The difficulty and reality of AIDS in our world today.

Please excuse me for the following rant. If you have no interest in reading yet another person screaming into the dark, then by all means just continue on about your business.

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I, for the most part, am a very compassionate and empathetic person. The journey of my own life has taught me not to judge too harshly the trials and tribulations of others. BUT, I am beyond all understanding - or even caring - as concerns young gay men who want to carry on as if reality doesn't exist.

I don't have many gay friends in my life at this point. Some, but not many. And you know why? Because all of the beautiful, talented, capable, vibrant and alive young gay men I knew in my youth are dead. Every single one of them. I went to so many funerals, and sat with so many families who had lost their loved ones, that I finally had enough.

I used to work with AIDS patients, but I had to stop. I dealt with just one too many men who really only lamented the fact that they couldn't ever do again what led to their predicament in the first place.

The fact that all this time has gone by, and all this death has occurred, and STILL there are many who want to carry on as if Babylon were Eden makes me beyond the scope of giving a damn.

I was there when it unfolded the first time, and it almost killed me - and I wasn't even sick. I WILL NOT participate again in the willful destruction of any lives.

Eventually, maybe those who refuse to accept what is will pull their heads out of their butts - or their sex partner's - and realize that there is CERTAINLY more to life than what exists in their crotch. Until that time, I couldn't care less if they live or die. I will save my time, energy and compassion for people who revere the precious gift of their lives.

It breaks my heart, Blue, it really does. SO pointless - but then, it was pointless the first time they wanted to act like they were invincible - or that it really didn't matter. It matters a GREAT deal.

By the way, I LOVE your current icon - one of the things I'm trembling with excitement for

DGrant, I am so sorry you had to suffer.

Thank you for your comments - it is unfortunate that it is still necessary. I hope that people will take heed and reform their ways.

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I think I can understand your need to rant. Moreover, I fail to understand why anyone (Note: I did not say gays) who cares one iota for their fellow human beings is not driven to anger and despair over this terrifying form of mass suicide.

Some points I picked up from the article:
Kaiser is quoted as saying "Gay men do not have the right to spread a debilitating and often fatal disease... a person who is H.I.V.-positive has no more right to unprotected intercourse than he has the right to put a bullet through another person's head,"

The first thought that came to my mind was hearing about a number of legal cases where an HIV-infected male was tried for attempted murder after raping a female. The rape was one indictment, the attempted murder through the spread of the disease was another. So why isn't the life of another male shown the same respect? If a man (or woman) who is AWARE that they are HIV-positive engages in unprotected sex with a partner of either sex, then aren't they guilty of attempted murder? Perhaps making that the law is the kind of serious action that must be taken before the people carrying the virus take it seriously.

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The article went on to say that 25% of all gay men in NYC had tried crystal meth in the last few months.

If that's true then I'm not sure if ANYTHING can be done to stop the spread of this disease. That kind of complete disregard for their own lives can only logically be extended to others. God help them - and us.
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"Walt Odets, a clinical psychologist and the author of "In the Shadow of the Epidemic: Being HIV-Negative in the Age of AIDS," said he thought such intervention smacked of a witch hunt.
He and others said it would be more effective to try to identify the underlying causes of drug abuse and self-destructive behavior, including the difficulty of living in a society that rejects committed gay relationships while condemning homosexuals for having sex outside those relationships. Gay men, he said, are using methamphetamines as an anti-depressant"

Until people like this get their heads out of the sand and face the stark reality of the situation, it's never going to get better.

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And I repeat - God help us all.

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Mamie - I actually agree IN THEORY with what Dr. Odets posits. But ultimately, I still believe MORE in the imperative of personal responsibility.

I'm thinking right now of Bill Cosby's recent tirade against the black community, exhorting them to take hold of their own destinies, instead of looking to lay the responsibility at someone else's feet. These young men have NO ONE to hold responsible but themselves.

And I happen to agree that someone who knowingly transmits this virus should be held liable.

And what's REALLY sad, Munk, is that this dance has been going on for almost a QUARTER of a CENTURY! Same thoughts, same excuses and same outcome.

Unfortunately, I entirely understand your plight, Munk

Go read your play and keep living your life - because THAT you are in charge of!

Aww... I thought this thread was about Kramer's assertion that Abe Lincoln was gay!

Munkus - if you are bored by reading the play, rent the movie THE INSPECTOR GENERAL with Danny Kaye. Same story - plus songs!

Thank you DGrant for your appropriate level of passion and outrage on this subj. Just seeing the NY Times cover story today gave me heartburn.

