warning signs of suicide

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 6:16pm

a boy in town my brorher's age killed himself on wednessday... i didn't know him but it makes me sad to think about how his friends and family must feel, and how he felt before he did it.
there were signs that people should have picked up on but no one did... the day he killed himself he gave his friends each a box and a letter. the boxes had all his stuff in it that he thought his friends would have liked, and the letters all said something along the lines of "i love you thank you for being my friend". he signed himself out of school early, drove home, and shot himself in the head.
it could have been prevented.
he was described as having the "perfect life"... he had friends, his family loved him, and he had just gotten into princeton.
this is a list of signs of a suicidal person... if you know anyone who has the signs, please get help for them.

----------------------

Warning Signs of Suicide

Talking about suicide.
Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
Preoccupation with death.
Suddenly happier, calmer.
Loss of interest in things one cares about.
Visiting or calling people one cares about.
Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
Giving things away.
A suicidal person urgently needs to see a doctor or psychiatrist.

Symptoms of Major Depression

Not all people with depression will show all symptoms or have them to the same degree. If a person has four or more symptoms, for more than two weeks, consult a medical doctor or psychiatrist. While the symptoms specified for all groups below generally characterize major depression, there are other disorders with similar characteristics including: unipolar depression, bipolar illness, anxiety disorder, or attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity. Remember that only a medical doctor can diagnose depression.

In Adults

Persistent sad or "empty" mood.
Feeling hopeless, helpless, worthless, pessimistic and/or guilty.
Substance abuse.
Fatigue or loss of interest in ordinary activities, including sex.
Disturbances in eating and sleeping patterns.
Irritability, increased crying, anxiety or panic attacks.
Difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions.
Thoughts of suicide; suicide plans or attempts.
Persistent physical symptoms or pains that do not respond to treatment.

In Infants

It’s important to understand what constitutes normal development in infants, children and adolescents vs. what may be signs of a depressive illness. You may not see a drastic change in a child/adolescent's behavior or mood if they were born with a depressive illness. It may be part of their make-up having been present from day one.

Unresponsive when talked to or touched, never smile or cry, or may cry often being difficult to soothe.
Failure to gain weight (not due to other medical illness).
Unmotivated in play.
Restless, oversensitive to noise or touch.
Problems with eating or sleeping.
Digestive disorders (constipation/diarrhea).

In Children

In children, depressive illnesses/anxiety may be disguised as, or presented as, school phobia or school avoidance, social phobia or social avoidance, excessive separation anxiety, running away, obsessions, compulsions, or everyday rituals, such as having to go to bed at the exact time each night for fear something bad may happen. Chronic illnesses may be present also since depression weakens the immune system.

Persistent unhappiness, negativity, complaining, chronic boredom, no initiative.
Uncontrollable anger with aggressive or destructive behavior, possibly hitting themselves or others, kicking, or self-biting, head banging. Harming animals.
Continual disobedience.
Easily frustrated, frequent crying, low self-esteem, overly sensitive.
Inability to pay attention, remember, or make decisions, easily distracted, mind goes blank.
Energy fluctuations from lethargic to frenzied activity, with periods of normalcy.
Eating or sleeping problems.
Bedwetting, constipation, diarrhea. Impulsiveness, accident-prone.
Chronic worry & fear, clingy, panic attacks.
Extreme self-consciousness.
Slowed speech & body movements.
Disorganized speech - hard to follow when telling you a story, etc.
Physical symptoms such as dizziness, headaches, stomachaches, arms or legs ache, nail-biting, pulling out hair or eyelashes. (ruling out other medical causes)
Suicidal talk or attempts.

In Adolescents

Depressive illnesses/anxiety may be disguised as, or presented as, eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, drug/alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, risk-taking behavior such as reckless driving, unprotected sex, carelessness when walking across busy streets, or on bridges or cliffs. There may be social isolation, running away, constant disobedience, getting into trouble with the law, physical or sexual assaults against others, obnoxious behavior, failure to care about appearance/hygiene, no sense of self or of values/morals, difficulty cultivating relationships, inability to establish/stick with occupational/educational goals.

