Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~- Page 2
Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
#25re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 12:41pmDD, the person in my first post changed overnight. Drastically. that's why I doubted it. However, I mentioned he's still like that 7 months later. I'll never know if he's faking it or if it's real, and how he feels inside.
#26re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 12:46pmI don't know so much about the overnight change. I guess it could be true... I would find it extremely exhausting to put on a charade for that long.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
brdlwyr
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/14/05
#27re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 12:46pm
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
#28re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 12:46pm
There may be something else going on in Jane's' co-worker, as well, though. What were the demands and rigors of his previous position as opposed to the one he has now?
When we opened the bookstore where I work now, I had to be there from open to close, every day for the first year and a half. No breaks - in front of the customers constantly. After six months of this I was the most miserable, angry person you could ever imagine and continued to do the job as such for another year. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and spoke to my boss. We re-organized the store and cut back my responsibilities (and, unfortunately my salary). Within two months of the change you could dramatically see the difference in my personality. I was far happier, more energetic, and regained my old sense of humor.
So maybe his repositioning was the result of something bad, but the new job is much better suited for him and THAT'S, at least partially, why he so much happier. It may not all be an act.
Mamie
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/26/04
#29re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 12:58pm
I saw a startling example of a changed personality like this at work one time. My office was next to a large division that was headed by a fairly young man with the worst personality on planet earth. That man never smiled, never chatted with anyone, and the only time you heard him speak was to order someone around or criticize someone harshly. Although we didn't work for him, he did have business in our office and we HATED it when he came around. He put such a chill in the air that all chit chat stopped when he came around. You were afraid to speak until he was gone. I heard one of techs in the office say that he was sure if he'd had a heart attack and was unconscious on the floor, Jim would just as soon walk on him as go around.
One Monday morning this guy walked in and stunned us all. He had always had a full beard and mustache and on this morning he was clean shaven. He walked past each of us with a big smile on his face and a cheery 'good morning' for each one. I know it sounds like an exaggeration, but it's true - we didn't know who it was! It wasn't until he was in our boss's office and we could hear his voice that we guessed it might be Jim. He left with more smiles and he was even whistling! This was his new persona for each day after that.
About a year later I was offered a job as a branch chief, working for this man. I was very hesitant to take it because the old memories of him were still LARGE. But the job was too good and so I took it. In all honesty, in the 30 years I worked, he was the best boss I ever had. I loved him to pieces! He bent over backwards to get to know everybody in his division by their first names and he would always greet them by name when he passed them. (No easy task considering the fact that there were over 70 people in the division then.
One day, probably at an office Christmas party, with my nerve bolstered by a lot of wine, I asked him about it. He admitted that he was a real SOB up to that weekend. He said that something had happened to him that weekend and it was personal and he didn't want to share it. He just said 'it was soul wrenching!'.
I guess I knew him for almost 15 years after the big change and he never went back to the old personality. When he retired he had the biggest turnout for his reception. Everyone who had ever worked for him came in to honor him.
A click for life.
mamie4 5/14/03
#30re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:00pmWW-the guy was originally the person who 'greets' the public. He was moved to a position which deals with people, but not as many of them!
#31re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:15pm
Oh, well, there's your answer.
Prolonged exposure to working with the public will eventually make you want to kill people. 
#32re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:23pmyep-after 25 years of teaching, I want to kill kids.
#33re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:26pm
without change, we stagnate.
Life IS change
wickedrentq
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/6/04
#34re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:45pm
This is a really interesting discussion. Is change, and more importantly, growth an important part of life? Indeed. We all can improve ourselves. However, there has to be a line IMO. There has to be some acceptable identity of yourself that goes unchanging, or what's to stop you from becoming a completely new person? Like improvement is one thing, to change a lot b/c you've realized there's lots of things about yourself that can use improvement. But on the other hand, what about the middle school phenomenon of conformity? I don't consider it improvement if you wear the same clothes and hair and well totally change yourself for the purpose of fitting in, instead of the improvement of yourself. So where do we draw the line? How can we tell if we're changing for improvement of conformity? What if conformists say we're improving and we're misled into believing it? What of ourselves must we hold onto?
And Iflit, I totally understand what you mean! I too have always kind of gone back and forth between my reality world and fantasy world. Not only did I expect certain holidays to be a certain way, but I also expected my friends to be, which caused me a lot of hardship. You know I would be upset if they never met my nearly impossible expectations. It took a big...rough time in my life to see that while they may not be my perfect-fantasy friends they did care about me and were there for me in their own way, and as much as I must accept myself for who I am, I also must accept others for who they are. I've been much happier ever since.
#35re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:51pm
I guess I confused things a bit... I think there's a difference between the natural 'maturing' we do as human beings, our beliefs change, our minds expand. That's just part of the natural part of life. A lot of that happens without us even noticing.
Then there's the change we 'strive' for. When we see/know something about ourselves that we would like to change. Like getting a backbone, becoming more assertive and less passive aggressive (does that have 2 gs?), learning not to expect too much from people, enjoying life more. Those are all conscious changes.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
#36re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 1:57pm
This may be cliche by now, but it's oh so true- We cannot change how other people are going to act, but we CAN change how we react to them.
So when our friends or relatives don't behave in ways that we hope or expect them to, we can certainly learn how to adjust our own reactions to that disappointment and in this way, improve our own state of mind.
#37re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 2:02pmThat is something I'm finally learning how to do, Jane. I always expected SO much from people, and when they didn't deliver, get SO disappointed. I'm learning to understand my friends, accept them for what they have to offer and not expect from them what they can't deliver.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
LaBrinka
Swing Joined: 3/21/06
#38re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 3:42pmWhy don't you ask half the posters on this board, they all want to be somebody ELSE!
#39re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 3:45pmWelcome back, Nathan!
#40re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 3:48pmRath, someone forgot to throw their dirty socks away.
#41re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 3:51pm
"I always expected SO much from people, and when they didn't deliver, get SO disappointed. I'm learning to understand my friends, accept them for what they have to offer and not expect from them what they can't deliver."
I always do that. I expect what I put out, and when it's not returned I get upset. My mom always says don't expect it and you won't miss it. It's so true.
LaBrinka
Swing Joined: 3/21/06
#42re: Serious discussion-Becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 3:51pmSpeaking of dirty socks, how much are they paying you for performing in South Pasific, Gertie?
#43serious discussion - becoming someone else~
Posted: 3/21/06 at 3:59pmlabrinka, i'll not have you sullying the serious discussion thread with your poorly articulated attacks!
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
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