The supreme irony in the timing of this new case isn't lost on any of us. Gay people are fighting not to be viewed as 2nd class citizens in this society. America is currently bipolar about the impact of gay culture and gay people. On the one hand, quick to embrace the homosexual aesthetic in style--as arbiters of taste--and as masters of witty repartee. ("We don't run the world, we just design it!" carried to the max, complete with flowing cosmos and looking good in Prada.) To my mind, this is always "easy tolerance," since it allows gays a place at the (beautifully set) table, so long as they are pretty, witty, and can help you fix your living room or clean the detritus from your boring closet.

On the other, there is a widening fear of gay people seeking a classically "ordinary" place in society--as neighbors, as parents, as monogamous couples who commit to one another for life. Outside of NY, Miami, and the Castro (to name but 3), there is an America full of the latter type of gay men. People NOT invested in 'the scene,' but in carving out successful lives, professional and personal, with no more promiscuity and infidelity than exists in the straight world (i.e. to share the range of human experience with the same number of ups/downs--flaws.) Yes America -- some gay men are not only dull, they are boring, their goals and dreams painfully similar to those of everyone else.

Those "ordinary" people are in grave danger of being identified by the more public poster children for 'gay life' (a comparatively small sliver of the total homosexual population) -- the young urban gay male whose singular focus is sybaretic experience and living in the moment, their own role in their culture's struggles for equality be damned. As the larger community struggles for respect and to have minimal rights, it's time for the kind of hard look at the price being paid for the actions of those poster children. The lives and futures and rights of an entire, loving, portion of this society will be asked to pay for the actions of a small percentage. As many have observed, only the gay community can fix itself. But the future of the community's profile and place in this country's history is at stake. Those here who are older: Remember when gay people fought to not be identified with AIDS? Remember how powerful and postive that fight was? How sad that it might have been in vain.

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Updated On: 2/15/05 at 09:26 AM

how about a shock campaign? why doesn't gmhc or act up or somebody finance a multi million dollar national ad campaign showing photos of a young and vibrant gay man in various poses from his life with a voice over, "sex is so much better without condoms. the drugs can handle any symptoms even if do get something. i won't suffer anything for years. by that time they'll have a cure." then cut to the same man, fully symptomatic, at death's door, on his hospital bed saying, "it's not like i'll die or anything, right?" black screen. graphic, "it's not worth your life. use a condom. every single time."

it would of course necessitate finding someone who fit the bill who's willing to put their life out there as an open book. someone who's willing to be the poster child for what not to do. i dunno, maybe scare tactics don't work. maybe it'd backfire somehow, but at least people would talk about it. a national campaign like that would generate conversation at the very least and people talking about it is better than people whispering and not talking about it.

hell do a series of them with the tagline changed to personalize it to the person being portrayed. have an african american woman with the tagline showing that statistically they are fastest growing group of new infections. show one with a white couple and have the twist be that he's playing on the side and brought her home a present. add to the tagline, "because you really never know."

or am i horribly mistaken here?

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Updated On: 2/15/05 at 09:30 AM

yeah, see that's what i worried i would be attacked here for doing because as ya'll know, i'm in league with satan and his minions. i can understand that perspective, but if the problem is growing then shouldn't every option be on the table?

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DGrant - Thanks for posting that article. I'm also shocked at how many guys are willing to risk their lives as well as the lives of others to get off. Munkustrap, I do believe there are those men out there who are infected without knowing it, but it's not like they had NO IDEA after 20 years that they could get infected from participating in unprotected sex, so I do have a very difficult time sympathizing with those who engage recklessly in that activity. I think the idea of intervention is great. Even Queer as Folk behaves as if gays have some sort of RIGHT to promiscuity and public sex that does not apply to the rest of the world. Sorry girls, but it ain't true. Is it a direct link to this new strain of HIV, maybe not, but it is highly influential in the engagement of activity that leads to unprotected sex. I know it's not "cool" to be somewhat prudish about circuit parties and the average float at the Pride Parade, but we're getting to the point where there is less and less to be proud about. We speak of contempt when a straight person claims AIDS is a "gay disease", but we have made it a staple in nearly every piece of gay art, music and literature since the mid-80s and STILL we have the despicable hypocrasy to continue the spread of the disease (as well as an all-new strain) as if it is some sort of daring sporting event. It's no wonder the majority refuses to accept us. Why would they? I say, close down the baths and the sex parties. What have we done to deserve them?

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