This was just sarcastic title, but people did not see it that way..

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:14pm

Updated On: 8/4/05 at 05:14 PM

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:22pm

That was pretty harsh of her. Some people just don't think. Maybe you should sit down with her and tell her how hurtful that was to you. Perhaps if you calmly remind her that she had always said that she couldn't afford to fufill one of your dreams, but was able to refufill one of her own, it might help her see how that we decisions was irrational and hurtful to you.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:25pm

Well, like I said I am not mad or anything. I mean, she is a grown woman who earns her pay and can do whatever she wants with it. And it is not like how it was a few months ago when I lived at home. I am now married and have my own life to live, but I still get moments of body spasms when I think about it. But, darn-it.....I will get to NYC one day.

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:35pm

Oh ok, I thought you were still living at home. Well then live and let live. Look at it this way, when you go to NYC it will be on your money adn your terms and you can see ever "Shabby" theater you want to go see. Best of luck dear.

[bythesword84]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:43pm

You will come to NYC and you will hang out with me, woo!

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:43pm

Spider, I know how you feel. I think parents just shouldn't raise children. The same thing happened to me many years ago when my mother went to Israel with my brother. He paid his own way and I could not. But I decided not to victimize myself and just let it go. I will go some day on my own.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 5:58pm

Ya know...sometimes it is up to the child to grow up and fulfill his/her own dreams, financially speaking. Spider...I *do* understand your sentiment, but consider how it is more *doable* for your mom to afford to go to NYC now that (a) you aren't living at home AND (b)she only has to pay her own way. You also didn't mention whether you had siblings who would also have expected to be included or else to take a comparable trip. If a parent has to wait until adulthood to do something, isn't it reasonable that a child might have to wait, as well? I suspect your mom, now more in a position to go away with her friends, is telling you details not to rub your face in it, but because she know that this is a place you are interested in. Try to see it from her perspective.

Same thing, Yenta. I understand your disappointment, but not your anger. You said that your brother paid his own way. Are you saying that your mom shouldn't have gone to Israel if she couldn't afford to (or chose not to) pay your way?

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 6:00pm

iflitifloat --Like I said, I am not mad or anything. I was just venting because she got to go to NYC and I didn't.

EDIT: My wife and I are planning to go to NYC for a week next summer if we can save up enough money.

Updated On: 7/31/05 at 06:00 PM

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 6:03pm

I am, as a mother, just being defensive.

EDIT: And Spider...you've gotta know that we will all be on the lookout for good deals and liberal with cost saving advice when you start planning the specifics of your trip!

Updated On: 7/31/05 at 06:03 PM

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 6:04pm

hahaha....understood.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 7:28pm

iflit, very well put.

spider.....can you go in say late March or April? The flights should be cheaper then.

also......if you're not mad, change your subject......she certainly didn't betray you when you don't live with her, and she used her own money she earned. That is not a betrayal.
And actually....it's pretty darn nice of her to call and ask what you would like pictures of, when you think about it.

Updated On: 7/31/05 at 07:28 PM

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 7:31pm

No flit..what I meant to sat that being disabled makes it difficult for me to afford a trip to Israel. It was after my mother returned that she said she wished she had paid my way so we could go together.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 7:53pm

I'm sorry, Yenta. I didn't realize that you had been disabled for many years. Just reading between the lines of your cumulative posts , it sounds like your relationship with your mom has been very complicated for a very long time.

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 8:06pm

It is very complicated Iflit. I am the adult and she is the child. A few weeks ago, she was severely dehyrated from a virus at the age of 74. She was also recuperating from a brokem knee. I called her and she was incoherant. I am in CT and she is in CA. I called her doctor and gave him the symptoms , etc. He made arrangement for her to be admitted to the hospital within the hour. My brother called me and said I had no right to do that. He lives 8 miles from her and hadnt spoken or visited in days. Again, I was the adult.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 8:21pm

Yeah. That's kinda what happens a lot of times. I am dealing with a situation that has a lot of similarities. It's very difficult "taking care of" an elderly parent who is hundreds of miles away. Not easy at all.

[Sumofallthings]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 8:31pm

Read Stephen Sondheims biograph by Meryle Secrest for a real expose on betrayal by a mother!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 8:35pm

i think it's sweet that she called to ask what marquees you'd like her to take photos of.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 8:48pm

Say, papa, you're out in my mom's neck of the woods. Wanna take a little ride and check on her for me?

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 8:50pm

can i go tomorrow, we road tripped out to put-in-bay and points northwest today and i'm recovering with codeine and scotchie scotch scotch.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 11:01pm

BUMP

Like, I could pass up a thread with this title.

Spider, sometimes, you just can't help who gave birth to you.

Hey, at least she remembered that you liked Broadway, and called you. But I can understand the feeling of, "Oh, yea, right....thanks" when she asked you which billboards to take pictures of.

Just be happy she didn't call from inside the theatre...that would have made everyone mad (AND, proved she never loved you because she SAW a show without you)

Consider this post a letter that was burned after I finished.

[etoile]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 11:31pm

Whoa...betrayal?????

BETRAYAL!

Did you actually use that word to describe the woman who gave birth to you because...fvcking boohoo...no one took you on a road trip?

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

I am at a loss to see any betrayal on the part of the woman feed you, burped you, wiped your butt, wiped your nose, clothed you, and made a home for you. I do sense a betrayal on the part of a son who feels somehow he was entitled to a trip. If you wanted a vacation in NYC you should have worked and saved your pennies rather than expect one be handed to you. If you wanted a trip to NYC then you prioritize and make it happen.

I have no patience for someone who whines about what they don't have, what they're not given. Work for it!

Then be thankful that you:
A.) Have a mother
B.) Have a mother that remembers your interest

Then pray you don't spawn an ungrateful child. Imagine how she would feel if she read your opening remarks.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 11:33pm

i love it when etoile goes all gooey and sentimental.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 11:34pm

I know. That should be a Hallmark card, what she wrote.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 11:36pm

but, like, etoile, did you totally miss the part where he said he wasn't like mad or anything?

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 7/31/05 at 11:38pm

When my mother ran off with my husband - now THAT was a betrayal, no?