The Most Random Thread EVER!- Page 6

[actor]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 8:53am

Yeah, it's frustrating.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 9:02am

Here are some more Anti-Jokes for ya!


What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Terminal Cancer!

---

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Hit it with an axe.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Being shot in the head

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how do you make a mime yell?

throw a brick at his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cuz he died.

---

What did the hobo get for Christmas?

Nothing.

---

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It was stapled to the chicken's back.

---

Why was your eye itchy?

Because a spider layed its eggs in your head

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Why did you feel unwell?

You had the plague

---


What did Helen Keller name her dog?

oggkhknmfdsnkmnfdjznfj

---

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: He didn't. He got hit by a bus.
---

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A: One is an edible substance and the other is a person who believes in Judaism.

---

Q: What happened to the elderly old man who liked to play tricks on children?

A: He was stoned to death.

---

What did Batman say to Robin to get him in the car?

Get in the car.

---

I was walking down the street the other day when this bum comes up to me and says he hasn't had a bite in three days.

So I stabbed him.

---

Q.What did the robot say to the child?

A.Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

---

why can't the little boy go to school?

he has terminal cancer.

---

Why did Hellen Keller lose her hand?

She tried to read a road sign at 40 miles an hour.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They moved the furniture.

---

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head."

His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings."

---

Why did the clown fall off the swing?

Someone shot him in the face

---

What did the horse say when the guy started spanking his ass?

Nothing...Horses dont talk.

---

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

A: She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

---

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus are incapable of feeling fear.

---

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bob."
"Oh, come in."

---

How many Hindu's can you get into a Mini?
4 adults and possibly a small child.

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There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

---

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

Because she was an abusive drunk.

---

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?

Because she was blind, deaf and mute.

---

What's grosser than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can?

Having your skin peeled off.

---

Why did the little boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap?

Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophile father.

---

What was the pirate movie rated?

PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

---

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

---

Q: A blonde and a brunette jump off a building. Which one hits the ground first?

A: It depends on their weight and drag coefficient.

---

One time a boy came home from school and he said to his dad 'Dad I had sex with my teacher.' His dad was like 'Good job.' A few months later the boy died of STDs.

---

Your momma's so fat, she eats too much and doesn't get proper exercise.

---

Why did the little boy say his prayers every night?

Because every night at 2A.M. when his dad comes home drunk he hears him beat his mom and wonders when he will be next.

---

Three men walk into a bar. They're all alcoholics, and they beat their wives.

---

How do you kill a fox?

Beat it with a stick until its heart stops beating from all the trauma. Death will soon follow.

---

So a priest, R. Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They then proceed to molest small children.

---

Why did the child cross the road?

An arsonist set his house ablaze, causing his paraplegic family to die a slow painful fiery death. Their death screams consequently drove the child to madness. A truck hit him, showering the pavement with entrails.

---

Once there was a man who lived with his family in Africa. They were very poor, and never had enough to eat. One day the man said "I'll run in the Olympics and when I win the gold medal, I'll be able to feed my family!"
He practiced and practiced, but then one day he lost both his legs in a lawnmower accident and never walked again.

---

Why is the sky blue?

Light is made up of electromagnetic waves. The distance between 2 crests in this wave is called the wavelength. White light contains all the colors of the rainbow. The amount of light scattered for any given colour depends on the wavelength of that colour. All the colors in white light have different wavelengths. Red light has the longest wavelength. The wavelength of blue light is about half that of red light. This difference in wavelength causes blue light to be scattered nearly ten times more than red light. Lord Rayleigh studied this phenomena in detail. It is caused the Tyndall effect or Rayleigh scattering. Lord Rayleigh also calculated that even without smoke and dust in the atmosphere, the oxygen and nitrogen molecules would still cause the sky to appear blue because of scattering. When blue light waves try to go straight through an oxygen and nitrogen molecules, its light is scattered in all directions because of this collision. This scattered blue light is what makes the sky blue. All other colors (with longer wavelengths than blue light) are scattered too. Blue light's short wavelength causes it to be scattered the most. (The shorther the wavelength of the color, the more that color gets scattered by the atmosphere). Actually, violet has the shortest wavelength of all colors. Violet is scattered even more than blue light. However, our eyes are much more sensitive to see blue than violet, therefore we see the sky as blue. Very little visible light is absorbed by the atmosphere.

