably at an office Christmas party, with my nerve bolstered by a lot of wine, I asked him about it. He admitted that he was a real SOB up to that weekend. He said that something had happened to him that weekend and it was personal and he didn't want to share it. He just said 'it was soul wrenching!'.

I guess I knew him for almost 15 years after the big change and he never went back to the old personality. When he retired he had the biggest turnout for his reception. Everyone who had ever worked for him came in to honor him.

---

Oh, well, there's your answer.

Prolonged exposure to working with the public will eventually make you want to kill people.

---

without change, we stagnate.

Life IS change

---

I guess I confused things a bit... I think there's a difference between the natural 'maturing' we do as human beings, our beliefs change, our minds expand. That's just part of the natural part of life. A lot of that happens without us even noticing.

Then there's the change we 'strive' for. When we see/know something about ourselves that we would like to change. Like getting a backbone, becoming more assertive and less passive aggressive (does that have 2 gs?), learning not to expect too much from people, enjoying life more. Those are all conscious changes.

---

That is something I'm finally learning how to do, Jane. I always expected SO much from people, and when they didn't deliver, get SO disappointed. I'm learning to understand my friends, accept them for what they have to offer and not expect from them what they can't deliver.

---

Welcome back, Nathan!

---

"I always expected SO much from people, and when they didn't deliver, get SO disappointed. I'm learning to understand my friends, accept them for what they have to offer and not expect from them what they can't deliver."

I always do that. I expect what I put out, and when it's not returned I get upset. My mom always says don't expect it and you won't miss it. It's so true.

labrinka, i'll not have you sullying the serious discussion thread with your poorly articulated attacks!

---