The Paul story is hardly the only story in ACL. And in fact, it's not really very historically accurate. The people who got gigs in The Jewel Box Revue were treated like kings, or queens, if you will. It was the sort of thing that gay dancers LOVED to get cast in, like the way Les Ballets des Trockadero is today. But Paul's monologue calls it "a real freakshow" and was taken directly from the life of Nicholas Dante, infused with his own internalized homophobia.
The details of the story are much less important than the emotions it calls up using the feelings of a person who has always made an effort to blend in ("who am I anyway?"), and what it's like to be put on the spot("what should I try to be?"), asked to reveal himself to another person("what am I gonna say when he calls on me?"), and feeling as if he will be personally shattered if he does so ("I don't wanna talk about this. Why do I have to talk about this?").
It's about the immediate pain, informed by past trauma. It's Zach's heretofore unseen humane raction to what Paul says that makes the moment so powerful.
And Curtain, in my professional life I often get to hear from young gay people (calm down GG3, I hear from them, I don't touch them), and one thing I hear consistently is how much they resent hearing from older people, even slightly older people, that they have it so much easier today.
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Updated On: 1/12/05 at 03:23 PM