Which Nativity?

Oh my God...Miss Betty Bowers has me so stressed:

HOLIDAY DECOR ALERT: Decide if you are going to have a Matthew nativity or a Luke nativity. Matthew says Mary and Joseph lived in Bethlehem (so I suggest a lot of homespun carpentry -- with no faux finishes). Luke says they lived in Nazareth (so go with that dreadful stable look). Matthew says wise men. Luke...says shepherds. Neither says both. Decorate accordingly.

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"as they were rather gossipy, it's possible that some were female."

???

My favorite nativity scene was a cartoon depiction on a sweatshirt I had that had a caption coming from the stable that said, "It's a girl!"

My favorite nativity scene was a cartoon depiction on a sweatshirt I had that had a caption coming from the stable that said, "It's a girl!"

Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!

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Why is anyone even bringing up the Bible? The nativity Radio City uses has worked for them for years. And when I saw it, the Voice TOLD me Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I felt mysteriously compelled to agree after seeing the pretty chicks in skimpy costumes, the hammy Santa, a show choir, and a freakin' CAMEL! Who needs church when you can see a huge snazzy spectacle each year that tells you what religion you are at the end?

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Updated On: 12/6/10 at 05:53 PM

It's too bad that Merry Christmas Charlie Brown didn't tell about the gossipy women.

If you want gossipy women, check out Anna. She's just hanging around the Temple waiting for something juicy. The rabbi barely cuts the foreskin and Anna's off like a shot.

Luke 2:36-38

And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;

And she [was] a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served [God] with fastings and prayers night and day.

And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.

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If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.