Funny "Avenue Q" Quotes?

#1

Funny "Avenue Q" Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:01pm

I know there's probably been a thread like this before, but I don't want to search for it for ten minutes of my life. My favorite is "I'm gonna jump!"
"Don't do it!"
"Okay!"

---

I know this groc'ry clerk...

#2

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:02pm

I can tell just by looking that you've got it hard for me

Grab you dick and double click

....and then there was the line i cant remember about green pubic hair.

#3

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:05pm

Sweet suffering Jesus! Nicky AND Ricky?! Ooh, my cup runneth over!!

---

And the other thing about the Phantom Lady was, Bert, she realized, in the city that never sleeps... What did she realize, Kitten? That all the songs she'd listened to, all the love songs, that they were only songs. What's wrong with that? Nothing, if you don't believe in them. But she did, you see. She believed in enchanted evenings, and she believed that a small cloud passed overhead and cried down on a flower bed, and she even believed there was breakfast to be had... Where? On Pluto. The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.

#4

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:07pm

Every f*cking line of that show is a laugh riot.

#5

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:09pm

oh, i have another one!
"Guys, guys! Jesus was Jewish!"
"Blyan! come back here! you take the lecyrabres!"

---

I know this groc'ry clerk...

#6

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:12pm

i love the line, I know I will take what i learned and put it in a show!! then brian says are you high???

but that whole show is hysterical

---

"But I relish every brillant inspired moment. This is who I'm determined to be- an actor/singer/dancer-no, I take that back, this is who I am. These people are my tribe, my destiny. I know it. -How I Paid for College; A story of sex, theft, friendship and musical theater.

#7

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:13pm

"Sometimes people need time for learning. People always learning all though their life. Look at Mama Bird; she push Baby out of nest and that's it. If Baby Bird fly, good for Baby. If Baby Bird fall and crack head on ground and get eaten by Cat, then he need to do better next time."

#8

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 9:35pm

I second the "doubleclick" line!!

Also, "Hell, no, I won't tell them to quiet down!" makes me burst out laughing.

---

"During this performance, please feel free to let your cell phones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily-armed knights on stage and you might well be dragged up and impaled." (Pre-curtain announcement at the new Broadway musical Monty Python's Spamalot)

#9

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 10:10pm

the whole show is just amazing but i love it's only for now George Bush!

---

"At the opening night party, they had clowns on stilts, jugglers, a chocolate fountain, popcorn, hot dogs. [My son] looked at me like I had been holding back. Like, 'This is what you do?' I had to tell him, 'No, no, darling. Opening nights don't usually look like this.' It's usually a dark bar with a bottle of vodka." ?Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's Jan Maxwell plus i proudly share the title of the shortest member over the age of 10 with wickedrentq!

#10

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 10:23pm

"Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card!

But Kate, what you think he do after? Hmmm?

Yeaaaaah...

EEEEEWWW!!!" :)

#11

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 10:47pm

For me, I can't pick one line from Avenue Q. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE LINE! I absolutely adore the bad Idea bears tho!!

But as for Yankeefan- *we all know there is no life outside of my apartment hence the fact that I memorized the whole entire show...that means dialouge too
As for the green pubic hair statement: "This morning I take a shower and I pick up soap and I say 'Who putting all this green pubic hair on darn soap!!' It not belong to me, it not belong to Blyian- who could it be? I about to PUKING!!!!

---

People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

Updated On: 1/29/05 at 10:47 PM

#12

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 11:09pm

broadwaystar2b put the one I was thinkin of.. it's so funny.

I also like "It's German for happiness at the is fortune of others." "Happiness at the misfortune of others?.. that is Germen"

---

Grace: My love for you is like this scar (points to elbow) ulgy but permanent!

#13

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 11:18pm

"One Night Stand" hahaha

---

awkward.

"I think it was the Korean tour or something. They were all frickin' asian!" -Zoran912

#14

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 11:25pm

I think it's hysterical the way Kate Monster says, "I hate porn".

#15

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 11:38pm

What are some good quotes that aren't on the cast recording?

---

I want to write music. I want to sit down right now at my piano and write a song that people will listen to and remember and do the same thing every morning...for the rest of my life. - Jonathan Larson. Tick, Tick...BOOM!

#16

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/28/05 at 11:55pm

!!!!!SPOILER!!!!!!



When you first hear that the teacher who Kate Monster assists name is Mrs. Thistletwat.

---

And if she'll say, "My darling, I'm yours!" I'll throw away my striped tie and my best pressed tweed, all I really need is the girl...

#17

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 1:04am

The whole one night stand thing had me falling out of my seat with laughter...

#18

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 1:18am

Schneb- I hate to do this and I'm sorry but if you didn't see my post a few above your's the actual words are:

"This morning I take a shower and I pick up soap and I say 'Who putting all this green pubic hair on darn soap!!' It not belong to me, it not belong to Blyian- who could it be? I about to PUKING!!!!

I've memorized the whole diolouge as I know how sad that is..but true.

---

People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

#19

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 9:29am

Being a Kindergarten teacher myself, I am sort of partial to:

Princeton: "What are you doing tonight?"
Kate: "Grading term papers. But it's Kindergarten, so they're very short"

#20

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 6:12pm

i love in ISTBM when they're all dancing and doing their "da da da da das" and rod is the last one and he goes: "da da da da!" i guess it's too hard to type. but go listen to it! it's hilarious!

"who painted the kitten?"

"there's a pigeon squashed on the street. ew."

---

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

#21

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 6:18pm

"You do such ANAL things like ironing your underwear!!"

---

Dirty Rotten Scoundrals Program: $10 Dirty Rotten Scoundrals Window Poster: $15 Winning the lottery with your friend: Priceless (+ $25) I<3NY

Updated On: 1/29/05 at 06:18 PM

#22

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 6:35pm

yes, reeder, i love the short term paper business also! i work in an elementary school also :)

---

RIP glebby <3

#23

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 8:44pm

I forget exactly how it goes but:

Rod: But I'm not an artist. I'm an investment banker. And a Republican.

Christmas Eve: Oh...then stay in closet.

---

A little swash, a bit of buckle - you'll love it more than bread.

#24

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 8:45pm

I loved John's facial expressions whenever Rod had to say "sh*t"
They were so cute!

---

And the other thing about the Phantom Lady was, Bert, she realized, in the city that never sleeps... What did she realize, Kitten? That all the songs she'd listened to, all the love songs, that they were only songs. What's wrong with that? Nothing, if you don't believe in them. But she did, you see. She believed in enchanted evenings, and she believed that a small cloud passed overhead and cried down on a flower bed, and she even believed there was breakfast to be had... Where? On Pluto. The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.

#25

re: Funny 'Avenue Q' Quotes?

Posted: 1/29/05 at 9:03pm

EVERYTHING in that damn show!!

---

Peter: Oh my god, Brian! My Alphabits are sending me a secret message! They say "oooooooooo!" Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.