Baby, THAT SUCKED!

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 12:48am

Where to start? Holy God in heaven, where to start?! I bought tickets for myself and my friend who is probably one of Beth Leavel's biggest fans. I was excited to see a train wreck, he was excited to see her and he told me he was going to love this show. About 15 minutes into it he looks at me and mouths "Can we go"? We didn't go, but part of me really wanted to join the others who left continuously throughout the show tonight.

This is right up there with GOOD VIBRATIONS as the worst jukebox musical ever put on the stage. The fact that they sacrifice any kind of plot just to get more music that has absolutely nothing to do with the "story" shows the kind of ineptitude that went into the "scriptwriting". Seriously, who wrote this? A computer program? The story that's interesting here is NOT Florence Greenberg, it's The Shirelles. They went from being the most famous all girl group in the world to not being able to get a job. But every element of happiness, sadness, etc. in their story was cut out. Their entire story was cut out. When Florence hears the girls sing on the playground and immediately hands them contracts I burst out laughing. Magically two seconds later and six months later the girls are famous. What happened in between? It doesn't matter, they need to fit five songs in there! There's no time for plot or character development!

If you do go see this show, bring a flask and play a little drinking game. Every time Beth Leavel walks on the stage, says one line and walks off dramatically take a shot. You'll be drunk in 10 minutes. Walk on, walk off, walk on walk off, walk on, walk off. I'm surprised she didn't have whiplash by intermission.

And also a note for anyone in the future who wants to use real people as characters in your show: Make sure they SOUND LIKE THE PERSON THEY'RE PLAYING. Lesley Gore and Dionne Warwick did not sing their songs like they were making fun of what musical theatre sounds like.

Anyways, I have a headache from enduring this mindless piece of shlt. It wasn't even the kind of garbage you can walk out of and be glad you saw something so stupid. Everyone involved with it should be ashamed of themselves.
Updated On: 3/30/11 at 12:48 AM

[adamgreer]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 12:52am

This review, along with the first preview reports, makes me want to rush out and see this immediately. Who knew that in one season we'd have Spiderman, Wonderland, and now this gem?

It's like the gift that keeps on giving.
Updated On: 3/30/11 at 12:52 AM

[VernonGersch]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 12:53am

literally everything that you just wrote kinda makes me want to see the show now - as a sort of endurance test - is that wrong? how long do you give it?

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 12:54am

And here's the kicker - I took a friend last night to see WONDERLAND because I told him that when I went the other day how awful it was and they went and made cuts and I actually enjoyed it! BABY IT'S YOU, however is unfixable. It's pure trash.

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 12:59am

This makes me want to see this too. Legitimately bad shows are my guily pleasure. When the local dinner theatre has a show with awful reviews, chances are I will go buy a $10 student rush seat. I am always entertained. Next season they are doing Legally Blonde and Spelling Bee... can't wait

[CapnHook]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 12:59am

We get BABY, IT'S YOU on Broadway and yet THE VISIT never got the investors for a transfer? I hate people with money.

[egghumor]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 1:26am

Brilliant OP, Mr. Catalano, I was crying! Sounds like one of those where you know you should just keep on driving by, and yet you can't help but slow way down and gawking at the wreckage.
From what you and others described elsewhere, I can't but think the problem is the fact that the producers of this enterprise simply did not have the bucks to secure the rights to all these real-life charcte's stories.
They decided to put their resources toward securing the rights to perform the songs.
In no way do I think that would yield a good musical, but it's the only I can explain the storyline and character problems.
The most cost-effective story to buy was Mrs. Greenberg's.

Like I said, I saw the same thing happen with LEADER OF THE PACK. The only true-life person (Ellie Greenwich) actually named correctly in that one was because that was person whose life story had been purchase. Everyone was a one-dimensional, fictionally-named charcater. Even Dinah Manoff's scene as Ellie were brief and skeletal. The very real Darlene Love was also in the cast, so she told her own (almost laughable) thumbnail story. It all took place on a stack of records!!! Oy.
I remember encountering the phenominal Ellie Greenwich on Broadway about one year later, and she lamenting having to spend so much to buy back the rights to her life story.

[rosscoe(au)]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 2:22am

I love a good train wreck, the question is will it msake it past opening night?

