RENT w/The 'Rents

[EugLoven]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 3:03am

Now that we have the "RENT" DVD in our homes, some of us are finding the opportunity to watch the film with our parents for the first time... like I did tonight.

After the film, I asked my mother: "So what'd you think?"
She shrugged: "Meh... I liked 'Tommy' better."
Me: "Well this is my generation."
She: "And 'Tommy' was mine."

My mom and dad aren't much for words late at night. And while they weren't wow-ed by the movie, I found something else incredibly important in the moment.

I just came out to my family in December. Tonight, neither my mother nor my father left the room or said a word during the entire length of the film. That is the first time that's EVER happened in my life that I can remember.

We haven't said or had too many "gay" conversations since Christmas because I live away from home, I'm very independent, and they trust me and who I am. But tonight was a silent testament. They sat and watched the whole thing, patiently with me, knowing: "If it's important to my 20 year old gay son, then it's important to me."

So in hind-sight, this movie screening in my childhood home was a success. You can't expect all parents to understand or enjoy something as particular as "Rent" but please...

Will any of you share whatever positive experiences you may have had, either in the theatre or on-screen, watching "Rent" with your parents for the first time?
Updated On: 3/11/06 at 03:03 AM

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 4:17am

My family is extremely liberal in every sense of the word.

When I came out to my father senior year of HS, it was in fact him that approached me and told me that he knew I was gay. I was embarrased, and crying - terrified that he wouldn't love me any more. After confronting me, he got up and abruptly left the room. Obviously still hearing my sobs, he looked back at me with a surprise look on his face and said "What?!", in a completely sincere, confused manner. He could tell I was scared, and being totally surprised by my reaction, he said "You actually think this matters? Please, I don't care who you're attracted to - it's just a fact. Be happy, you have nothing to worry about! I don't judge anyone! Now go tell your mother."

Of course, being told that they know you are gay is easier than ctually fessing up yourself, so I was terrified. "It's not big deal, your mom just deseves to know." I couldn't, so he told her for me. My mom came into my bedroom to comfot me. What I found most interesting was that my mother was totally shocked by the news. To make heart of the situation, I said "MOM! I have an autographed CATS poster hanging over my bed! What did you think!" She laughed, and life went on. It's totally fine.

My parents were actually the ones that wanted to see RENT, so I took them and my sister (who was 16 at the time.) They loved the show - every bit of it. Haven't seen the film with them, yet, but they loved the show.

And just last week, my Grandma and her sister (twins - and she's my great aunt) went to see Brokeback Mountain and said it's one of the best modern movies they had ever seen.

So, in answer to your question, my family/parents are completely open and new to anything - and they don't judge. I'm very lucky in that manner.

Posted: 3/11/06 at 4:41am

I actually came on here to start this thread.

Note: Disregard the name, I really need to change it lol...

Anyways I took my parents to see Rent (movie) and I was nervous. My mom knows I'm gay, but she's uber Christian so you know the deal. She loves me, but she doesn't like that I'm gay.

She made this known when Angel first called Collins "honey". She verbally said "HONEY?" which kind of pissed me off. Especially because I was still in mounrning for Angel lol.

She sat in silence for most of the movie, unless something outrageous happened like Idina making out with that woman on Tango Maureen or Angel humping Collins during La Vie Boheme. She definitely clutched onto my stepdad's leg for dear life.

In the end, she said she liked it. I know she really didn't. She doesn't like musicals, especially musical movies, and it had way too much in-your-face things like drugs, AIDS, and homosexual issues for her...It's not that she can't watch and enjoy gay characters. She watches Will & Grace religiously.

I don't know. My stepdad enjoyed it; he even had favorite parts: Tango Maureen & Take Me or Leave Me.

[Bug715]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 7:38am

I'm not gay but I thought I'd add my experience. I saw it on opening night with a friend over thanksgiving break. I loved it so much I wanted to see it again. She wouldn't pay the money to go back and I couldn't find any friends that had time so I decided to get my parents to go. My mom will actually walk out of a movie if she thinks its too offensive and she didn't. Well my dad had the car keys and we both told her we wern't leaving.

She didn't like the Cat Scratch club scenes. She said there could be less in the club (whatever). But I had already warned her about that. I did sheild her eyes for the mooning at the last second cause I had forgotten about that. Yes that was necessary because when we look for a movie for the family to watch it has to be mom approprate which is really hard to find.

My parents liked it. My mom didn't understand why they would live like that with Mark's mom calling and him having such a caring family. My response "Maybe they like not having their parents control everything." Majorly how I was feeling that weekend.

Now the better story is a girl who lives across the hall from me at school. My friend and I went to wal mart at midnight to buy the DVD and came back to watch it. This girl who is a major homophobe (we've had many debates) said she'd watch it with us. It was really funny to watch her on the parts I knew she'd squirm on. She sad she liked it overall but not really the guy on guy or girl on girl parts. Which I expected. She did want a copy of the soundtrack.

