being gay

[Jasper D]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:04pm

hey guys - i've really enjoyed reading all your posts over the last little while. What kind of struck me was how comfortable you all are with being gay. Those of you who are gay I mean.
Ok here's a big step for me - I'm gay. I think that's the first time I've ever actually aknoledged that fact,even to myself. I mean of course its been there at the back of my mind, but in truth it really was pushed way down. Where I live it really would be frowned upon - I wouldnt be gay, I'd be a gay - so I dont see that changing, but I just wanted to thank you all for making me feel somewhat more good about myself. It amazes me how its always there in your lives and youre so totally ok with that, no struggles. So thanks.

[Glebb]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:05pm

You're welcome and remember, you've got to LIVE, LIVE, LIVE!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:08pm

Welcome to your real world - there really is no substitute. Please seek other avenues of expression for yourself, especially where you live.

And just because, if for whatever reason you have questions that you're not comfortable asking in the public forum, many posters here, including myself, are happy to respond to private messages.

[KMF_NYC]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:09pm

Jasper
You just took a big step -- although you'd be surprised -- I grew up in one of those areas (even though it was just about an hour from NYC) -- once I was confortable with who I really was, I found it didn't matter to those that I really cared about!

I don't feel as if you need to thank "me" as one of the happy and comfortable gay men on the boards -- but I appreciate it!

Just be yourself my friend...

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:16pm

Welcome Jasper D! I'm a heterosexual female in a pretty liberal part of Canada, but as an ally, I can understand your struggle, and I hope you find some support here on the board! Most people around here are willing to listen.

[Jasper D]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:22pm

thanks
please dont take this the wrong way, but I have to get over my own prejudices first before I start on other people. I dont want to be gay. I dont want people to think I'm gay. But I know it's there and always will be. If a stranger on the train asked me was I gay, I'd say no. And really, its hard to express this -
I know my family would always look at me differently and they have their oen prejudices, but I love them so much I can forgive them that, I dont want to lose them. Its tough. Most days its fine but I know this cant go on forever - I just dont know how its gonna end.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:31pm

Jasper - no offense, but you are not the first to feel these emotions. Continue to reach out, even if it's only in an anonymous forum such as this.

Speaking of which, since you obviously have access to the internet, spend some time with google and let your mind wander.

[BT]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:40pm

Jasper - you took a big step by actually posting that message. Give yourself a little time to get used to it. The most important thing is for you to feel comfortable with yourself. When you're comfortable with yourself then you can share that with others. No rush, you are already starting the journey! Congratulations!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:40pm

One giant step! Welcome to living. It's a murky path at the moemnt, but with each step things will get clearer. Where will it end? Like any life journey it will never end. You will continue to grow, change, adapt, expand and define your new life. You may not "want to be gay" but it's one of the many things that make up who you are.

Eventually your friends and family will come around, and as far as strangers? The hell with them. As far as being comfortable with being gay, if you can embrace the true value of this aspect of your true self, (along with everything else that is YOU)eventually you will learn to love it.

PLEASE feel free to PM with anything you need to talk about. You got friends now Jasper. And we love you just the way you are.

[Westopher]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:46pm

Congratulations and God speed.
There are always people who care!

[NYadgal]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:46pm

A warm welcome to our new friend.

May you find support and comfort and friendship here!

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:51pm

You won't be judged here. Welcome and enjoy.

[broadwaystar2b]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:59pm

We're happy have you here

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 10:59pm

Jasper,

- No one walks in your shoes but yourself.
- Have the courage of your convictions to decide what's best for you. When all is said and done, you alone live with your decisions.
- Be sensitive to whether your decisions bring physical harm to others.
- Life is managing change.
- All that one can control is oneself and how one reacts to others and events that surround one.
- Each of us can act stupidly sometimes.

Why do I feel like Polonius?


Welcome!
Updated On: 11/11/04 at 10:59 PM

[Jess1483]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 11:02pm

Welcome!!

You'll find tons of support here, it's a great place to be.

[Plum]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 11:27pm

To thine own self be true.

Right, Jose'?

[grownupgroupie]

Posted: 11/11/04 at 11:27pm

Congratulations and welcome out--if only to yourself and BWW for now! As everyone has said, you've taken a big leap on this board today, and you are among friends here. Things will get easier and harder both, but just keep on being honest with yourself and LOVE YOURSELF for who you were born to be.

xo

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 12:05am

Congrats! Now you can start being truly fabulous and wonderful. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to...I mean it. Thinks will work out, I know they did for me.

[morosco]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 12:10am

Jasper....remember not to take it TOO seriously. This should only be a PORTION of who you are. Don't let it become WHO you are. Relax. Live. And LOVE! No big deal....be YOURSELF!!

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 1:12am

I feel privileged that you chose to come out to us, Jasper D. Congratulations and I hope we see more of you!

[Dolly_Levi]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 1:42am

Congratulations dear boy. Enjoy your new freedom.

[B.B. Wolf]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 2:11am

If you were gay, that'd be okay.
I mean, cuz hey, I'd like you anyway.
You were just born that way
And, as they say, it's in your DNA: you're gay!

A little spliced Avenue Q lyrics for ya, Jasper.
Welcome!

[badkarma719]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 2:52am

Welcome!!

You'll find tons of support here, it's a great place to be.

YEAH
the fake Girl friend fills in for me for the time I was gone

Congratulations

I remember when I came out
the resteraunt I did it at just closed last month too

and as I said jokingly to a friend when they asked if they should go to their college gay club meeting

BE GAY OR DIE

he laughed and it was fun
question
were u homophobic before you came out

reason I ask is my friends and I were talking about it last week
before we all came out we were all homophbic then we came out and we arn't abviously

and seriously this is a great place to confied thing into

the fg and I are usually around and u can PM us if u need

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 5:58am

hey Jasper!

Welcome to the boards and congrats on taking a MAJOR step to being a happier person in the long run.

I know how you feel. I am in my early 20s now, and I grew up in a place MUCH like you describe. I went through aLOT, but I am a better person for it now.

feel free to mssg me any time if you want/need to talk to someone.

broadwayguy2

[wickedfan2]

Posted: 11/12/04 at 9:27am

Welcome! We are here for you...and remember... we are ALL GODS CHLDREN!