#51
Posted: 4/20/14 at 7:28pm
I have very strong and negative opinions of cheating and cheaters, but I do find that I give more of a pass to women (or women characters) roughly 4 or more decades ago (or who entered into their marriages 4 or more decades ago, during a time when women's opportunities to financially support themselves in most careers were so limited that getting married was very nearly their only option for finding financial security because they were not welcomed in most workplaces.
I would have a very different opinion of a woman who cheats now (who married within the last, say, 30 years) or of a man cheating during any time in history, since men never really were prevented from financially supporting themselves, so could always wait for love before getting married from a financial security standpoint (maybe not from an arranged marriage standpoint in some cultures, but that is not the cultural context of Bridges so not applicable here).
So bottom line, I don't really react so badly to Francesca's affair, realizing that her only way to get away from Italy was to marry her way out, as she couldn't study to become a scientist or businesswoman or whatever and get a job in the US in order to relocate there. I do feel a bit bad for her husband in that scenario, but he is more a victim of society's oppression of women (as Francesca is in being financially forced to get married in the first place) than of his wife's actions in this particular scenario.
I see it as somewhat analagous to the suffering of straight spouses when gay spouses marry them pretending to be straight - the straight spouse suffers from society's oppression of their spouses more than from targeted cruelty of their spouses (although arguably gay men would not have had to marry women for financial security whereas lesbian women would have had more of a need to do so back in the day (unless they could be financially supported by relatives). Like the problem of women being denied financial security through work, hopefully this issue will continue to wane over time. Certainly it is less of an issue in North America than it used to be, but there is a long way to go in some places in the world.
I would have a very different opinion of a woman who cheats now (who married within the last, say, 30 years) or of a man cheating during any time in history, since men never really were prevented from financially supporting themselves, so could always wait for love before getting married from a financial security standpoint (maybe not from an arranged marriage standpoint in some cultures, but that is not the cultural context of Bridges so not applicable here).
So bottom line, I don't really react so badly to Francesca's affair, realizing that her only way to get away from Italy was to marry her way out, as she couldn't study to become a scientist or businesswoman or whatever and get a job in the US in order to relocate there. I do feel a bit bad for her husband in that scenario, but he is more a victim of society's oppression of women (as Francesca is in being financially forced to get married in the first place) than of his wife's actions in this particular scenario.
I see it as somewhat analagous to the suffering of straight spouses when gay spouses marry them pretending to be straight - the straight spouse suffers from society's oppression of their spouses more than from targeted cruelty of their spouses (although arguably gay men would not have had to marry women for financial security whereas lesbian women would have had more of a need to do so back in the day (unless they could be financially supported by relatives). Like the problem of women being denied financial security through work, hopefully this issue will continue to wane over time. Certainly it is less of an issue in North America than it used to be, but there is a long way to go in some places in the world.
Updated On: 4/20/14 at 07:28 PM