What Do You Guys Think? (adult/minor relationship) — Page 3

Bustinloose, I'm 38 (or so)- I'm up for it!

I'm a straight female adult... but the age thing rings true no matter what gender/orentation, so I'm gonna comment... From experience.

It is completely possible for a person to fall for someone much older or much younger. I think both parties have an obligation to themselves to wait (if the younger party isn't legal that's where you hit the really grey area) and see if there really is something there or it's just an attraction... Im a firm believer in building a strong friendship first and then going from there. If you're unable to sustain a friendship with the other person, then the reality of a relationship is really just a pipe dream on your part.

A lot of you have said someone younger is like dating a child and someone older is like dating a parent... I truly believe it depends on the individuals involved. I felt the exact same way until I was in that position myself. I'll share a short (generalized) story... When I was 17 I met, and completely fell for a man 25 years my senior. I had no idea of his age when we met (nor did he have any idea of mine), but we hit it off, became friends and I wrote my feelings off as a silly crush. Years later (when I was already a legal adult) I found out he had a thing for me as well and we attempted a relationship. For many reasons, it didn't work -- not because we didn't want it to, but moreso because of many outside influences..... To this day we have an amazingly strong friendship and I can honestly say he's one of my best friends. People look at me like Im crazy when I say that but it is true.

I used to think we should have attempted a relationship earlier on in the time we knew each other but I now realize it would have been absurd. I would have been hurt, we would have lost the friendship and I'd probably be bitter about the entire thing.

In any event, I guess what Im saying is if this guy really feels something for you, he'll be willing to wait till you're a little older... if not, then you know you're just a notch on the bedpost. If that's all you're looking for, go for it, but I do not recommend it in the slightest.

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There are alot of men (gay men) out there who get off on dating younger guys. I see 40, 50 year olds dating guys barely out of their teens and in their early twenties and although it really isn't any of my business I am curious what they possibly have in common.

I never was into younger guys. I've always been with guys that were either my age or slightly older whereas the girls I've dated have been either my age or slightly younger.

Anyway I just wanted to write to ljay and let him know that if he doesn't know this person (from what I'm reading I'm thinking it's an internet connection) not to take a chance on meeting this person. Don't put yourself into a situation you will regret later. Ultimately the final decision is up to you.

Updated On: 7/19/05 at 04:32 PM

Oh...you've DATED people you've met online? See I just...well...uh...

I'm just gonna go touch my tit with my toe.

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He friggin' licked you?!!!! WTF!!!
Damn some people are just "off"...

...just my coupla cents...I think that, if you are asking advice ljay, then you may not be ready for this. That said, I think it is great that you could ask the men and women on here who have been thru it...
Everyone has been very caring and I think it is great.

btw, I am also kind of icked out by the online thing, as it seems he was looking for a 17 yo...
Best of luck, kitten!

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Damn that's sick CJR. There's a time and a place for licking and out on a date isn't one of them.

My first was a teacher. I was a Sophomore, he was 38 and attached . I was always made aware that nothing would ever come of it other than the physical. It was a 5 year experience that toughened me up, but I always felt so bad. His lover also went after me. Not sure who they were fooling. Except me. I should have never been put in that situation at that age. And being young, and just out, I was foolish enough not to know better and reveled in the attention. And wanting attention is totally the wrong reason. I know that now and have not suffered having gone through it. I hope the next 16-17 year old is that lucky. I am now in a relationship that has lasted longer than the age I was when that happened. I hope it happens for you also. Don't settle for being the flavor of the night. Be happy.

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Updated On: 7/21/05 at 09:57 PM