Physical symptoms such as dizziness, headaches, stomachaches, neck aches, arms or legs hurt due to muscle tension, digestive disorders. (ruling out other medical causes)
Persistent unhappiness, negativity, irritability.
Uncontrollable anger or outbursts of rage.
Overly self-critical, unwarranted guilt, low self-esteem. Inability to concentrate, think straight, remember, or make decisions, possibly resulting in refusal to study in school or an inability (due to depression or attention deficit disorder) to do schoolwork.
Slowed or hesitant speech or body movements, or restlessness (anxiety).
Loss of interest in once pleasurable activities.
Low energy, chronic fatigue, sluggishness.
Change in appetite, noticeable weight loss or weight gain, or abnormal eating patterns.
Chronic worry, excessive fear.
Preoccupation with death themes in literature, music, drawings, speaking of death repeatedly, fascination with guns/knives.
Suicidal thoughts, plans, or attempts.

In the Elderly

Many people feel that it is normal for elderly persons to be depressed. This is a dangerous misconception. If you suspect an older adult is suffering from a depressive illness, a thorough medical examination should be given as soon as possible.

Unusual complaints of aches and pains (back, stomach, arms, legs, head, chest), fatigue, slowed movements and speech, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, weight increase or decrease, blurred vision, dizziness, heart racing, anxiety.
Inability to concentrate, remember or think straight (sometimes mistaken for dementia). An overall sadness or apathy, withdrawal; inability to find pleasure in anything.
Irritability, mood swings or constant complaining; nothing seems to make the person happy.
Talk of worthlessness, not being needed anymore, excessive and unwarranted guilt.
Frequent doctor visits without relief in symptoms; all tests come out negative.
Alcoholism, which can mask an underlying depression.

Symptoms of Mania:

Decreased need for sleep.
Restless, agitated, can't sit still. Increased energy, or an inability to slow down.
Racing, disorganized thoughts, easily distracted.
Rapid, increased talking or laughing
Grandiose ideas, increased creativity.
Overly excited, euphoric, giddy, exhilarated.
Excessive irritability, on edge.
Increased sex drive, possibly resulting in affairs, inappropriate sexual behaviors.
Poor judgment, impulsiveness, spending sprees
Embarrassing social behavior
Paranoia, delusions, hallucinations

[Link Larkin Wanabe]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 6:46pm

When I was 8, my brother's best friend committed suicide at the age of 12 and it sent shockwaves through our community. The only positive thing to come out of the horrific experience was that people became suddenly more and more aware of the effects of bullying and were educated on the signs of how to spot depression and suicidal tendencies.

Akiva

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 7:02pm

He didn't even wait until the end of the school day?

[The Grovers Corners Yenta2]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 7:23pm

I went through several suicide attempts many years ago. It took someone to get very angry at me and say" I care about you and it hurts me to see you so unhealthy!" That made a major impact on me. I never looked back to that awful place ever again.

[Becky2]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 7:30pm

In 8th grade I can a friend kill herself. I remember a few years before another friend's mother said "Don't joke about suicide, by the time you're 30 you'll know someone who committed suicide." I remembered that sentence and thought about that this girl was only 14.

I was in a deep depression that year, I refused to talk or be around people, was extremely irritable, etc. But then I started to come out of it and a few days later, the first day back from spring break, I heard that she had shot herself through the mouth. She had been going through the same things I had been going through, and I wished I would have know so we could have helped each other through it. I was in such a deep depression, but I never thought of suicide, and this made me glad I didn't. We had a couple of students die between 8th and 12th grade, but knowing that her's was suicide made it the worst.

[KelRel]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 9:04pm

I have had two friends try to kill themselves. It is a terrible thing to go through. One of them I found out after the fact, another I acctually walked in on her trying to slit her wrists after she had taken two bottles of pills. I got the razor away from her and she was too weak to get it back. I called 911 and they were able to pump her stomach. I spent the rest of that semester terrified to go to class or go anywhere away from her because she refused to go to counseling. It was a nightmare.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 9:08pm

I just found out that a close friend of my best friend's tried to kill herself -- not just a "cry for help," but really, legitimately tried to kill herself. She's just gotten out of a month in the hospital -- I don't know what exactly she took -- but is still having trouble walking, and may have some measurable memory loss.

I don't know her well, but either way, makes you think about the people close to you. It's frightening.

[Dancinqueen123]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 9:37pm

I don't know of anyone who has commited suicide. Right now though I am going through a deep depression. Lots of my so-called "friends" have stopped hanging out with me all of a sudden. Example:the girl who drives me to school every day is having a beach party tonight at her house. During this past week that's all she's talked about. I've hung out with this girl for 2 years now, so I don't know what the problem is. I've never thought of commiting suicide, but I feel really sad and alone because I feel like I have no friends. I'm currently seeing a psycologist to help me out, but I haven't seen any progress yet. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know that there are lots of requests like this on these boards, but it would make me feel better to know that I'm being thought of. I consider everyone on these boards my friends, even though I don't really know them. I spend most of my time on the computer because I have no one else to talk to. Even though I know I will probably never meet any of you I feel like I've known you all for ages. Thank you for being here for me.