[Musical_nerd]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 8:31am

My family didn't like it.

[erinrebecca]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 9:00am

I'm not gay but I'll tell you my experience anyway. :) I first saw Rent shortly after it opened, with my entire family. Since then I've seen it 50+ times, many of those times with either my mom or dad. My mom loves it as much as I do and she has taken so many of her friends to see the show over the years. She's been a theatre fan since she was a kid, and has been involved in AIDS volunteering for twenty years. Her best friend from when she was 12 years old died of AIDS and when he was rejected by his family, she and other friends nursed him until he died. She swore then that she would be involved in some way with helping AIDS patients for the rest of her life. She has many friends who are gay, as do my grandparents, funny as that may seem!

I took my grandparents to see the show about five years ago. They enjoyed it. We have several family friends who have been in it over the years and so it's always been fun to see it with different casts. When the movie came out, both my mom and I saw it first alone/with friends, but then when I got home from college shortly after that, we saw it together because it's always been a bond we have had. My whole family saw it a few times in the theatre and we each have a copy of the dvd now. :)

I'm glad that so many people are able to share it with their families and that it's helping so many kids in the coming out process. I feel so sorry for those kids who are in families whose parents are not accepting of who they are, and are not the tolerant and loving parents that every kid, gay or straight, deserves.

[Parks]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 9:31am

JesusUnlimited--what?! Weren't you saying that RENT and Wicked have Satanic messages? Were you just kidding??

[Piazzaslight]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 9:37am

Parks: I was just thinking the same thing...

My dad didn't really get the show and it's homosexual themes, and that's all I'm going to say.

[timote316]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 10:15am

My family LOVED both the stage and movie versions - like, to the point of obsession. However, at the same time, they are constantly making the typical derogative comments towards gays. It really makes me so irritated.

However, that said, thank you for such a wonderful post, Eug. It's nice to hear that the RENT movie touched someone's life, even though its not particularly well done.

[ihearttheatre]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 10:18am

I'm not gay, but a ridiculously high percentage of my aunts and uncles are (half!). In other words, homosexuality has always been around my family, so we're all very comfortable with it, including my parents and even my grandparents.

That being said, my parent's saw RENT with the original cast, and more recently my mom took me. Neither has seen the DVD yet, but I'm sure they will try their best to enjoy it. The things they both dislike about it have more to do with "Stop complaining, get a job, and pay your bills!" rather than the sexual preference of the characters.

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 10:22am

Jesus Unlimited, you're a pain the the ass. Last week you were a mother protecting your poor daughters...not your a kid, talking about your ultra conserative mother? PLease.

[MusicAndPassion]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 10:37am

The first time I saw Rent on stage was with my mom, and it was her second time. She is in love with the show, understands ever value and message, and has seen the show three times, while I've seen it twice.

For the movie she hasn't seen it yet, but we are pretty anxious to have a family night soon and all of us (me, my brother, her and my father) sit down and watch it. My dad is not looking forward to it.

My brother saw the movie and said it was alright, he liked the music and some characters.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 11:00am

My father saw Rent with me on stage my first time, nearly four years ago. He fell asleep. The only thing that he remembers is Jai Rodriguez as Angel; when Queer Eye premiered, he was like "isn't that the guy in the santa suit?" He picked up on little things over time, I guess. I'd play the CD in the car, and on Roger's songs, he'd go "isn't that the guy from Aida?"

My mother has never seen Rent on stage. For a long time she sort of wanted to, then she said she would do it for me, which is still says, but she just "hasn't gotten around to it yet."

My Spring break began the day after the first time I visited the NYC set, and when I got home, my parents asked how it was. I think I talked for like an hour, or something, and, this is stupid to admit, but there were tears. My parents rarely see me cry unless I'm like.... fighting with them. But certainly not over something like this because it's had a very large impact on me.

So all of the time went by leading up to the movie, and I'd mention in passing that I was going to something Rent-related, and even though my mom had no idea what it was about Rent that people -- me included, obviously -- love so much, she understood that it was important to me, for more reasons than Adam Pascal, his ass, and his arms. I truthfully do think that for a long time, she thought and tried to pass it off on some silly crush. I don't know why. I think she was shocked when I called her after seeing the film, and was quite literally speechless.

I was spending Thanksgiving with some family out-of-town; I had already seen the film, my parents had not. When I got up the day the Life magazine issue came out, someone had left it for me. Some member of my family who vaguely knew I liked Rent. But the night before, someone had mentioned it... asked me if I was "one of those Rent lovers." My mom, who I didn't think paid attention at all, was like "they're called RentHEADS." We had a short conversation about it, and I was really surprised when my entire immediate family and those I was visiting came to watch their episode of The View with me. My aunt kept asking who was who, and my dad sat next to her and explained; pointed out the actors, told her who Adam was and what else he had done -- he was in Aida, he writes music. For someone who fell asleep during the show, and often seems to be asleep when you talk to him about something with any passion, he sure was trying. And he was *interested*.

