Facebook & Celebrity Friends

[Eris0303]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 12:25pm

I'm posting this on the main board as opposed to the OT one since it deals with performers and not just facebook. In the past we've discussed friending performers on facebook, sharing information they post, and even gifting performers. But there's something else I've been noticing and I wanted to see what other people thought about it. People sending friend requests to the friends of performers.

I'm going to pick to on fellow posters who have been chosen randomly for an example:

Let's say Millie is a performer on Broadway and I'm me - an average nobody. We're friendly aquaintances but not "besties". We talk on facebook a little bit but not overly often. Millie lets fans have access to her facebook and Taz sends her a friend request. She accepts Taz and he sees that I've posted on Millie's page. So he sends me a friend request. I don't know Taz and Taz doesn't know me.

I just think we're getting into the realm of "too much" with this. There is the need to know every little thing about a performer and it's becoming a problem. Is it the hope to catch the performer saying something on a friend's page that they might not normally say on their own where there are fans present?

Should people who are simply friendly aquaintances of performers have to put up with the same stuff the performers do? Should they have to give up their own privacy just because they know someone?

[Yero my Hero]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 12:27pm

I think it might be as simple as, "Hey, that person is a fan of Millie, too, I bet we'd have a lot in common!" But depending on the motivation, it can seem creepy.

For me, it started to feel a little "too much" when I logged on to my account and one of the first updates in my News Feed was, "Heidi Blickenstaff is now friends with Alice Ripley."

[LeaGirl]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 12:28pm

Easy answer - just don't accept Taz's friend request. (edited to fix typo!)

Updated On: 11/10/09 at 12:28 PM

[Eris0303]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 12:40pm

I think it might be as simple as, "Hey, that person is a fan of Millie, too, I bet we'd have a lot in common!" But depending on the motivation, it can seem creepy.

I have considered that but it gets a little muddied. The first time it happened to me I decided to let the young girl on my page only to be inundated with messages and IMs about and she was going to marry the person I know. I deleted her and got friend requests every day. Even after blocking her she'd make a new account and send more requests.

Easy answer - just don't accept Taz's friend request. (edited to fix typo!)

Which is the route I would take.

[legally_popular]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 12:55pm

I added this person on facebook who seemed to be a big Broadway fan so I thought it would be cool. She apparently saw my pictures from backstage at Next to Normal... she casually IMed me on there one time and we were talking and whatnot. Then she kept trying to bring Aaron Tveit into the conversation, which I thought was odd (and annoying). She kept going on and on about how hot he was. She asked me a million questions about being backstage with him and about our conversation. The best was when she asked me if I would call her on the phone next time I saw him so she could talk to him on the phone. WTF?

[avab802]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 2:06pm

For me, it started to feel a little "too much" when I logged on to my account and one of the first updates in my News Feed was, "Heidi Blickenstaff is now friends with Alice Ripley."

I got that one too, lol. I didn't find it to be "too much" though, just random/funny.

The best was when she asked me if I would call her on the phone next time I saw him so she could talk to him on the phone. WTF?

It cracks me up when I see people do this at the stage door, especially when the performer has a "WTF?" look on their face at being asked. This, I think, is too much.

My general rule of thumb for Facebook is that I only accept friend requests from (or send them to) people I actually know/have met in real life, or have spoken to online enough that I can match up their real name to their screen name. I'm "friends" with a few Broadway performers but I rarely, if ever, converse with them or comment on their pages. I mostly just like to get their status updates because they'll post about new projects. All of the performer's pages I've ever seen use them more as a promotional tool; they don't post anything too personal.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 2:24pm

I agree that it seems kind of creepy. I don't even like friend requesting for celebrities, unless I am absolutely sure they are okay with it.

[legally_popular]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 2:25pm

Yeah, I used to be against adding performers as friends because I felt funny and thought it was too weird, but now I am friends with a couple performers. It's nice to see what they're up to (work-wise, of course). Since a lot of performers don't have official websites, I can find out what their current or future projects are with facebook. Also, if an understudy in a show is going on in a certain role, for instance, they will usually make a status update about it so it's nice for the fans to know. Or if an actor will be out or on vacation for certain dates. that's good too. I'm not one of those people who write on their wall acting like I'm BFF with them, LOL.

[James885]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 2:48pm

I usually don't add people as facebook friends unless I actually know them and they know me. Adding celebrities as friends on facebook has always seemed a little creepy to me. Maybe it's because you always hear about those fangirls/fanboys who add an actor or musician or whatever as their facebook friend and then think that they're suddenly best buddies with them.

I guess if the actor's using their page for self-promotion and/or to get information out about their current and/or upcoming projects and such, it's okay, but there are way too many people who become facebook friends with performers and then try to take it to the next level.

Updated On: 11/10/09 at 02:48 PM

[Eris0303]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 2:51pm

I agree that it seems kind of creepy. I don't even like friend requesting for celebrities, unless I am absolutely sure they are okay with it.

I don't friend anyone I don't personally know. Most "big" performers have fan groups on facebook and those are the better place to meet other fans if that's what you want to do. And if a performer you like doesn't have a fan group you can start one yourself.

[James885]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 3:02pm

^^^
Great point Eris.

