PG2 Visits the "West Side" and Writes a Strongly Worded Letter to Arthur La

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:23pm

Dear Mr. Laurents,

First off, let me congratulate you. 90 years old and still directing shows? How do you do it! Casting Patti LuPone in your wonderful Gypsy revival was, as the Sharks would say in your new production of "West Side Story", fantastico. (Ask Lin to translate that one for you.) I hope I'm still alive and kickin' when I'm your age. Living in Key Biscayne and roaming the beach with a metal detector might be nice too.

I love West Side Story. Love it to death. Love it love it love it love it. I saw your revival today, Arthur. My hands were literally shaking as I heard the first notes of that famous "Prologue". I was in the balcony box, Arthur. Were you there? Did you see me? I would have said hello.

Here's the thing, Arthur. When this revival was first announced, you said you wanted to (and I paraphrase) make it "gritty and dangerous". Maybe you forgot, Arthur (my grandpa forgot my name sometimes in his later years), but West Side Story features ballet-dancing gangs who use words like "frabbo jabbo", "ever-lovin'", and "buddy-boy". I felt more grit standing in the parking garage after the show, and more dangerousness when we were going 10 over the speed limit on the way home. But I commend your efforts, especially the casting of Curtis Holbrook as Action (he was great- deserves a Tony nomination) and his makeup (that gash looked so real!). Putting him in a wifebeater was nice, especially in contrast to some of the other cast members in your Abercrombie commercial (whoops- I mean show). But I'll get to that later. Casting Josefina Scaglione was a good choice - she's a delight! And Karen Olivo too...I smell a Tony! Anyone who says she can't dance is a jealous old queen. If only that chilling "rape scene" (gritty and dangerous! Just yank A-Rab's pants all the way down) could make it onto the Tony broadcast.

But Matt Cavenaugh, Cody Green and George Akram? Arthur, I'm sure you're aware that Broadway, since its beginnings, has had a glut of young, out-of-work, poor actors in the "Tony", "Riff", and "Bernardo" mold. So why these three? No offense, Arthur, but actors don't put out for parts these days (well, except for Laura Bell Bundy, but that's a tale for another thread). You obviously had another reason for casting them. To be honest, I have no earthly idea why. Cavenaugh sings like he's on the world's bumpiest rollercoaster and has zero stage presence or chemistry. I have never tried harder at anything in my life than trying not to laugh at Cavenaugh's squeaky "Chino?"

Maybe you can't completely reshape an actor's performance in previews. (You're the expert, not I). But one thing you CAN do is change the costumes. And believe me, that makes all the difference. (When I saw the hopeful young cast of Glory Days in jeans and T-shirts during previews, the whole show didn't work. But when I saw them in Times Square the week after opening in Igor outfits hawking "Young Frankenstein" tickets? Well, I actually considered buying "Young Frankenstein" tickets!) I mentioned before I liked Holbrook's fake gash and wife beater. MAKE ALL THE JETS WEAR THOSE. Sorry, got a little outta hand there. See, I just want to help you, Arthur. I want to make your show better. Anyways, yeah. Get those chorus boys outta those vests and slacks and into some dirty shirts and jeans with chains hanging out of them! And for the love of God, someone run a comb through Karen Olivo's hair.

Don't get me wrong. There are certain parts of WSS you CAN'T screw up, no matter how egomaniacal and self-important a director you are. The Tonight Quintet? Awesome. Dance at the Gym? Awesome. (Screw you all, Karen Olivo can DAY-UNCE better than I will ever do anything.) America? A-W-S-O-E. (I took out the E because of that random Shark girl sitting on the steps for half the number, and the M because it reminds me of Matt Cavenaugh. I, for all intents and purposes, had a fun afternoon. Although that may have been helped by the turistas (ask Lin again) in Times Square who thought "Tony and Tina's Wedding" was an actual wedding that was going on in Times Square. Delightful.

