The difficulty and reality of AIDS in our world today. — Page 5

"I have met people who are positive and drug and alcohol addicted and don't remember what they do or don't do. I have met people who are not equiped to deal with their status and who choose to ignore the consequences of their actions."

That is exactly why I preach taking responsibility for yourself. I've always been against the idea of asking before sleeping with someone (dating with the possibility of a realtionship is different)because you can't trust that everyone is willing to be honest and you can't make a detrmination about your risk level based on someone's self report. You need toa ssume taht everyone is positive.
As far as the guys who answer your questions indirectly. I imagine that if someone is attracted to you and wants to sleep with you, it must be hard to tell them and wait to see if they back a few steps away. Sometimes, just saying the words is extremely difficult and instead, someone will make the kind of comments you quoted in your earlier post. They try to get the point across without saying it becasue they have difficulty saying it. You can't assume that they are always one of the obviously, mentally ill people who want to speard disease. If you haven't had to say those words about yourself, you can't possibly how difficult it is and how you will try to make a point while avoiding certain words.

Also, I can't say this enough for all the little kids reading....sometimes people do not know yet that they are positive. They be the nicest, most sincere person in the world but they may be unaware and when they say they are negative, they may at that time be believing it.

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"Also, I can't say this enough for all the little kids reading....sometimes people do not know yet that they are positive. They be the nicest, most sincere person in the world but they may be unaware and when they say they are negative, they may at that time be believing it."

That's important enough to appear twice.

It's threads like this that hooked me on the OT board in the first place. I can't tell you how happy I am to see a thread of substance taking root again.

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I prefer to think of it as a "challenge" rather than a "shortcoming." And this whole thread describes the tricky waters that people who are in communities that are hard hit by HIV have to navigate every day.

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You're totally missing the point I've tried to make in a number of ways so...forget it. I'm not surprised because so many gay men don't want to get the point.
And yes, being positive and having to admit that, even to yourself, is much more difficult than admitting that you pick your nose or cheat on your wife. It's not an easy thing to say to anyone at first. It took a year before I could even use certain words even with my partner. Until that time, I could only discuss it in euphamistic terms. We knew what we were discussing but, I could not say HIV in refrence to myself. Now, obviously, I can tell the world and not give a S**T what anyone thinks. Which is good because there are people out there who think it's as easy to deal with as having six toes.

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Interesting article. Thought those reading and/or posting on this thread might find it of some interest. Basically what it's saying is... let's all calm down and keep things in perspective.

excerpt from "Anatomy of a Superbug":

"No doubt, the gay community needs to start having some serious conversations about crystal meth and its impact on HIV risk behaviors. We need to face up to the issue of personal responsibility. But the government has a boatload of things to face up to as well. The government, not the gay community, has radically cut funding for HIV educational efforts. The government, not the gay community, has left prevention efforts in shambles with its demand to address sexually active adults with the same kind of "abstinence only" messages it crafts for 8-year-old schoolgirls. The government, not the gay community, fails to provide treatment for people with substance abuse problems, preferring to spend vastly more money putting them all in prison. So yeah, there are some real serious issues here. Let's put all of them on the table, not just the ones the government likes to use to persecute gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender people and almost anyone living in poverty."

Link to full article:

http://www.gay.com/news/roundups/package.html?coll=news_feature&sernum=1063&page=1

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Updated On: 2/16/05 at 12:34 PM

SOMMS, proceed as if the person just told you that he has full blown AIDS. That is how you proceed. You must assume that anyone you come in contact with is infected. It is YOUR responsibility to protect YOURSELF. Why would you presume that a person who is so horny, maybe high/maybe not, who is willing to have unsafe sex with you, someone he just met, would tell you the truth?
Perhaps you are one of those people who favors Tattooing anyone who tests positive with a big HIV on thier privates. Then you would know for sure.

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Please read my previous posts; I have already stated that is how I proceed. There are a lot of assumptions about my sexual decision making process being batted about here. You don't know what decisions I make when I find out that someone is positive. You don't know if I even have sex at all. What I have said is that if you know that you are positive, I feel that you should disclose that to me. You don't need to tell the world your status, just me, the person whose life you might be affecting. Why is it difficult to be honest?

Precisely, SG. I have faced my mortality. I have been held up at gunpoint, I was gay-bashed within an inch of my life by five men (convicted murderers and rapists), I am a cancer survivor, I made a very weak attempt at suicide in my teens because I was gay. I've lost more people to AIDS that any one person should have to. But through it all, the thing that I have always been is honest. Honest about who I am, what I feel and what I expect of others. It's the one characteristic that I revere above all else. Honesty will set you free.

I'm disapointed that you find what I said to be "cold" and the other "issues" I presented as minor, Orion. I know exactly the first thought that went through my head when I was given my diagnosis ... I'll beat this, just one more challenge to overcome. I have always had a positive approach to my life. You might want to read my tag line. The other that I subscribe to is "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a ride!'" Just a different approach.