Hi guys.
Quick check in.
Life is very difficult, and I have a GREAT story.
The other day, I ordered 3 things from Amazon.com
1) a book of erotica as a gift for Laelofthelakes (I was gonna visit her, excellent housewarming gift, yes?)
2) "Secrets of a gay marine pornstar"
3) Marci X. Bad movies make good Saturday nights.
Well, as luck would have it, it was sent to my house. Freud would say this is my coming out. My father opened up the package. He was gonna just hide it in his luggage and give it to me, but my mother found it. My dad called this morning:
"Call your mother. We got your package."
I call my mother. She's FLIPPING out.
Shira: Mom, it's for a friend.
Mom: Shira, that's like dog ate my homework.
I eventually convince her that's it true.
Eventually, it comes to this.
Mom: Shira, if this is for a friend, I truly question the people you are associating yourself with, especially if they read these THINGS. And secondly, if it's for yourself, I cannot being to comment on your behavior and how inappropriate it is. I will NOT send you money to send on these things! (Sidenote: My money that I earned!)
So, now she's semi-convinved I'm a lesbian. Which in her eyes, if the worse thing ever. She's SO homophobic, I hate it. She thinks that because I have so many gay men who adore me (

), I will be emotionally stunted, and never have a relationship with a straight man...
My dad's reaction: "Shira, I'd rather you be straight, but if you're a lesbian, okay." Afterwhich, he said something about how I might be a lesbian NOW because I won't attract boys in my "condition".
*sigh*
And I have a dinner with my parents and ALL my family on my Dad's side Friday night and a Bat Mitzvah on Saturday.
And I've gained weight.
So now I'm a fat lesbian. So what if I am? I know I'm large, but I don't know if I'm a lesbian. Maybe I am. It shouldn't matter. What's interesting is that my Mom's mom couldn't care LESS! Weird that is skips generations.
Sorry for the rant you guys. This was just the icing on the cake as I deal with some other terrible and difficult situations that I don't feel comfortable posting about.
Anyway, I'm kind of here now. Nice to know I was missed.
Deet: Shira, I Love You!