Virginia school district considers ban on cross-dressing

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 6:39pm

How do you guys feel about this?

I actually kinda agree with the School Board because I do think that the male students who do cross-dress are putting themselves in danger. I think that girl students can easily get away with it...but the boys are a different story.

While it does rob them of self-expression, I do see the safety concerns.

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10374850-virginia-school-district-considers-ban-on-cross-dressing

Updated On: 2/10/12 at 06:39 PM

[madbrian]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 6:51pm

I completely disagree. If there is a problem with ignorance in the district, it should be addressed. My daughter graduated from high school in 2005, and there was a boy in her class who dressed like a woman 24/7. Believe it or not, I didn't learn about this until I saw her yearbook. It just wasn't an issue. Giving in to ignorance is never the solution.

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 6:57pm

Well I do see how it could be bigotry in disguise too, and I have no doubt the boys who do cross-dress are picked on anyways but...could cross-dressing lead to more?

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 7:18pm

I actually kinda agree with the School Board because I do think that the male students who do cross-dress are putting themselves in danger.

Fear shouldn't be the reason not to do anything. Ever. If you think that by doing it you are putting yourself in danger, then the issue is not the cross-dressing, but the community, the environment.

With this reasoning, most things should be banned. Sometimes we just have to fight our battles and I don't mean violence.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 7:51pm

Putting aside the issue of potential bigotry for a second, I understand where the school board is coming from and think they are making the right choice.

If the school board believes that this could lead to violence then banning it is the best course of action. Look at what happened with Lawrence King. The father had asked (albeit after the fact and out of anger) why it was that the school didn't stop his son from dressing in drag. Now granted Mr.King should have taken some accountability as the parent but still. If there is any violance on the matter on either end because of this then the school is held accountable. By enforcing a dress code, this deminishes the chance of violence happening. And that is all the school cared about. No violence means no mess for the school board to clean up later on.

[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 8:10pm

"By enforcing a dress code, this deminishes the chance of violence happening."

NO, IT DOESN"T.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/10/12 at 8:14pm

What tiny said.

[Kad]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 1:01am

It also sends this message: WHAT YOU WANT TO BE IS WRONG.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 1:38am

You're right, by enforcing a dress code it doesn't diminish the chance of violence happening, the kid already came to school dressed in drag once and therefor the sad (but true fact) is that just by doing it once the kid already made himself a target regardless of how he comes dressed to school.

I think that the issue of school aged kids coming out is something that is new. And, educators are unsure of how to deal with it. I am not saying that bullying is right or that it is something that i condone. However, bullying has always gone on in some form or another since before this issue rose to the surface.

I understand that you feel that the kid should be able to come to school dressed however he wants to. But, there has to be a line of what is acceptable for school and what's okay for personal time. At most jobs, if a guy showed up to work in drag, they would ask him to change, and if he refused, then he could get fried. And, truth be told, from a legal standpoint there is nothing that the guy could do about it. If they fired him for being gay, sure, that is wrongful termination right there. But, if they fired him for being in drag, then there is nothing that the guy can do about it. Being gay is a civil right and one that can't warrant termination of employment. However, wanting to dress in drag isn't and can warrant termination. I am not at all saying that I agree with the way things are set up, but that is the way things are.

Furthermore, I do think that it is an awful thing that there are kids in high school who commit suicide due to the fact that they are bullied for being gay. And, that it is a problem that needs to be fixed. But, while you can make rules about what a school deems acceptable on the subject, doesn't mean that a student is going to agree with what their school administration said or think it is right. So, how do you suggest that the problem be solved?

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 2:01am

..could cross-dressing lead to more?

More what?

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 10:14am

More violence and trouble for the those individuals who dress up.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 10:18am

I get the feeling that a majority of the posters here wish that a school (regardless of where it is) would automatically punish someone for being mean and cruel to someone who is gay right away with no questions asked. That may be great in a dream world. However, like it or not, that is not realistic at all.

Situations such as this one put school's in a very awkward position. As someone that works in a school, I can tell you that yes, violence is wrong. But, at the same time, a kid has to also be aware of what he is doing that might cause someone to act a particular way, regardless of how wrong it is.

I think that school board members feel that by a kid coming out in school, that they are already painting a target on their back. And, to come to school in drag, makes that target even bigger.

Children in today's world are taught at a very young age the difference between what little boys/babies do verses what big kids do, what is meant for girls and what is meant for boys. I work with pre schoolers and the amount of times I hear things like that on the course of a daily basis makes me cringe.

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 10:29am

I'm an assistant teacher in Special Education for middle school in TX, and I at 27 still put up with those remarks!!!

When I first started this year these kids said behind my back as I was walking to my car, "Excuse me, Mam...Mam?" It hurt...so I can only imagine what it would be like for the students.

I would think that it would be getting easier for kids today teased about being perceived as gay (and I say perceived because only the kids themselves can answer that)...but I don't know.

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 11:08am

See, this is one time I am going to side with school boards. It isn't telling kids that "what they want to be/what they are" is wrong, it's telling them that the world isn't a safe place and you have to consider what all the consequences are for your actions. I view it as a way of protecting the students.

I was one of those students in high school who would have worn makeup and put on women's clothing (I went through a phase where I thought that's what I wanted to do), but it would have gotten my ass handed to me on multiple occasions, the fact I couldn't kept me pretty protected for that reason.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 12:17pm

I have to agree here. In Middle School I remember you could be handed your ass for not wearing the proper sneakers! I too want to live in a Utopia where Kids can dress and act as they like without fear of violence and retrobution. However the time we live in right now is not that Utopia.
Dress codes can very well be an attempt at stemming future problems.
I am with the school board on this one.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 12:33pm

Husk, you're right. I don't believe that bullying is right, but at the same time it never comes out of nowhere. Sure, there are some things that kids get bullied for that is out of their control and things that they shouldn't be bullied for. But, at the same time, I always feel that it takes two to tango.