[Yero my Hero]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 3:11pm

Facebook doesn't let you create a Fan Page for just anyone anymore. You have to "prove" to Facebook's satisfaction that you are an authorized representative of the person/company/product/entity/whatever that the page is for.

Unless they changed the rules again since this summer.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 3:50pm

So, they didn't delete the other ones either? I actually was pretty sure that Kristin Chenoweth's was run by her management, until they came out and said it was fan based. They had her manager's name and everything on there, which I think is very misleading.

[Eris0303]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 4:11pm

Facebook doesn't let you create a Fan Page for just anyone anymore. You have to "prove" to Facebook's satisfaction that you are an authorized representative of the person/company/product/entity/whatever that the page is for.

I didn't know that. I've never made one but I know of people who have.

[HollyGolightly2]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 4:19pm

I don't friend anyone I don't personally know. Most "big" performers have fan groups on facebook and those are the better place to meet other fans if that's what you want to do.

Same here. And if you want updates on the performer, to converse with fellow fans, share pictures, ask questions, and generally obsess over the performer, a fan group is the place to do it.

[winston89]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 4:49pm

I think that it is one thing to add a Broadway performer as a Facebook friend when you know that they are okay with adding fans to see their page. However, I think that it is something else altogether to use a Broadway performer's Facebook as a way to network and meet and interact with those you don't know. I mean with any of my other friends who I do interact with on Facebook they all have people on there that I don't know at all. However, I just don't up and go request to see their profile etc.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/10/09 at 9:29pm

This thread intensifies my already-in-progress headache.

[TulitaPepsi]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 8:48am

Several Broadway people have hidden accounts that can't be seen by anyone except their friends (and not friends-of-friends). Sutton & Cheyenne are on Facebook, but Cheyenne had to hide when he began recieving barrages of droolingly lurid messages from people he didn't know.

(And I'm not friends with either)

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 11:04am

Heh, I stumbled upon a multi-Tony winning actress's Facebook by accident once.

Easy answer - just don't accept Taz's friend request.

It's not that easy, though. Once the fans know the friend exists, then all the actor's friends have to start blocking their own Facebooks so only friends can see. It places an unnecessary burden on the actors and all their friends and family to protect themselves just because some idiot fans have no concept of what is appropriate.

[scripps]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 12:54pm

... so does all this mean I shouldn't add Marian Seldes as a friend on Facebook?
Updated On: 11/11/09 at 12:54 PM

[Kad]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 1:03pm

"Several Broadway people have hidden accounts that can't be seen by anyone except their friends (and not friends-of-friends). Sutton & Cheyenne are on Facebook, but Cheyenne had to hide when he began recieving barrages of droolingly lurid messages from people he didn't know. "

Some are also on Facebook under pseudonyms, which I think is a clever way to ensure that only people they know can find them.

As for the original question- absolutely not. Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to their own privacy- no should HAVE to put up with anything via Facebook.

[Eris0303]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 1:27pm

I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful answers to this. When I started a thread I was hoping for an honest discussion on privacy and how the internet has changed being a "fan".

Once the fans know the friend exists, then all the actor's friends have to start blocking their own Facebooks so only friends can see.

This happened to me. I was denying friend requests from a performer's fans every single day and when I wouldn't "friend" them they started spreading rumors about my sleeping with another performer. I didn't even know these people and they were talking about me.

... so does all this mean I shouldn't add Marian Seldes as a friend on Facebook?

You can. Just don't friend her best friend Tootie.

Some are also on Facebook under pseudonyms, which I think is a clever way to ensure that only people they know can find them.

I know of a few who perform under their maiden name but their facebooks are under their married name.

[TulitaPepsi]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 2:08pm

Victor Garber had a very deceptive page that was really thrown together by an slightly stalkery fangurl who made it look like it was run by Garber himself.

[wendilin622]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 2:54pm

I just think its sad that some performers are nice enough to put themselves out there and make themselves accessible for their fans and some people take it so far. I am friends with a few performers (none of whom I personally know) on Facebook. I do enjoy the video and update posts about what they are doing, etc. But I have gotten two friend requests from people I don't know who have those friends in common. I rejected both of them but its weird I would get those considering the fact I don't even know the performers either.

It's just sad that when you give people a little, they think they are entitled to so much more.

[sking]

Posted: 11/11/09 at 3:12pm

"This happened to me. I was denying friend requests from a performer's fans every single day and when I wouldn't "friend" them they started spreading rumors about my sleeping with another performer. I didn't even know these people and they were talking about me. "

Wow...reading this and the other examples makes me feel MUCH better at my present level of obsessiveness for Billy Elliot...this is just...wow. I dont care how many times you've seen an actor, spoke to them at the SD, etc etc I am a FAN...not a friend!!! All actors really should just set up fan sites(on facebook or blogs) and hide DEEP any personal sites. Otherwise just give up, at a certain point the threads become viral and its impossible for a rational person to read them (Fan or not 200 plus posts on claims of future marriage makes an ice pick to eyes look pretty good). I do eat up personal info IF its being openly given BUT really its a baddd idea, esp. when you get messages "where is that?".

So as a mantra"Im a FAN not a FRIEND" repeat as required(and repeat to friends going over the edge).Too bad this is preaching to the choir.