Clay Aiken's Blog

[synecdoche]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 12:11pm

Clay Aiken blogged late last night to his fans and I'm posting it here because he's part of the Broadway community now and does have fans on this board. I thought it would be helpful because I know there are some here who feel he should have come out earlier and his blog talks honestly about why he initially lied and how he feels about it.

A couple of notes: the "OFC" he mentions is his official fan club board and discussions taking place there. While the majority of his fans are fine with it. A very small group are having trouble. Also, any bolding below is mine.

I hope that people won't allow a couple of troublemakers (and we all know who they are) to shut down the thread.

His blog:

"What a week or so this has been. In fact, it's just been two weeks since I started back to the Spam. Jerome and I were just talking the other day, though, about how the past two weeks have felt like a month. So much routine to get back into and yet so much routine and consistency to break. No doubt, many of you have been going through quite a bit over the past week or so yourselves. What a bunch of headline news we have had in the past 10 days! Wall Street falling to it's knees. Congress propping it back up. Two debates. Hijackers in Somalia. New leaders in South Africa and Japan. You'd think with all of the important events going on in the world, there would be plenty to fill up the pages of America's newspapers, websites and blogs without the need for information on the private lives of the country's singers and entertainers. But, alas, thats never the case. In fact for the last five years, I've found what seems to have been an inordinate amount of interest (not from the public, but from the media) in my own personal life. The questions never seemed to stop. Oh sure, they die down for a period, but they resurface. The wind blows another direction, and I do yet another interview worried that my personal life will become a topic of discussion. No doubt the birth of Parker would bring the same scrutiny, just heightened. It's an interesting time we live in. Gone are the days when entertainers could go about their lives without the invasion of privacy that we now see everyday in the form of paparazzi and internet tabloid bloggers. So, in the hopes of being able to sing and act (and dance poorly) and do what I love to do for a living while raising my son in a hopefully more private and accepting environment, I chose to go ahead and confront things head on. Yes, I would have preferred to separate my personal life from my professional life. I would have been just as happy to go on without discussing my orientation. But, it seems like that was not an option. Make no mistake, its not because I am ashamed. No, not for a minute. I haven't always been as comfortable as I am now, but I am without a doubt, proud of who I am and make no apologies for it. Instead, I would have been happy to have kept my personal life private for that very reason. Because it's personal life and I have always considered myself a private person. But, living as myself without discussing my sexuality publicly would have been as impossible. One chance to expose the truth would have been a payday for any greedy opportunist.

I went to American Idol, much like many of us did "back in the day". Naive. Unlike the contestants who join up today, we had no idea of the power and pull of Idol when we signed on. (I'm sure many of us season two folks like to think we are the reason the show got so big!!! ) There I was two months off of the biggest show in the country, sitting at a table with a reporter from Rolling Stone who was asking me every single question I would never think of. Twenty-four years old in the rest of America is a LOT younger and more naive than twenty four years old in the media business. So when this guy started asking me about things that I didn't really know how to answer for myself... things that I was not yet ready to admit to folks like my mother and my family.... things that I found intimidating and invasive, I responded in what I assumed was a benign way at the time. I attempted to "out spin" a professional. I wasn't as good as I thought I was. But, I have no regrets. The truth is, I don't apologize for the responses I gave to that reporter or any reporter over the past five years. I did make every attempt I could after that one interview to never say "I am not gay" or "I am straight". And I never said either. (some interpreted my vague answers to mean that... but I never said either) Some will say thats misleading. In truth, it might be defined that way. But, a better definition and a more accurate way to describe it for me, is a redirection and an attempt to change the topic to something that matters more. For some of you it won't be enough, but I can't apologize for keeping my personal business to myself. If someone feels that they were mislead, I can totally understand that viewpoint and apologize for that feeling, but I can't apologize for how I handled questions that affected me and my right to privacy.

In my opinion, sexual orientation is ALWAYS a private thing. I think the OVERWHELMING majority of people agree with that. Why in the world should someone's sexual orientation be a news item? Why should anyone care? Yet, for all we espouse as a society about tolerance and open mindedness we forget to allow folks the opportunity to be who they are without judgement. Making a decision to come out to family is a difficult and heavy decision. But, for every young man or woman who is struggling with it, it should be a decision that is made on his or her own schedule ONLY. It's never acceptable for anyone to make such a decision for anyone else nor to coerce someone to take such a significant step before they are ready. Not a friend, not a stranger, not the media. So, I waited until the time was right for me. For that I can't apologize either.