I took my parents to see the film the following day. I sat between the two of them so I could see their reactions. My father paid such close attention; he even shushed people throughout the film. It was so clear that he was really going to try and make a conscious effort to understand what this was for me. My often-kind-of-insensitive, possibly a little homophobic father. That meant a lot to me, and was entirely baffling to see. After the movie, he hugged me and said he loved it. He even said it was better than the show.

My mother's a cynic. She said she wanted to tell them all to shut up and get jobs. She said she mostly did this for me, and that it hadn't given her any further desire to see the show on stage; if it weren't for me, she'd not be interested in the least.

Maybe she'll come around.

I got a phone call from my father about three weeks ago, to tell me that he was staying at a hotel in the city for business. He wanted to tell me that he had some sort of Broadway channel and that there were old Rent clips playing on it: "Adam and that blonde guy you know!" He was so excited to tell me. When I saw him last week, he asked if I'd bought the DVD yet, and if I would bring it with me next time I went home, because he wants to see it. Something's changed, and that's so, co cool.

Wow, sorry for the length; I had to condense four years!

Updated On: 3/11/06 at 11:00 AM

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 11:12am

Well, my parents have no desire to see it, but I was able to show the movie to my aunt.

Now she had been interested about RENT for a long time, but had never seen it/heard it, so I figured I would show her the movie. I knew she wanted to see it, but I was really afraid of her being let down.

Well, needless to say, she loved it. During, "Without You" when we first see Angel sick, she gasped really loud and said, "She's sick!" and then when Angel died, she had to go into the bathroom because she was crying so hard.

So yeah, she enjoyed the movie, and said that she'll watch it whenever I want to watch it again.

[stanton]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:33pm

Gay people and straight people see the movie differently. Gay people see a movie about love and hope. Most Straight people (Who are un-comfy with gay themes) only see bad relationships, bums that don't work, HIV AIDS and death!


If you just came out to your family this isn't the first movie I would show them! I WOULD SHOW THEM THE CELLULOID CLOSET

Updated On: 3/11/06 at 01:33 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:38pm

Straight people see bad relationships, bums that don't work, HIV AIDS and death!

Excuse me? So we're all cynics?

Updated On: 3/11/06 at 01:38 PM

[stanton]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:41pm

Just most straight people thats what they see

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:43pm

My parents are both VERY conservative. However, I pulled my mother on the RENT bandwagon when the show debuted on Broadway 10 years ago. She's seen it on stage with me 3 or 4 times now. She saw the movie in theaters with me twice, so obviously she didn't take big issue with it. It was a few weeks after it had opened when she saw it, and I had heard all the stories of backlash and was afraid she would be one of those people to get offended. I warned her and told her how I had seen several people react to the film, we came out afterwards and she goes, "People are getting upset about THAT?! Angel and Collins barely even kiss. How ridicious!" That was a relief for me.

My father has never seen the show or the film, or even heard the recordings, and I doubt I will ever attempt to expose him to it. He is in his 70s, and very old-south, the homophobic derogations will start flying immediately.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:44pm

Don't generalize. It's hugely offensive. I doubt you're at authority to make that kind of judgement. Plently of straight people see love and hope; Rent isn't excluve to or only about sexuality.

Those with closed minds and cynicism see lazy bums.

But I guess that's all straight people.

Updated On: 3/11/06 at 01:44 PM

[stanton]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:46pm

Yes I can and I do I have the right to judge! Your too young to know

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:48pm

Excuse me? You've GOT to be kidding. You just made a statement about the great majority of straight people, AND claimed that Rent is exclusively gay. That's absurd.

At least I'm not too young to know how to spell.

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:50pm

"Just most straight people thats what they see"

That is COMPLETELY idiotic. RENT has a very healthy hetero fanbase. Just because someone is hetero doesn't mean they can't understand and appreciate the love in homosexual relationships.

[stanton]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:51pm

Listen lady straight people ( who don't like gay themes) only see the negatives in the movie version of Rent. I deal with this type of crap daily!

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:52pm

"Listen lady straight people ( who don't like gay themes) only see the negatives in the movie version of Rent. I deal with this type of crap daily!"

So instead of heteros it is HOMOPHOBES you're talking about.

If RENT didn't have a healthy hetero fanbase it would not have been able to run for 10 years.

Updated On: 3/11/06 at 01:52 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/11/06 at 1:52pm

Fine. Straight people who are against homosexuality. But not ALL straight people, which you first implied, and it's bullsh*t. You don't want to deal with that crap daily? Comments like your broad generalization perpetuate it. That's so self-righteous.

Broaden your effing vocabulary.

Updated On: 3/11/06 at 01:52 PM