Worst. Denial. Ever.

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:09pm

So Ted Haggard NOW admits that be bought Crystal Meth from a Male Prostitue, BUT he didn't have sex with him and he didn't use the Meth. In fact, he threw the meth away.

That makes Clinton's "I didn't inhale" positively statesmenlike!
"I didn't Tweak"

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:11pm

Plus--he says he didn't have "sex"--he just got a massage!!!!

Ha!

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:11pm

I'm sure he just wanted a "massage" too.

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:12pm

Honestly, whenever I hear a story like this, I become very sad. Yes...there's a part of me that enjoys a hypocrite getting it in the end (pun intended), but it saddens me that someone could hate themselves so much.

But now...I'm just angry that not only does he hate us...he thinks we're stupid as well.

F*ck off, Mary. Ya did it. Ya got caught. The life you've built for yourself is over. Walk in truth.

[Flippancy]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:15pm

Oprah's bookers are on the phone, arranging for him to appear on her show in...say, 6 months to a year.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:17pm

I'm sure he'll do Oprah after his book comes out...now what will the title of his book be?

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:19pm

"Tempted by Forbidden Fruit"

[Calvin]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:19pm

I don't know, but they found this list hanging on his refrigerator:

Sudafed
Sudafed
Sudafed
Sudafed
Sudafed
Profylactics
Sudafed
Sudafed
Sudafed
Profylactics
Sudafed
Sudafed
Sudafed


I wonder what it means?

[JACXR71]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:21pm

So first he says the entire thing isn't true.

Then he says he's never even heard of this guy.

Then he says he has heard of him, but only because the hotel recommended him for a massage, but never called him.

Then he says he did call the guy, but it was for drugs and he didn't use them.

And yet his supporters still defend him 100%. I don't get people.

Updated On: 11/3/06 at 03:21 PM

[Flippancy]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:21pm

Calvin, I bow at your greatness.

And your picture of George Sanders, too. I heart "Addison DeWitt".

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:22pm

Me neither.

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:23pm

Blah Blah Blah...

and Calvin...!!!

Updated On: 11/3/06 at 03:23 PM

[Calvin]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 3:23pm

It's my secret way of saying that I'm priming some upstart to go after Margo.

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:01pm

The more I hear this guy talk the more I laugh. His defense is that he called an escort to his hotel to "Give him a message" and the escort offered to sell him Meth so he bought some, but threw it away?

So, even if we take him at his word, what do you think his wife would think about him calling an escort to his hotel room for a massage? What an odd thing for a heterosexual christian man to do! And to be curious about meth?

"You know young man, I hear a lot about this new drug Meth you homosexuals are taking these days! What's it like?"

"Well, sir, I could get you some so you could try it. I think it might help you in your christian mission."

"Indeed!? Give me $100 worth-- no, make it $200. I am REALLY curious!"

[matthius202]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:04pm

Addison DeWitt...i love it :) ...*runs to tv and puts on SPECIAL EDITION DVD of All About Eve*

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:07pm

Joe, it is hilarious. What married man would go to a hotel room with anyone other than his wife.

This reminds me of the great summer of 1990 when Mayor Barry was smoking crack in the hotel. I was in DC at the time and he would come on TV every other day counting his days of sobriety.

Maybe Haggard can go on the 700 Club and count his days without any dick!

[Flippancy]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:16pm

Joe, Thank god I checked the board before I posted, because I was going to post exactly the same thoughts: how, pray tell, does the conversation during a legit massage turn to "can you score some meth for me?"

And the bigger question: Haggard must really be an idiot if he didn't think that question through.

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:19pm

And although I have never heard of this guy he is the head of a HUGE church! Millions of members! I would think this guy is used to being recognized. If I were in his place, I'd think twice before asking a random hotel manager to recommend a male masseuse, much less hire one or score meth from him.

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:20pm

He was featured in the A&E film JESUS CAMP.

He kept using the word 'fabulous' over and over. I arched an eyebrow.

[Flippancy]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:23pm

Robbie (how the hell are you, by the way? :) )

I remember seeing him on the Barbara Walters' special last year -- something about "How Do You Get To Heaven>". She interviewed people of all faiths and creeds for their particular views. It was very interesting.

Anyway, Haggard and Barbara sat down for a little chatnik. All during his discourse, he didn't just ping....there was a big freakin' GONG going off. At the time, I dismissed it as too much time on his knees.

Little did I know...

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:25pm

Fabulous? That is a tip off. If someone describes him as "Flamboyant" that is the giveaway.

You know, "Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons...."

"Flamboyant musician Elton John...."

"Flamboyant congressman Mark Foley..."

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:28pm

I'm doin' fine and dandy, Flip!

The 'fabulous' thing was just too dead on...but I thought, I guess the straights are embracing it, too. Like manscaping and Lillet.

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:33pm

He only bought the meth in order to make sure there was less for the children to buy later.

And he only wanted the massage to make sure he's relaxed and primed to give more sermons in the name of God.

Duh.



robbie-- God, I still love your sig and avatar. It makes me giggle every time.

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:35pm

Ah yes! "Get Meth off the street one gram at a time!"

And every minute that hustler spends in his hotel room is a minute he's not having sex with someone else!

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/3/06 at 4:36pm

SG,

A true classic that will NEVER get old, right?

Oh...and made he was getting a SINUS massage and needed the meth cause every CVS in Denver had run out of Sudafed. It's just as plausible.