I don't have anyone's ass but my own right now...
And DG -- TP my house. Knock yourself out. But have straight men do it because then she'll go "This is what gay men do".
Kringas -- he opened up the amazon.com box so he could pack the stuff to bring to me. The box itself unopened would take up too much room. And while it pisses me off like HELL, he's on my side with the whole "I can be whomever I am" mantra. Well, at least in terms of life, if not weight. But hey, I'll take what I can get right now.
Deet: Shira, I Love You!