Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
I've never done any serious soul-searching. This could get interesting.
GAH! F*CK OFF, PEOPLE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR!!
Well it's time you started..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
DUH!!! of course I am!! Was there any doubt..
Here is an excerpt from a journal entry I made a year and a half ago.. It might do you good to read it..
I'm tired of waiting for another day to pass to do all those things I want and need to do. Silence and inexpression are the chains that bind us all to our misery. Well I'm used to misery and it's often all too comfortable in the fact that I know how to deal with it. Happiness however is something we all strive for and want, but most of us are too afraid to reach out and grasp it. We're too busy caught up in the what if's of life.. Well what if something better comes along, what if this isn't my destiny! Well guess what... What if I've missed my chance? Maybe if I take my head out of the clouds for 5 seconds, I just might realize what is right in front of me.. an infinant potential for happiness.
I'm tired of standing on this empty shore waiting for my ship to come in damn it! Maybe the ship with never come in.. But I'm not gonna wait for it anymore, I'm going put my back to the shore and head out to sea. I'll swim to my ship if I have to, or die trying. Atleast then I can't sit back and say well if only I had done this or that. But maybe that's the point.. we all stand around staring into the horizon waiting for our ship thinking it's going to come right up to the shore and pick us up. Well did we ever stop to think that maybe the water is just a little ( or a lot) too shallow near the shore where we continue to stand always waiting? Maybe we are supposed to swim out and meet it. I'm learning that nothing worth having has ever come easily.
I look at a child so innocent and pure with their eyes full of wonder. But if you look carefully you wont see fear or I can't in their eyes. All you will see is I can! You try telling a 3 year old that she can't be a princess or he can't be a super hero, by golly they can! And it's sad how cruel the world can be, beating that hope and wonder and innocence out. It's not any of us that first said I can't, it's the world around us telling us we can't, that we should be afraid. That we should resolve to live with what we are given and that it's all we deserve. Well you know what? We are all better than that, and we CAN do anything, if only we put away the fear long enough to try.
I'm going to take the chances now instead of waiting until the time is right. The right time is now, cuz I may never get another chance. And starting right now I'm not going to be afraid of what I don't know. Sure sometimes waiting is appropriate, and patience is a virtue but there comes a point when you shouldn't be passive any longer, and for me that time is now. I'm standing with my feet in the ocean ready to swim, and on the edge of a cliff ready to fly! Fear is useless and I am done with it. Today I resolve to be vocal, to be open, and to be honest!
If you love someone, tell them! You never know if you will have the chance again.. And even if they don't love you back the way you hope, know that telling them you love them will probably have touched them. It will atleast make them feel good.
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
Never any doubt, my dear, never any doubt.
Thanks for that. It made a lot of sense.
Good NEVER doubt me!!
and on that note.. I feel the need to reaffirm my Bitch status by crushing someone..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
If you try to crush me, I'll more than likely have an enotional breakdown... just so you know.
I wasn't refering to you hun.. I meant in general.. I was getting to sappy and soft hearted.. now I need to ruin someones day..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
Where's your boss? That seems like a favourite hobby of yours. Then again, there's always my annoying door-knockers!! Can you imagine how scared they'd be if a strange person answered the door and yelled or glared at them? It would cheer me up!
so you are calling me strange.. hmmm
I'm sure I will find someone to squash.. laugh as all the joy and hope escapes them.. yeah that would make me happy..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
Of course EVIL Cam has returned.. She only stepped out momentarily for hot chocolate and that imposter snuck in to help you out..
I claim no resposibility for the stupidity the imposter spewed in my absence..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
Now, now, don't say that. That 'imposter' got me all emotional and thinking! It was just what I needed!
Mmm, hot chocolate...
Well good for her for being helpful.. I still refuse to take responsibility for what she said..
Yes mmm hot chocolate.. I've had 3 cups.. it's freezing in here today and I forgot my sweatshirt, so all I'm wearing is a t-shirt
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
They turned my heat back on-- full force! I'm dying in here!
I turned the air off in here.. it's getting better.. I'm not freezing with goose bumps anymore..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
nope it's all sunshine here..
yesterday was rainy.. but we have sun today..
hehehehe..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
Mmmm, sun. That sounds so nice. Actually, it was nice and sunny this morning, but I just looked out the window and it's clouded over and snowing, rather unpleasantly.
Aww I'm sorry.. that does suck.. weird as this may sound I enjoyed watching the snow fall my last night in Hershey.. I just sat by the window and watched it for a while.. I probably only appreciate it because I dont live in it..
Good morning bitches and Cam! What happened to you all of a sudden? You've gone all...*dusgusted* soft...on me! Sick, twisted, NON-Bitch! *oooooh*
Here, lash out at me. You know you can do it. What happened to the charming, evil, talented, malicious, catty Cam of yesteryear? None of this "feel good, follow your heart" crap!!
*kicks cam in the face to make the transition a bit easier*
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
Yeah, it can be really pretty at times. But after months and months, it loses its appeal!
**beats Tiff to a bloody pulp with a crowbar**
F*ck off you little Bitch!! I told you all I dont take resposibility for that.. I went to get hot chocolate and some F*cking imposter decided to post all soft and Sh!t.. I'm pissed..
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
F*CK you, Tiff! It really helped, okay? *smacks Tiff, hard*
*curls into a ball and cries* I'm sowwy Cam! I was just trying to hewp! Don't hurt me! I'm sowwy!
*clings onto Cam*
I wuv you and I don't want to see you change! It scawes me.
*grabs crowbar and hits Cam behind the knees and neck*
TRAMP!!
*limps away*
YA WANNA PIECE, ALLIE?? HUH??
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