The Baronness Needs Her Own Show

"Christine Daae got two musicals out of Phantom Of The Opera."

You say that like it's a good thing, instead of the character-assassinating travesty it was!

But as for the Baroness, I can see her as an Austrian Evita. She could marry some high-ranking Nazi and pose as a benefactress.

After listening to Laura Benanti sing on the new CD, sign me up if she's involved!

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It is not like she was a bad person.

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*MARIA CHOSE TO FLEE. THE CHILDREN CHOSE TO FLEE. THE CAPTAIN CHOSE TO FLEE

*NOT ELSA.

*AND NOW THE NAZIS NEED TO GET THE F*CK OUT OF AUSTRIA.

ANGELINA JOLIE

IS

BARONESS ELSA SCHRÄDER

IN

THE SOUND OF BLOODSHED

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE....BUT THE NAZIS AREN'T


with Neil Patrick Harris as the voice of Maxbot 2.0.

Maybe the story is told in flashbacks. Judi Dench is seen standing on the balcony of a Swiss chalet. There is a look of longing on her face for her Austrian homeland.

"In my day, women knew what they wanted. They didn't flit from nun to nanny on a whim. They didn't dance around statues of gnomes in the park my third husband donated to the city."

She begins to sing:

Affairs, what's happened to them?
Affairs they happen since the days of Shem.
If I knew the Captain had a thing for the simple
I would have bought a wimple
Ah, affairs

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I'm ready to invest!