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Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

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#1

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:09am

I may be setting myself up for criticism here, but I thought I would share my experience at the theater tonight and ask what you all think about it.

I saw "Clybourne Park" this evening at Playwrights Horizons with a friend. I went into the show completely cold and with an open mind. In fact, I was pleased to see Annie Parisse was in the cast, as I loved her so much last season in "Becky Shaw."

I didn't hate the first act, but I didn't really think much of it worked either. At intermission I turned to my friend and we discussed what we thought the problems were. We weren't being loud or obnoxious, and we were hardly saying things like, "This is worst piece of crap I've ever seen."

Two young women were sitting next to us and overheard our conversation. They very loudly started saying to one another (so we could overhear) that it was very rude to talk about a show while still in the theater, and they teach you this as early as high school.

This didn't daunt us and we kept discussing. They continued to shoot us dirty looks, but they never said anything directly to us.

Were my friend and I out of line for discussing the show at intermission? I feel like it would be unnatural to sit through the first act of a show and not bring it up at intermission. I've heard anyone else complain about this before; most people I overhear talking are talking about the show. What are your thoughts?
Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco. Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!
#2

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:14am

They were probably connected to the show, and would have been thrilled if you were talking complimentary about the show.

Yeah, in high school you don't talk smack about your friends' productions while you're in the theatre, but I think grown people paying real ticket prices can talk about whatever the eff they want, save for loudly spoiling plot points.
#5

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:25am

I guess I've always felt that way too PRS.

luvtheemcee- If I really didn't care for a certain actor or actress and feel like ripping them to shreds I usually would wait until I'm out of the theater. Tonight we were mainly commenting on inconsistencies with the script/character development.

This was the first preview after all, and I think my friend I both thought there was interesting material there, it just needed serious cleaning up in spots. If the playwright had overheard our criticisms I think we were being constructive enough to aid rather than simply bash, even if it hurt a few feelings.

Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco. Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!

Updated On: 1/30/10 at 12:25 AM

#6

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:38am

I agree, as a paying customer you can say whatever you like wherever you like, except as Phyllis noted, with spoilers, etc.

However, I never feel truly comfortable dishing or being critical within earshot of others. I usually will walk to the lobby or take a walk with my companion if we want to talk in depth. Thats because you really never know who is sitting around you. My way is not for everyone, but it feels right to me. I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings because of some poorly chosen words or just some mindless banter.

I remember a few times being in the theatre and family members hearing mean remarks about their child/sister in a Broadway show and that just stayed with me.
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello
#7

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:39am

You did nothing wrong. After having witnessed the first act of a play, what could be more normal than to discuss it?

It was your detractors who were rude. Cowardly, too. If they objected to your discussion, they should have said it directly to your face, and not in the way they did. They're the ones who need to learn about etiquette.

#8

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:59am

I don't feel you did anything horrible but I do know you need to watch your words. I have also had the experience of listening to others make meritless comments about someone I know. I believe you when you say you didn't say anything other than constructive comments. But sometimes people are too sensitive to see them as anything other negative.

Having people talk about you as if you're not there is a huge pet peeve of mine. What they did is way worse in my opinion.
"All our dreams can come true -- if we have the courage to pursue them." -- Walt Disney We must have different Gods. My God said "do to others what you would have them do to you". Your God seems to have said "My Way or the Highway".
#9

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 1:28am

As long as you're willing to own up to what you say, there's nothing wrong with it. As Phyllis said, they wouldn't have referenced this supposed rule "everyone" learned in high school if you sat back in your seat at intermission and declared it was the best show you've ever seen and every actor should win a Tony. If you can discuss the positive, why not the negative?

As long as it's a legitimate critique and not "She's ugly and fat and the whole score sounds like it was bashed out on the piano by Keyboard Cat"; if someone involved in the production overhears, they're professionals and should be able to handle it. If it's a friend or relative of someone involved in the production, the responsibility falls on them to take criticisms with a grain of salt, not you to censor yourself.
Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how
#10

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 1:45am

When I saw MARIE CHRISTINE, the woman next to me said as soon as the lights came up (right after Marie kills her brother onstage), "I hope these folks work everything out!" to which I replied "You know this is based on MEDEA, right?" to a blank stare. Needless to say, she was not pleased with what came to pass (and audibly made sure everyone around her knew so) in Act II. LOL!

P
#11

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 2:07am

Actually, I think during previews producers and creative team are listening to what folks are saying in the audience as feedback.
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello
#12

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 3:49am

Seriously? There are no "rules" and there is no "etiquette"**. It's perfectly fine to have a conversation about whatever you want with your date. If anyone has a problem with the content of your discussion they shouldn't be eavesdropping in the first place.

**provided that you are speaking in normal tones and not being obnoxioulsy loud.
....but the world goes 'round

Updated On: 1/30/10 at 03:49 AM

#13

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 5:53am

Theater is something that people can get very passionate about -- you can leave a performance exhilarated and at other times quite disappointed. When its the latter, I try to keep a mental check on the two block rule -- or at least walk out of earshot from the rest of the marquee smokers at intermission to discuss it quietly with my friends. I've learned over the years that on those occasions when I find it difficult to contain myself then it's probably not worth it to return for the second act
#14

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 9:54am

When attending the premiere of a new Edward Albee play, I was in the lobby during intermission with my parents and my mother was making comments about the play and comparing it to another Albee premiere we saw the same season at a different theatre and some of her comments were quite critical, but valid. I noticed Albee standing behind my mother, watcher her from a couple of feet away. I quickly whispered to my mother that Edward Albee was standing right behind her. She stopped for a second and asked, "Is he listening?" I nodded. She said, "Good!" We always discuss our thoughts on the first act during intermission. If anyone connected with the production overhears us, we hope tey take our comments to heart. If it makes them unhappy, well, that's the nature of the business. Not everyone is going to love every show. If you're too sensitive to that, then you are in the wrong business.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
#15

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 10:39am

Nothing wrong with what you did, unless you were using obscene language or spoilers (which you didn't).

