"Matt, the barbershop is back? I heard that barber was really good, but I'm afraid to go near it. There's stories of something that happened up there -- something not very nice.
Also, how long has Danny been missing? I mean, I'm sure he's all right, but he's got this young kid working for him I'm worried about. He can't be older than fourteen, and he's a nice enough lad, but not the brightest. I hope he's okay. Poor kid."
Yeah, I heard it had something to do with the old barber getting transported to Australia and the wife going to a masked ball at the Judge's house. Heard she went kinda nuts. It's funny but the beggar woman who hangs around the place sure looks a lot like her. Danny's been missing since August, I believe. But don't worry about that kid. I saw him working at the pie shop the other day. He'll be all right. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit down and have me some of Mrs. Lovett's meat pie (I ordered it to go). Mmmmm, yummmy yummy yu...huh, there's a fingernail in here. Clumsy.
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you.
--Cartman: South Park
ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."