~Kelsey

[BrunetteBombshell]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 10:06pm

A boy at my school shot himself in the head later last year. I think he was in the seventh grade, nd a year odler than me (even though I'm in the 8th grade) He also had "the perfect life".

It was a really emotional time for the whole school. Nobody could believe it because he was a good kid, with good grades and he was on the football team. And I recently found out that one of my closest friends was cutting herself.

[theatrebabe]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 10:19pm

A couple of my friends have told me that they cut themselves for "fun" or when they're bored. What the hell?? You're bored, you call me, or go watch TV. It scares me because it doesn't seem to bother them at all. They laugh about it...

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 10:28pm

My sophmore year within two months four kids from out school were dead. Two were driving drunk, one drown, and the third shot himself in the head.

The guy who shot himself lived three houses down from me and we walked home together everyday. Other than that we didn't really talk at school or hang out or anything, so when they said his name over the intercom It took me about 30 seconds to place a face to the name. I started to cry and couldn't stop all day.

My whole life from 5th grade to my Junior year in high school was filled with severe depression. I had thought about suicide a lot. It was some really good friends who don't know it but they changed my life. It took them one summer to do what my family had been trying to do for years, get me out of my "I hate you and the world" phase. I can understand why people would choose suicide.
I think that in schools they should be more attentive to students, even at the smallest sign that somthing might be wrong. In all the years I went through depression not one person tried to talk to me, not even the people who knew how happy of a kid I was before.
I just wish people would understand that people do this for a reason and it can be prevented if you take the time to help.


~~EM~~
Updated On: 4/7/06 at 10:28 PM

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 11:36pm

Our friend committed suicide in December. He was depressed and had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, but he was also a very fun and happy man. It was the saddest funeral I had ever been to. He was 35 and left a wife and 2 year old daughter.

[wexy]

Posted: 4/7/06 at 11:57pm

I alway remember what Salman Rushdie wrote in one of his novels;
" Murder is a crime against the dead but suicide is a crime against the living."

The people left behind are the ones that really suffer.

[catharsis]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 4:20am

It is really awful the feelings that accompany depression. It's a horrible thing all together. I know the feelings from personal experience. I am, for the most part, better now.
I think that those with depression lack a strong support system. I know my friends would tell me "Oh, you just have to TRY"; "Just be social..get out there!"..but I couldn't, and they didn't get that. So it's a tough way to live. If no one's there to help...no one's there at all. That's where suicidal thoughts come in to play. The only reason I hadn't more seriously thought about suicide was the idea of leaving family and some friends behind.

Recently, a basketball/baseball/softball coach and history teacher that taught at a local high school committed suicide. I had seen him everyday. It really hit the community hard, very hard. He never seemed to show any signs whatsoever..but then it happened. He had been missing, and tried to empty his bank account. Two days or so ago, they found him... To reach that desperation, with it so strong, it's a horrible thing to imagine. It's someone's last minute on earth and all they feel is pain. I wish that he could have only seen the 8000 people that came to his wake.

I agree with what EM in OR said. It takes that group of concerned people that offer support and help, not those that say "get over it".

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 11:12am

This is one of those topics that some people are afraid to address. It is just not something people want to talk about. There is some good information in Abba's initial post.
I hope that anyone who is having these thoughts will seek help. It is there if you need it. And it is available at no cost.

Kel, didn't your friend have to have counseling? Or be admitted to a psych ward at all? You make it sound as if she left the ER and went right back to school without any sort of supervision or follow up. That seems odd to me.

Here is a link for those who don't know where to turn...
National Suicide Hotlines

[ihearttheatre]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 11:19am

When I was 13, I witnessed someone try to commit suicide at summercamp. It was definately a "cry for help" more then a genuine attempt, but it was terrifying to actually see someone start stabbing themselves. She went home and got help, as far as I know.


Updated On: 4/8/06 at 11:19 AM

[Elphaba]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 12:05pm

when I was a senior in high school, my best friend hung himself......because a girl would not go out with him )obviously there were much deeper issues.......he exhibited NONE of these:

Talking about suicide.
Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
Preoccupation with death.
Suddenly happier, calmer.
Loss of interest in things one cares about.
Visiting or calling people one cares about.
Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
Giving things away.