[bk]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 2:55am

It will make it long past opening night, thanks to the sort of folks who, instead of ignoring something they're going to loathe, go anyway. All the producers see is people in the seats - and producers these days will keep anything open especially when there are people in the seats. They don't know why you're there, they just know you're there. The only way to stop bad theater and bad musicals is to stop going to see them. That's the only message that gets through, I'm afraid.

[egghumor]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 3:09am

I don't disagree with you bk but I doubt if BIY has any or much advance sale. They won't run that show at a deficit for very long if the critics hammer it.
But as long as they can get above breakeven most weeks, they'll likely keep running. Can't blame them for trying to get a little return.

[brettystar]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 3:39am

This review was hilarious - thanks Jordan.
What do you think it was about Wonderland that made you enjoy it more the second time round? Just the puns that were cut? Or is the story more cohesive now?

[billyboyA]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 4:10am

Unless they cut the ENTIRE first act of Wonderland, it wasn't enough!! Bad jokes, bad music (and this coming from a guy who is usually a fan of Wildhorn!), dull inept performances... Never been so bored in my life.

[ABB2357]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 5:32am

I cannot wait. I hope to God this and WONDERLAND last through the Tonys so I can witness the glorious failure with my own eyes. It's rare to get one for-the-ages flop in a season, but this year there might be two!

And seriously, you guys, this is what FIRST WIVES was like. If only it could have gotten this level of exposure. It was epic.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 5:48am

"
This makes me want to see this too. Legitimately bad shows are my guily pleasure. When the local dinner theatre has a show with awful reviews, chances are I will go buy a $10 student rush seat. I am always entertained. Next season they are doing Legally Blonde and Spelling Bee... "

A feeling I totally embrace. But this is a jukebox with a shaky concept at most (Florence was involved in literally none of the songs in real life, and most of the acts left Sceptor, et al, pretty shortly)--I dunno why people are shocked into seeing this "fun"?

I mean Wonderland at least seems like a flop that tried and wasn't written by cynics who had set a party and rented a few songs (some that have NO connection to the material) for it....

[egghumor]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 5:52am

...and have you forgotten about that minor little calamity known as 'Spider-Man'??? Yes, I realize it will now officially count as a 2011-12 Broadway season show but really, when has there been a show so colossally disaster-prone that it is setting records for previews and yet still manages to NOT quality for the Tony Awards during THIS season? So far, it's not only the HISTORIC high-tech money flop of this season, but perhaps NEXT season and the new millennium as well.

[WhizzerMarvin]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 8:24am

I am in complete agreement with everything Jordan said. This is complete trash and even without having seen People in the Picture, Born Yesterday, Jerusalem, House of Blue Leaves or The Normal Heart I think it is safe to say that this is the worst Broadway production of the 2010-2011 season.

[itsahopi]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 9:47am

But... Is it worse than "Women on the Verge"?

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 9:49am

have you forgotten about that minor little calamity known as 'Spider-Man'???

I don't think anyone is going to forget about Spider-Man anytime soon egghumor.

[WhizzerMarvin]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 9:54am

This is million times worse than Women on the Verge. Spiderman was bad, but not as bad as this.

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 10:00am

At least people were able to say some positive things about Spider-Man and Women On The Verge. I have yet to read one good thing about this show, and I'm sure there's a reason for it.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 10:00am

BABY, IT'S YOU makes SPIDERMAN look like Shakespeare.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 10:06am

We get BABY, IT'S YOU on Broadway and yet THE VISIT never got the investors for a transfer?

Depends on the investors. These investors were banking on the hit songs. The Visit would be an artistic investment as it really doesn't hold much commercial appeal. It might fare slightly better than Scottsboro Boys, but the show is actually quite cold and its surreal absurdism is not going to land well with a broad audience. I found it to be a very intriguing show, but it didn't stay with me at all.

[itsahopi]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 10:13am

But... Is it worse than FIRST WIVES CLUB?

[singtopher]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 10:19am

I've got tickets for tomorrow night. Can't. Wait.

[WithoutATrace]

Posted: 3/30/11 at 10:25am

If this were the 70s or 80s, BABY IT'S YOU would close in previews. This is on the level of TRUCKLOAD and SENATOR JOE - completely incoherent!