As for all the big changes that have been controversial here? The elimination of the Nightmare Ballet? The changed ending? The Espanol? (I hope you know that one. If not, I'm sure you have Lin on speed-dial by now.) Let me just say something to the haters out there. Yeah, you're damn right. Whoa, sorry, getting a little outta control there. Think I forgot to take my meds. God f'ing dammit, you selfish, crusty, over-the-hill queen. You sat in the back and wrote your little book while Jerome Robbins made theater history. And you've always hated him for it. Let me tell you something, you selfish little man. A revival of one of America's most beloved musicals will not be your final lash at a man you always envied. For most of the people in that theater (myself included), it was our first Broadway production of WSS. Your little chinks in the armor, your little "see-what-you-can-get-away-with" stunts, can't destroy one of the greatest musicals of all time. But you tried your darndest, didn't cha? You can top a cupcake with dog stool, but at the end of the day there's still a cupcake under there, and it's DELICIOUS. It's the best thing you've ever tasted, Arthur. All you have to do is scrape off the dog stool some egomaniacal director with a penchant for doing chorus boys put there.

Brava, Arthur.


Brava.

Updated On: 3/8/09 at 08:23 PM

[ljay889]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:36pm

ook out the E because of that random Shark girl sitting on the steps for half the number,


- I believe that random girl is part of Robbin's original staging.

[CSonBroadway]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:37pm

Haha!

[Pianolin717]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:37pm

"I believe that random girl is part of Robbin's original staging."

I think so too, because I saw another production and they had her do the same thing and it was totally odd, but, w/e

also,
Its Bravo, not Brava

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:40pm

"Bravo" is for males

"Brava" is for females.

I think PG2 was being sarcastic.

Updated On: 3/7/09 at 08:40 PM

[CSonBroadway]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:41pm

So...you basically liked the show except for the male leads and the elimination of the nightmare..right?

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:41pm

Read it again, dear.

Also, the show curtain was a lovely red.

[CSonBroadway]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:43pm

How was the view from the balcony boxes?

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:45pm

Arthur's from before show curtains and ambiance. He can't be bothered with little details.

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:45pm

Just fine. If I was just a little farther left, I could have gotten a better view of Arthur making desperate passes at some of the Jet boys.

Precious!

[Robert Taylor]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 8:53pm

Brilliant.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:07pm

Your review would benefit from the elimination of the gratuitous references to having sex with chorus boys.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:07pm

"You can top a cupcake with dog stool, but at the end of the day there's still a cupcake under there, and it's DELICIOUS."

A dreadful metaphor. Who would stick around to find out if a cupcake is delicious if there was dog feces on it? Not surprised Robert Taylor finds it brilliant; metaphors are not his strongest suit.

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:08pm

Why deny the truth? I like it. (The chorus boys, not the poop.)
Updated On: 3/7/09 at 09:08 PM

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:09pm

You like PG2's review or you like WSS?

[Robert Taylor]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:13pm

Hey creepy stalker guy! Great to see you wasting time slinging mud instead of doing something productive with your life. Keep up the great work!

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:14pm

Hey creepy stalker guy! Great to see you wasting time slinging mud instead of doing something productive with your life. Keep up the great work!

Are you talking to me?

[DAME]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:17pm

"You can top a cupcake with dog stool, but at the end of the day there's still a cupcake under there, and it's DELICIOUS."

That is the money quote for the NY Times ad right after it opens.

Updated On: 3/7/09 at 09:17 PM

[Robert Taylor]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:20pm

Not you, PiraguaGuy2. I like you.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:21pm

Don't stalk Robert Taylor PG2!

And if you want to know the truth, I read the entirety of the thread, decided I was going to post what a dreadful metaphor he used, hit reply, and lo and behold in the meantime you, Robert Taylor, wrote that it was brilliant. Call it stalking if you want, I call it serendipity of the highest order! The muse descended at the exact moment and gave the perfect coup de post on a silver platter.

[Robert Taylor]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:26pm

What a coincidence Namo! I can't wait to see what other serendipitous encounters we have.

PiraguaGuy2, I've never seen West Side Story produced on a scale larger than a high school musical. Would you recommend that someone who has never seem a Broadway revival of the show go see it or should I not waste my money even though I love the music?

[DAME]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:31pm

"I can't wait to see what other serendipitous encounters we have. "

BOYS.. There are bathhouses for those things. Hmm.. I guess Laurents those have some kind of influence.

[Robert Taylor]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:33pm

Dame, I love it when you make me giggle.
Updated On: 3/7/09 at 09:33 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:35pm

Are you lost? The exit's that way.

[DAME]

Posted: 3/7/09 at 9:39pm

To the left of the lockers.