The Problem With Gay Men Today- Page 2

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 4/25/11 at 1:55pm

"Of all the things I hate Larry Kramer for, however, it's the fact that he is one of the chief offenders who just keeps repeating all the same negative BS about the gay community that has become the received wisdom over the years. Gay men don't care about each other, gay men have attitude, all gay men care about is sex. He knows nothing. He really knows nothing about what happens on a community level and he never has."

Not to overshare or anything...but what the hell. As I sat in the hospital for a week, waiting to say goodbye to David, I was surrounded by my closest group of friends. All but two were gay. I was also surrounded by my family (and David's family). My mother turned to me at one point and said, 'Ya know...you all come from families who accept you and have never had a problem with you being gay. And yet you still found each other and made this amazing family for yourselves. That's very special.'

The gay community may have elements of what Mr. Kramer rails on and on about. But it's simply not the sum of its worst parts. We're just a group of profoundly flawed, profoundly human people who try to get through this life as best we can. I don't need to be told I'm better than anyone else. Nor do I need to be berated about not living up to Sophocles or Leonardo da Vinci.

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 4/25/11 at 2:04pm

The gay community may have elements of what Mr. Kramer rails on and on about. But it's simply not the sum of its worst parts. We're just a group of profoundly flawed, profoundly human people who try to get through this life as best we can. I don't need to be told I'm better than anyone else. Nor do I need to be berated about not living up to Sophocles or Leonardo da Vinci.

I like your statement alot SonofRobbieJ...this is so true!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/25/11 at 2:20pm

Of all the things I hate Larry Kramer for...

I just cringe that I put it that way. Primarily because I have empathy for others, the very thing I criticize Kramer for lacking. I don't think he stops for a second to question the hate he puts out in the world. And I think that's why he's miserable. And I DO hate that he continues the negative barrage about gay men, these self-fulfilling prophecies that so many vulnerable people internalize and then repeat, because that's the level of discourse.

So frustrating to me.

[Kad]

Posted: 4/25/11 at 4:53pm

This is conflicting to me, as a young gay man.

Do I fight for equality? Am I angry? No, not really. Disappointed, more- constantly disappointed. I'm not an angry sort. I support those causes, yes, but have never really given much of my time or dedication. Is this a failing on my part? Maybe. Probably. I'm selfish.

But I'm one person. The gay community, from where I'm looking, is not made up of me. I see angry and dedicated people the nation over. I see a tight community. Is it the community that Kramer grew up knowing- **** no, and thank god because communities need to evolve. I see gay men accepted more and more. I see AIDS becoming more and more treatable. Will it ever be 'cured'? Doubtful, simply because of the complex nature of the virus. But managed enough to promise a long and comfortable life- definitely.

Education and prevention programs DO work. Teaching responsible sex ed WORKS. Look at Sweden, where the percentage of HIV+ people is wildly low, yet sex is NOT tabooed by a conservative society and people know the risks and how to manage them.

Part of the reason the AIDS crisis of the 80s occurred was because America thought, and still thinks, of sex as dirty and shameful and private. If the virus landed in the heterosexual community, well- who knows how different it would be, considering the nation's almost Victorian few of sex. That's why the most common infections in America are STDs, despite the fact they are easily and effectively treated and controlled. There is shame. And Larry Kramer is not helping that.

I know our community's history. I know the facts and the opinions and I can decide for myself how to act upon them. I don't need the outdated specter of Larry Kramer judging me, and neither do the young, scared gay kids who were not as fortunate as I was to grow up in a very liberal and accepting community.