What Does The Word "Queer" Mean To You?

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:13am

I got into an interesting discussion about this today and was wondering what your thoughts were on it.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:16am

I do want to add that the reason why I did not put my own thoughts on this is because I'm still trying to figure it out. The simple fact of the matter is I do not know.

[C is for Company]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:20am

"Isn't it rich
Isn't it queer?"

In typical context, or at least commonly used back then to describe queer, I would say 'strange'. However, in reference to gays, I don't know why they would be referred to that way. I've met some pretty strange "queers," but I disagree that that word should be applied to homosexuality as I see it takes on a derrogatory pretense.

edit; I don't mean to sound naive, but I believe the only way that it be used in terms of 'them gays' would be by those who would also feel it acceptable to label them as "Fags" and "Sissies." I really find the word pretty hateful and coming equipped with a non-accepting perspective. The only other way I could see it being used is by gays who use the word themselves, which brings up the debate we also see in the black community using the "N-Word."

Updated On: 3/5/07 at 01:20 AM

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:23am

Yeah but I know a lot of gays who identify themselves as "queer" in a completely non-derogatory sense...

[C is for Company]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:26am

Yeah, there is nothing against being "different," but in the context that I see the word used more often is by nasty, ignorant people and that word just leaves bitterness when said.

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:26am

1. strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2. of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3. not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.

Perhaps I'm a "bad" homosexual, but I prefer to use queer in it's original context. (I have about 8 million jokes that I use in it's stead, but I make sure that most everyone knows from 1000 feet. The only people that don't know are incredibly dense and I don't care to associate much with them anyway. Not that it hasn't made for a 'Honcho' moment or two.)

[Mother's Younger Brother]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:15am

Nah, I'm with you, WW. I've never been a fan of the word "queer," in the gay sense. To me, it sounds like "odd," or "strange," or "weird," and has a negative, slightly antiquated, connotation.

And while we're at it...I can't stand the gay use of the word "lover" either. It sounds sleezy and out-dated.

[Kringas]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:17am

And while we're at it...I can't stand the gay use of the word "lover" either. It sounds sleezy and out-dated.

I'll see your "lover" and raise you "partner." I know it's the preferred term for a lot of folks, but to me it just sounds like someone you've entered into a business arrangement with.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:18am

i use it predominantly in its original context unless i can see a way to get a laugh or a sneer or a gasp out of another usage.

[tazber]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:19am

To me queer sounds like an old fashioned way of referring to gay men. I think it was used more frequently in pre-stonewall days.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:28am

to me it only means odd, although I rarely hear anyone use the word anymore.

[RadiGal2]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:30am

Up until I started watching Queer as Folk I'm not sure I had ever associated the word with homosexuality. One of the professors with whom I have developed a professional and friendly relationship over the past few years-- we began working on a Harry Potter academic piece and in out literature review there are numerous paper which explore what she terms 'Queer' theory. She is a lesbian so we had a discussion about it; she does not see it as derogatory and eventually I decided if ever a term applied to me it seems like queer is the closest to the way I see myself.

However, I have also come to understand that it is a personal standard and/or understanding of the word so I would not actively call anyone else queer unless they donned it first.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 11:31am

I can't hear "lover" anymore without seeing Diane's (LITTLE DOG LAUGHED)take on it.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 12:49pm

Mother'sYB and Kringas, so is it just boyfriend or girlfriend?

[Mother's Younger Brother]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 12:51pm

Well, I'll admit that I've used the word "partner" in the past, since "boyfriend" felt too non-committal and juvenile. In my current relationship, though, I tend to use the word "boyfriend" because it just feels right, so I guess it all depends.

I'd rather just use the word "husband," of course (which I do, in my own circle of friends).

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 12:58pm

we only use the word partner.
Both of us feel "husband" is an emulation of the straight ideal of marriage, and for us that does not work although we support gay marriage for those who are so inclined.
I have only used boyfriend when I was single and had a boyfriend.
I hate domestic partner as it sounds like a pet, and I really hate significant other as it sound so mechanical, and the inference is that there is an insignificant other somewhere.

Everytime I hear the word "lover" I hear Carrie saying it in Sex in the City.......never liked that word.

It's interesting to see how we all differ

[avab802]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:08pm

I usually use "partner." A lot of older (and some not so old) straight women use "girlfriend" to refer to their female friends, so I feel like "partner" gets the point across better. I've never used "lover." Like someone else said, it sounds a bit sleazy to me.

[Kringas]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:08pm

Mother'sYB and Kringas, so is it just boyfriend or girlfriend?

Yeah, for me it is, chita. I know other people prefer different words, but boyfriend works fine for me.

[lildogs]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:19pm

Queer is for the 70s Castro/real cocaine/Stonewall Class of '69 set...

Partner is for the Hamptons gays with equity and esrow and whatnot...

Lover is only used to refer to lesbians in sitcoms

I use husband only in a joking sense

I'd use boyfriend if I had one.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:22pm

Ex-to-be and Ex works for me.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:38pm

hehe son, don't forget DirtyRottenEx......we all have at least one of those

[lildogs]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:38pm

How about Mr. Right Now and Mr. Later Today?

[AC126748]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:54pm

I just saw Some Men yesterday, and there was a pretty astute scene in the play that pertains to this discussion. In the scene, two young gay men (students of gender studies) interview an older gay couple who had lived through Stonewall et al about what it was like to be gay back when most people were still very much in the closet. The older gay couple objected to the younger gays referring to themselves as "queers". To them, the word would always have a negative connotation, even if it had been "reclaimed" by the gay community.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 1:59pm

Queer is actually the academic term used for gay studies/theory.

"Queer theory" is a flourishing area of study that I did most of my thesis work on -- back when I was in grad school. The reclaiming effect of the word is something rhetorical theorists have concluded is the best way to deal with name-calling. If you really mean "names will never hurt me", then why not use those same names to refer to yourself? It is also a way to stay playful while still referencing the pain the gay liberation movement has gone through to get us to the painfully under-represented (yet better than it was) place we are now.

[lildogs]

Posted: 3/5/07 at 2:20pm

And maybe thanks to the use of the word "queer," it's lost most of its hurtful punch.