Silliest things said in a theare

[Littleboy]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 5:53pm

know anything ?
this can be silly things in the show, silly things from patrons

[Sutton Ross]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 5:56pm

"Those chicks have nice legs!"

-A teenage bro when Lola and the Angels were dancing on stage during Kinky Boots.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 6:01pm

"I think she is into me!"- My 79 year old dad while chatting it up with one of the Kit Kat Club girls while at a stage side table at Cabaret before the show started.

[FishermanBob]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 6:43pm

You won't believe this but I swear it's true. I once heard an usher say "you're in the 6th row, 3rd and 4th seats in". OMFG, how silly was that. Couldn't stop laughing. Almost spit up my drinkable yogurt.

[Susanswerphone]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 6:57pm

FIRE!

[icecreambenjamin]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 7:02pm

During a local production of Hair
"Let's see who's Jewish."

I laughed for the rest of the show.

Non-stop.

[Susanswerphone]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 8:02pm

^Even if it's not true, it's a great line!^

[icecreambenjamin]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 8:07pm

It's totally true. It was said by a fabulously flaming gay couple that provided some of the greatest commentary. I saw it at Mad Cow Theatre.

I was also at a school production of Charlotte's Web (simply awful) and a large African American woman "accidentally" blurted out the f word at one of her children. it was the most entertaining part of my night.

[Elfuhbuh]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 9:12pm

I think it was when we walked into Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, and as one of the ushers was pointing us to our seats, she said, "Enjoy the show!"

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 9:16pm

Isn't it interesting how "His pants were so tight, you could see his religion" survived, even though +95% of American boys were circumcized beginning during WWII?

[icecreambenjamin]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 9:16pm

^O my...

[Mattbrain]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 9:20pm

I heard a woman refer to a revival as a remake.

[AHLiebross]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 9:20pm

My example isn't something someone said, but a lady's shriek at "The Phantom of the Opera." People often scream when the chandelier comes down, but this lady, who was sitting next to me in the front row, screamed when the police officer popped up from the orchestra pit, right in front of her.

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 9:57pm

While working a box office window I was informed by a ticket buyer that with my blond hair, blue eyes and height, I couldn't possibly know when Passover would be celebrated.

This was silly for several reasons, obviously, but I was content to reply, "Madam, it is my job to know."

[Pootie2]

Posted: 12/16/14 at 10:02pm

Conductor Carmel Dean has heard some fun ones from the pit, which she's tweeted:

"Oh, you're conducting LIVE musicians?!"

"I feel like I'm in an airplane seat. I hope the person in front doesn't recline!"

"Wow, are you a female conductor?" (Carmel): "Last time I checked..."

Lady in 1st row: "Are you sure I'll be able to see from here?"

Old lady pointing to her granddaughters: "We've got a couple of good singers here if things go bad..."

"I'd help you out but I have trouble counting to four"

"If you need any help let us know. I'm good with spoons".

"These seats are terrific! You can see their nose hairs!"

"It's everything I can do to stop my inner 7th grader pulling your ponytail during this show"

Overheard woman to pit musician:
"Are you the piano man?" "Yes." "Oh! (Beat) Oh. You're wearing a wedding ring."

[Patash]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 12:40pm

Scarsdale matinee lady behind me at a matinee of Proof explaining the show to her friend at intermission:
"Well the old man is the father and he's supposed to be dead, but the girl keeps talking with him and thinks he's alive. There's a desk upstairs and it may contain proof that he's really dead -- like a death certificate of something -- so that's what they're looking for -- PROOF that he's dead, and that's why the show is called Proof.

Second silliest thing I've heard "Latecomers will not be seated".

[Kad]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 12:47pm

I saw the recent Arena Stage production of Fiddler, and the pre-show sound design featured some birds chirping. The old woman next to me had this to say:
"Birds chirping? In a theatre? It's offensive. I don't like it."

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 12:51pm

Isn't it interesting how "His pants were so tight, you could see his religion" survived, even though +95% of American boys were circumcized beginning during WWII?

I wasn't one of those.

[tazber]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 1:17pm

I once heard someone say "that was really a good show".

[haterobics]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 1:17pm

You've never said that, or you were never circumsized?!

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 1:33pm

The latter

[FishermanBob]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 2:58pm

Heard this at a show a few weeks ago:

"How do you find Will Smith in a field of freshly fallen snow?"

"You look for the Fresh Prints".

[Sutton Ross]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 3:21pm

"Second silliest thing I've heard "Latecomers will not be seated".

That's the best thing ever said in a theatre.

[haterobics]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 3:22pm

I once heard them say to turn off our cell phones. We all laughed and tweeted about it.

[JoseLee_]

Posted: 12/17/14 at 3:36pm

Wicked stage door: a guy said "I would pay a thousand dollars to see this very performance again"... Elphaba aka Emma Hunton was sick and couldn't sing crap... worst experience EVER... Why would you go on, if you're sick? Who cares if it's the first performance in L.A. I appreciate understudies MORE now.