My point? TALK to your friends, be there for them....find out what's going on in their lives, tell them you love them.

I did none of these things........hard way to learn a lesson.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 12:36pm

Obviously there are people who kill themselves who do not give these signals, that is the sad thing. But if you do see some of these signs they should be taken seriously...

Abba says the boy..."... gave his friends each a box and a letter. the boxes had all his stuff in it that he thought his friends would have liked, and the letters all said something along the lines of "i love you thank you for being my friend". he signed himself out of school early, drove home, and shot himself in the head." That is pretty textbook. It is sad that none of his friends thought to say, "Why is he doing this?"

[KelRel]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 1:03pm

Sueleen, no she was kept for observations for a couple days and then she was given a pschyologist to see but she never went. When she did go she just lied to him, she lied to everyone. She refused to take the meds that she was given. It was a mess. She had gotten so upset because of the guy she was dating. He was a Marine and he treated her like she was a slave. He lived in North Carolina and she lived here in Kentucky, but he had her so screwed up in the head that she would change her t-shirt, not anything revealing at all, three times before she would go to class because she was comvinced that he had friends here would would call him and tell him that she as out acting like a slut and then he would leave her. It was bizare. She found out that he was cheating on her and that caused her to try to kill herself. We tried to convince her that the best thing for her would be to dump him and cut contact with him and she did break up with him. I thought that she was getting better because after she left him she started taking her meds and getting real help, but as soon as the semester was over and she was back home in North Carolina she went right back to him and stopped her counseling. It was a mess...

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 1:37pm

One of my best friends commited suicide when I was in 8th grade. I hadnt seen him for a couple years so when he came to visit, I assumed it was because we hadnt seen eachother, but it wasnt....
I never leave a conversation without telling the person I love them anymore. Ever.
Love you

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 3:12pm

from what my brother told me (his friend was friends with the boy.. that's how i knew the details about the boxes and princeton) i guess his friends did ask him why he was doing this, but no one put two and two together. someone even said "you love me? are you trying to tell me you're gay or something?"

[StageManager2]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 4:45pm

I've struggled with depression for most of my teenage/adult life and I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I have attempted suicide three times, more recently last year. As a teenager, I was into cutting, not because it was fun or to make the time pass, but because the physical pain temporarily distracted me from the emotional pain. (theatrebabe, I have a feeling your friends may have just told you that so you wouldn't worry too much.) I, for one, try to keep up appearances, especially at work, but it becomes a burden to try to act the part of a carefree, happy-go-lucky fellow daily, when really you're anything but. When I'm in my comfort zone, around relatives and such, I can be so self-deprecating (especially about my appearance, which people continually assure me is fine) that people find me insufferable. This is one reason why I think I have trouble keeping friends. I can make them, no problem, but once we become more familiar with each other, they realize that I'm not who they thought I was and bolt. I don't know why I'm telling you all this, only that I concur with Sueleen that not everyone exhibits signals.

[slimandslam]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 8:29pm

You know what part of the original post I found unbelievably creepy and depressing?

In Infants

...
Unresponsive when talked to or touched, never smile or cry, or may cry often being difficult to soothe.
Failure to gain weight (not due to other medical illness).
Unmotivated in play.
Restless, oversensitive to noise or touch.
Problems with eating or sleeping.
Digestive disorders (constipation/diarrhea).

I didn't even know that infants could have warning signs of suicide. My daughter is not yet 2. The notion that she or any of her playmates might conceivably be suicidal at that age gives me the shivers.

[Magdalene]

Posted: 4/8/06 at 9:34pm

There was a article, fairly recent, that interviewed survivors that tried to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. I believe that everyone interviewed said that as soon as they jumped, they didn't want to die anymore.
It is so sad that we don't listen anymore...

Updated On: 4/10/06 at 09:34 PM

[StageManager2]

Posted: 4/9/06 at 12:10am

Magdalene, I agree that some suicidal people don't really want to die. Personally speaking, it was a last resort, and even then not a particularly attractive one. But sometimes death seemed like the only alternative -- to die or to live in hell?

slimandslam, it is shocking to think of infants and toddlers being depressed. For them, it must be terribly scary. Imagine feeling sad and not knowing how to - or even able to -- communicate your feelings. When I was fifteen I was in a children's unit of a psychiatric hospital and there was a six-year-old who had mutilated himself. It broke my heart to see a child of his age in such a state of despair.