---

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It died.

---

Why did the puppy eat rat poison?

Because he was blind.

---

Ask me if I'm an orange.
Are you an orange?
No.

---

Q: How do you know it's bed time at Michael Jaskson's house?

A: When Michael Jackson is tired.

---

Q: What is hard, lasts forever, and is something girls love to have on their body?

A: A diamond.

---

Q: What did the hooker say to the priest?

A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

---

Your momma's so fat, she bought an issue of Cosmo for an article on breast self-exams but became deeply depressed when bombarded by page after page of images perpetuating an impossible standard of beauty. That night she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep.

---

Q: Why do women have boobs?

A: To provide milk to feed their offspring.

---

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

---

Q: Why didn't the boy want to go home after school?

A: Because his dad beats & molests him.

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Q: What do you call a black person with a white belt?

A: A beginner at karate.

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Q: Why did the soldier cry himself to sleep?

A: Because he had bamboo shoots shoved under his fingernails every day for a year in a POW camp

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Q: Why did the young boy touch himself at night?

A: He was shot in his stomach and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding as he slowly grew unconcious.

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One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'

---

Q: What's a pirate's favorite element on the periodic table?

A: Carbon, because it forms the backbones of many energy rich sugars.

---

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar.

A bar fight ensues, and the blonde is killed in the midst of gunfire.
It was a horrible tragedy.

---

Q: What did Hellen Keller do when she fell off a cliff?
A: She screamed her hands off.

Updated On: 10/7/06 at 09:02 AM

[actor]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 9:44am

HAHA, those were funny.

[coolphantom919]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 9:45am

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 9:53am

Was there supposed to be more than a red bar?

If not, that that is Very random. haha.

[StephenSondheimWHOO]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 7:46pm

ahhh Im obseesed with the anti jokes

[actor]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 7:49pm

Haha.

[StephenSondheimWHOO]

Posted: 10/7/06 at 10:26pm

i sent all the jokes my friends to quote lestat I WANT MORE

Posted: 10/7/06 at 10:33pm

A brother and sister are trapped in a room.
Since they realize that they'll never get out, they start having sex.
5 minutes later, the brother says, "Mmm... you kiss just like mom does."
The sister then replied with, "Really? Dad says the same thing."

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/8/06 at 12:00pm

Hahahaha.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/8/06 at 12:06pm

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/8/06 at 12:08pm

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/8/06 at 12:11pm

A man goes to the doctor and pokes himself in the leg with his index finger. The man says "Ow! Doctor, it hurts whenever I poke myself here!" The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

----

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And your mother is a whore

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
The Holocaust.

---

Why don't they sell penicillin in the jungle?

It would be unfeasable to sell it in a largely unpopulated area.

[DancNdaMoonlite]

Posted: 10/8/06 at 1:45pm

Lol I love the roses are red one.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 7:56am

Good Monday morning everyone!

[catharsis]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 9:16am

Mornin'.
*sings Folger's tune* The best part of waking up..is BWW in my cup.

[HeartandMusic]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 9:32am

Ha, some of the anti-jokes are now my new default away message.

[catharsis]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 9:42am

Ha.
They're pretty funny.




[nevermind] Updated On: 10/9/06 at 09:42 AM

[Yero]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 10:48am

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

[Yero]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 2:47pm

I need to stop killing threads...

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 3:05pm

I don't know. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

[Yero]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 3:07pm

a fsh!

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 3:11pm

Boooooo!! hahaha.

[MistressoftheHouse]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 4:28pm

Heh, well if we're going there....

What do you call a cow with no legs?

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 10/9/06 at 4:31pm

what?