There are plenty of you who have anticipated this blog in hopes that I would "set the record straight" or "admit to lying for five years and apologize for it". For that small group of people, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decisions over the past five years have been made with lots of deliberation and at times even heartache. Always with concern for folks who might feel mislead. Don't doubt that. But they have also been made as an attempt, not to hide my true self, but instead to allow myself the same liberties and rights that every single gay man and woman in the world should have... the right to determine for myself when I was ready to discuss my personal life. In as much as that, at times, was interpreted as misrepresentation, I feel badly. But I reserved that right for myself and I can't say I regret it.

I have endeavored over the past several days to allow folks to vent and express themselves as freely as possible without restriction on these message boards. There is no way to change a person's mind when you tell them they are wrong. We all, when backed into a corner, have a human instinct to swing. Having different feelings and opinions and viewpoints are only natural. The only way to deal with that is to accept everyone's right to disagree, and allow them to discuss their feelings. I always have, and I always will. That said, it hasn't been, nor do I imagine it will be, my intent to make the message boards or the OFC a clearinghouse or discussion zone for sexuality or such topics. I hope we can always continue to discuss the same things we have always found important. The need for inclusion for children with disabilities. The desire to make sure every child in the world has access to their basic needs for survival. And any other topics that will make our neighborhoods, our regions, our country and our world a better more acceptable place (where that relates to issues involving sexuality, I hope we are able to advocate, at those times for the acceptance of others)... and I hope we will all still use the message boards for the lively discussion of the need for better entertainment and music in the world!!!! That said, as of this posting, I have asked the moderators to archive the thread regarding the People magazine article and close it from discussion. For those of you who are still struggling, I encourage you to continue to talk to your friends and neighbors and fellow OFC members in the thread devoted to such support. It is not going to be as easy as accepting something over night, but I believe that we are on the right track. The moderators will resume their regular duties of moderating the boards in the fashion that they did prior to last week, and I (and hopefully all of us) will resume our routines in the same fashion as well. Talking about music, talking about potential tours and other performances and appearances, talking about me forgetting my lines of tripping on stage in Spamalot, and discussing with our friends how many times we have seen the show and will see it! (And... looking forward to the announcement of out Playbill contest winner!!!)

Finally, I will say that, also representative of most every other gay man and woman in the world, that I am not defined by my sexuality. No more so than each of you are defined by your sexual orientation. No more than a man or woman is defined by race or ethnicity. It is, simply, a small facet of the same person I have always been. Most of you realize that nothing has changed. I hope to continue being able to entertain you in the same way I have for the past five years. And I hope you will allow me to continue to inform you of the causes that I find important and entertain you with the music and performances I love. For I love and cherish you all. Yesterday, now and forever.

c"

[Broadwaynerd101]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 12:26pm

"I'm posting it here because he's part of the Broadway community now and does have fans on this board."

He could replace Patti Lupone in Gypsy and I still wouldn't consider him part of the Broadway community!

[antonijan]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 12:39pm

Who is next to come out?

[blaxx]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 1:00pm

I wonder if Claymates will ever have to stop defending him so desperately forever.

[synecdoche]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 1:03pm

"I wonder if Claymates will ever have to stop defending him so desperately forever."

Please, God.

[BrodyFosse123]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 1:14pm

I miss Cartwheel. Ever since Miss Aiken came out, Cartwheel hasn't posted again.

I guess Miss Aiken's revelation tore the entire Claymate clan to shreads, especially after they endlessly attempted to disclaim any and all rumors of his sexual preference.

The world's reaction has shown that they could care less about his sexual preference. Claymates should as well.

[synecdoche]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 1:22pm

"I guess Miss Aiken's revelation tore the entire Claymate clan to shreads, especially after they endlessly attempted to disclaim any and all rumors of his sexual preference.

The world's reaction has shown that they could care less about his sexual preference. Claymates should as well."

Actually Cartwheel has posted here since he came out and she was as much of a jerk as usual. I think she got the thread deleted.