Sounds like two crabby people connected to the show in some way.
"We like to snark around here. Sometimes we actually talk about theater...but we try not to let that get in our way." - dramamama611
#16

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 10:44am

My favorite intermission moment:

At the intermission for the invitational final dress rehearsal for Sondheim's Merrily We Roll Along we were standing in a small group. One person who had seen Nicholas Nickelby the previous week was sporting a button that read I've Been Nicked, which prompted my friend to ask "Do we get a button that says I've Been Rolled"?
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Updated On: 1/30/10 at 10:44 AM

#17

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 10:58am

As long as you were discussing things politely and being descriptive about what was problematic, people from PH would have probably sat quietly and eavesdropped because that kind of response is quite helpful in development of a new play.

The people sitting next to you were the ones without etiquette. They were listening to your conversation and butting in without actually talking to you.
#18

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 11:21am

I see no problem with what you did as long as you weren't being obnoxiously loud, which it doesn't sound like you were doing. The people behind you were the rude ones, eavesdropping on your conversation and then talking loudly about you. And if you had been raving about the show I doubt they would've said a word.

Discussing a show during it's intermission is perfectly fine if it's constructive criticism and you aren't being obnoxious and/or rude. If people connected with the show want to eavesdrop, then they should be prepared to take the critical comments along with the good ones.
"You drank a charm to kill John Proctor's wife! You drank a charm to kill Goody Proctor!" - Betty Parris to Abigail Williams in Arthur Miller's The Crucible
#19

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 11:28am

IF you work in the industry, then I would strongly advise withholding ALL comments and criticisms until you are blocks/miles away from the theatre.

IF you are a pure theatregoer, then say anything you like. There's nothing wrong with it as long as it is conversational and not loud & obnoxious.
"The Spectacle has, indeed, an emotional attraction of its own, but, of all the parts, it is the least artistic, and connected least with the art of poetry. For the power of Tragedy, we may be sure, is felt even apart from representation and actors. Besides, the production of spectacular effects depends more on the art of the stage machinist than on that of the poet."
--Aristotle
#20

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:09pm

If I am a paying theatre goer. I will discuss what I wish at intermission. Polite critical discussion is a normal part of the theatre goers experience. If someone I am with turns to me as the lights come up and asks <"Well what do you think?" or "So how do you like it so far?" I will answer them. The only performance I will hold off negative comments about until I am out of earshot of the theatre is an Invited Dress.
If I were in the OP's position, I would have started a conversation immediately after hearing the two girls comments about the rudeness of people eavsedropping on others discussions.
Those Blocked: SueStorm. N2N Nate. Good riddence to stupid! Rad-Z, shill begone!
#21

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:13pm

This reminds me of a situation many years ago. True story.

A friend and I went to the opening night of the World Premiere of "Veronica's Room" in Cambridge, Mass. (probably at the ART, though I can't remember now). At the end of the show we started chatting casually about it as we put on our coats. The scruffy professorial-looking man in front of us turned around to ask us what we thought. We expressed our opinions (which weren't wholly positive), and he said we made very good points. He then introduced himself. He said he was Ira Levin! Well, being young and stupid, I said, "Good one." He laughed and asked us out for drinks. As we were leaving the theater, lots of folks were acknowledging him and asking if he were going to join them at the party. He shyly refused and escorted us out the door. I STILL didn't get it!

So over drinks we're talking about all sorts of things - the play, cloning, AI robots, you name it. Once we said our goodbyes, I got a chill up and down my spine. I suddenly froze and said to my friend, "Oh, my God, that really WAS Ira Levin." He was obviously alluding to "The Boys from Brazil" and "The Stepford Wives" in our conversation. What a dolt!

A few years later I saw a local production of "Veronica's Room." Some of the changes that I had discussed over drinks were now incorporated into the play!

So keep on chatting, people. You'r comments may improve what ends up on stage!
#22

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 12:51pm

I also try to obey something like a 2-block rule, particularly for negative comments about which I am passionate.

I have lately become aware of the way my passions (positive and negative) can be expressed in ways that are, at the least, annoying, and, at the most, domineering. So, yes, I think it's rude--for me, not necessarily for you, Whizzer--to express that negativity within earshot of people who are enjoying it.

It's bad enough I do it here, on BroadwayWorld, so I try not to do it in real life.

That said, what she said about learning a rule in high school is utter twaddle.

Updated On: 1/30/10 at 12:51 PM

#23

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 1:27pm

I don't see how discussing the show is rude. As long as you're not spoiling what is to come next. Would they rather have had you talk about it while it was happening? I'm guessing not.
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#24

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 1:51pm

Like others said, I'm sure those girls were involved with the production so it makes sense they weren't too kind about what you were saying. Kind of like going to a kids birthday and talking about how ugly the kid is while they're cutting the cake.

#25

Theater etiquette: Discussing a show at intermission

Posted: 1/30/10 at 2:05pm

Just to clarify, the "rule" I was talking about is more about being polite and not offending people, being maliciously critical, those kinds of things. Of course it's absurd to assume that you can't talk about what you just saw. It's more about using discretion.
A work of art is an invitation to love.

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