Stole this from another board...which stole it from somewhere else.
Anti Jokes Knock knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your husband died in a car wreck.
A man goes to the doctor and pokes himself in the leg with his index finger. The man says "Ow! Doctor, it hurts whenever I poke myself here!" The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."
Q. What's the difference between michael jackson and a toaster?
A. A toaster makes toast. Michael Jackson molests little boys.
Q. What did the rock say to the river?
A. Nothing, rocks can't talk.
Three men walk into a bar. They're all alcoholics, and they beat their wives.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And your mother is a whore
What did the deaf, blind, and mute kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The pizza man.
The pizza man who?
Pizza Man Steve.
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
The Holocaust.
Yo Mama's so fat, that she was instructed by the doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even a heart attack later in life.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
What do you call a dead blonde in the closet?
The victim of a horrible sex crime
How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
The police report indicates three.
I'm sick, I know.
Avatar credit goes to _shiksagoddess_ on livejournal.com.