And as someone who reads most of the Clay fanboards, I can tell you that the fandom isn't at all torn to shreds. The vast majority of Clay's fans took the news just fine. Most saying the equivalent of "We love you no matter what. Good for you on coming out." Clay even posted he was speechless after reading the overwhelming outpouring of support on his board.

A very, very small group of his fans are either pissed off or upset or both, but they were mainly the ones who were the most vocal about defending Clay as "straight, straight, straight!" to anyone and everyone for the last few years. Unfortunately, because they were the vocal ones, they're the ones everyone thinks of when they think of Clay fans.

I guess you could say we've got an image problem :)

[broadwayboy101]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 1:43pm

I was trying to think of other celebrities that have never explicitly said "I'm not gay" or "I'm straight" when their sexual orientation has come up, and I realized...has anyone ever heard Zac Efron say either of those?

[JEK216]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 2:37pm

synecdoche - As much as I love Clay (and I do), I think this thread should have been started on the off-topic board, on this site. This is not about Broadway (even though Clay happens to be in a Broadway show at the moment). I also would not characterize him as a member of the Broadway community. Not just yet. I see him as a TV personality/Singer/Entertainer, who is currently in a Broadway musical. But that's just my mileage. Just a question, why did you BOLD certain paragraphs in the blog? Clay didn't.

[synecdoche]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 2:43pm

I didn't think about the off-topic board. It probably would have been better there. Sorry.

I bolded the parts that spoke to me and that I felt might speak to some here. However, I noted in my original post that any bolding was mine. There should be no confusion.

[synecdoche]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 2:48pm

"I also would not characterize him as a member of the Broadway community. Not just yet. I see him as a TV personality/Singer/Entertainer, who is currently in a Broadway musical."

That's a subjective call. Over the last 4 years he's performed on Broadway in several galas and benefits, he's been signed to play a lead in a Broadway show and later called back to the show to reprise the roll, he's raised tons of money for BC/EFA. I see him as part of the Broadway community. It's fine that you feel that way. Many others do as well, I'm sure. Others feel differently.

[Cartwheel]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 4:55pm

"Actually Cartwheel has posted here since he came out and she was as much of a jerk as usual. I think she got the thread deleted. "

I sure wish I was all powerful like that, but I think you're giving me too much credit. It's not like I was talking to myself in that thread.

Thanks for posting Clay's blog. I hope it will help people to understand him better.

[hermionejuliet]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 6:13pm

You're not supposed to post his blogs outside of the fan club. I think it is a wonderful blog, and I highly respect what he said. But...just sayin' --- it's against the rules.

In my opinion, one role in a Broadway show does not make him part of the broadway community. Though the community seems to be welcoming him, and I'd love to see him in more roles...

[Cartwheel]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 6:20pm

"You're not supposed to post his blogs outside of the fan club. I think it is a wonderful blog, and I highly respect what he said. But...just sayin' --- it's against the rules. "

Fan club moderators said that this blog entry can travel.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 6:43pm

You'd think with all of the important events going on in the world, there would be plenty to fill up the pages of America's newspapers, websites and blogs without the need for information on the private lives of the country's singers and entertainers. But, alas, thats never the case.

Says the man who came out holding his infant on the cover People.

In my opinion, sexual orientation is ALWAYS a private thing. I think the OVERWHELMING majority of people agree with that.

What you DO sexually may be a private thing if you choose to make it so, but no, sexual orientation is almost always NOT a private thing. I know the sexual orientation of probably 90% of the people I encounter in this world simply from context clues.

[hermionejuliet]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 6:55pm

But shouldn't when and how you come out be up to you? I think that is what he is talking about. The privacy to decide when and how to share your orientation. If people are making assumptions or guesses (inevitable), that's their problem...

[Broadwaynerd101]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 7:29pm

"Though the community seems to be welcoming him"

HA!!!!

[hermionejuliet]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 7:34pm

I meant the cast members who have had nice things to say about him and the reviewers who didn't tear him apart---- not the fans on a message board. ::rolls eyes::

Updated On: 10/4/08 at 07:34 PM

[Dolly_Levi]

Posted: 10/4/08 at 7:54pm

Thanks for posting this. I appreciate what he said there.