I think it would be great if Jennifer and Kristin did it together, but that won't happen, because the ratings would be so low
(Middle-Americans: Who are they?
Middle-American Broadway fanatics: They're from Wicked.
Middle-Americans: Oh. (slight pause) What's Wicked?
Middle American Broadway fanatics: It's a show on Broadway.
Middle-Americans: Oh. (Slight pause) What are we watching again?
Middle American Broadway fanatics: The Tony Awards.
Middle Americans: The Tony Awards? What are they? Isn't there a game on, or something?)
Now, I have to say, last years Tony's were the best I had ever seen in the many years I've seen them, and right now, at this point, the only way the rest of America is going to watch them is if Christina Applegate co-hosts with Hugh Jackman as the return host.
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive.
"Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot."
"No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one."
Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.
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