MTVMANN,

I work at a pre school, and I am not a skinny dude. And, I have been hit with every fat joke known to man (and some new ones) and it still hurts. And, these are little kids we're talking about. Furthermore, when I was in high school, kids thought that enjoying musicals automatically meant that you had to be gay. Therefore, despite the fact that I was/am straight, they still gave me hell and kicked me around a few times because they felt that I must be gay due to my enjoyment of musical theatre. And, the irony of this is that my high school was/is located in Chelsea.

The one thing I realized is that yes, it sucks to be called negative things regardless of who the person saying them is. However, at the same time they are just words. Sure, words hurt but it's not like someone is physically punching you. You can easily let it roll of your shoulders and move on and take the high road always. Might not be easy but is doable.

[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 1:38pm

Instead of dealing with the perpetrators of bullying/crime, you would RATHER "blame the victim"? Sooo, if a chick wore a mini skirt, she's sorta asking to be harassed/raped/bullied?

The schools should get on the bully and his family and friends' cases' immdeiately and punish THEIR punk ass behavior. Seriously, how do you think the mindset of such disgusting/criminal behaviours will change if the schools don't deal with it? Suspension, expulsion, or some other way (community svce and lecture at a LGBT place) of addressing the PerpETRATors.

Lkewise, if a kid is, say, fat, or has frizzy hair, or is poor, (and gets mercilessly bullied for THOSE things etc.), you're gonna "blame the victim"? INstalling a dress code, IMHO, is just avoidance. Has been tried before for eons, and it doesn't work.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 2:28pm

I think that comparing freedom of self expression to rape is a bit much, don't you? It is clear to me that you don't really understand how school's can legally work. I say this because you're making a very complicated issue overly black and white, not understanding the legal proceedings, and only wanting to punish everyone who YOU think is wrong and nothing else.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 2:38pm

Yeah, I think maybe what we should be focusing on is how so many people just seem to think that that violence and abuse of students is just something to be accepted.

[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 3:26pm

"I think that comparing freedom of self expression to rape is a bit much, don't you?"

No, I don't. It's a fundamental misperception. If you're minding your own business, doing nothing, and are being bullied, attacked, verbally abused, etc., the PERPETRATOR is the problem, NOT YOU. Get used to the world. PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.
(If one is cross dressing in school, it is NEVER an incitement to anybody or anything) - it's ONLY a problem to the narrow minded, self loathing, uneducated idiots, who can't mind their own ****ing business.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 4:19pm

It is VERY laughable that you would consider a guy not allowed to wear a dress to school, to be akin to a woman being beaten up and forced to have sex against her will. To me, that is downplaying rape which is a far more worse crime then allowing a guy to wear a dress or not.

The MAJOR difference between rape and cross dressing is that in any case of rape, the woman in question is not doing anything wrong. I am not saying though, that with cross dressing, the guy in high school is asking to get beaten up. But, at the same time, he should at least be aware of that which he is doing or about to do.

It doesn't take a rocket science to realize that if you're going to dress in a way that isn't the norm, in a place like high school nonetheless, kids are going to act harshly against that.

Here is a better example as to why I think that comparing rape to self expression is utterly laughable. Let's say that you read a story of a guy in your town, his form of self expression is dressing up as Hitler. However, when he walked into his local synagogue dressed in said costume, members of the synagogue beat him up. Why? After all, he was only expressing himself.

I don't think that the kid should be beat up for putting on a dress. However, he should also realize the can of worms he is opening up in the process just by doing so.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 4:56pm

If the school board was truly concerned with bullying and "distractions" based on how people dress, they would just get uniforms for everyone. The trans or gay or whoever kids would be wearing unisex polos, khakis and sweaters, same as everyone else.

That's not what this is. This is the school board blaming the victims and saying that THEY are the problem and the disruption, not the bullies. This only further serves to make an example of them.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 5:12pm

Winston, what's laughable is that you think that was the comparison being made.

The comparison is not between rape and not being allowed to wear a dress.The comparison is about VIOLENCE being visited upon someone for the way they're dressed--"provacatively" in the girl's case, as a female in the boy's.

You understand that rape = violence, yes?

[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 5:14pm

"But, at the same time, he should at least be aware of that which he is doing or about to do."
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What is he doing? Getting dressed?
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"It doesn't take a rocket science to realize that if you're going to dress in a way that isn't the norm, in a place like high school nonetheless, kids are going to act harshly against that".
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What makes you think that the way YOU dress is normal, and his way is NOT normal? Who are you to judge what's normal, thusly subjecting another person to "kids who are going to act harshly against that."
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Not if they were brought up RIGHT - to RESPECT other peoples' differences. These bullies need a lot of education on what it means to be EMPATHETIC and caring.
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Phyllis - Help me out here. lol. Am I missing something?

Winston sounds a bit like Goth, or Santorum. No disrespect intended, Winston.I get the point, Though I just totally disagree with your assessment.
-------------------------------------------------------------- _"members of the synagogue beat him up. Why? After all, he was only expressing himself."
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What?? Ridiculous analogy. I am a Jew, and it would NEVER occur to me to beat up a person wearing a Nazi uniform.or any person, for that matter Only people with LOW SELF ESTEEM bully other people..
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[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 2/11/12 at 5:19pm

Thanks for illucidating my point, ORANGE and REGGIE....