HEDWIG may have been overhyped (I might agree with that assessment... I greatly enjoyed it but it isn't the greatest thing out right now) but it's still miles better than IF/THEN, which isn't even a hot mess. Just a mess.
VIOLET would be my recommendation, unless the music or story of HEDWIG resonate enough within you to splurge on the ticket prices if you can. That's the biggest factor, honestly. But VIOLET was my favorite of the three.
Words don't deserve that kind of malarkey. They're innocent, neutral, precise, standing for this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners knocked off, they're no good anymore…I don't think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.