What's the line between "Enthusiastic fan" and "Stalker"?- Page 2

[Thenardier]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 4:01pm

ENTHUSIASTIC FAN: You know all about the actor (what roles he/she has played, where they studied, etc.)

STALKER: When said actress hurts himself/herself you hold a vigil outside of the theatre where he/she is currently working saying "praise *insert name of actor*"


I don't think anyone has ever done THAT....wink, wink...oh!

[Eliza0114]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 4:08pm

FAN: "I have every one of the Cast Recordings that you were in."

STALKER: "I fall asleep listening to your music, and holding my pillow wishing it was you."

[CatieElphie1]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:15pm

fan
------------------------------------------
stalker

it's a pretty fine line.....

fan: looks for memorabilla on ebay, sometimes buys

stalker: looks, buys used false eyelashes (because they were TOUCHED by HER!)

I think liam said it best:
Fan: gets autograph, leaves.
Stalker: is stoked because their autograph is now on the restraining order.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:19pm

Who DID buy Eden's eyelashes...?

[Thenardier]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:24pm

I bought Idina's...but sadly had to sell them to pay for a lawyer for the lawsuit. She can't prove it was me sneaking into her window.


OK - and THAT is the description of a stalker.

[Dreamcatcher]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:25pm

ENTHUSIASTIC FAN: Knows alot about the actor/actress and their work, perhaps goes to the stagedoors to get an autograph or sends fanmail etc etc.

STALKER: Knows exactly where said actor/actress will be at any given moment and follows them there. Stalks stagedoor religiously and sends mail to the person every night without fail etc etc.

Basically I think its just a fine line of knowing what's going "too far." If your enthusiastic you might annoy some people but it's when you start to frighten them when you know you've gone way too far. It's just about not overstepping boundaries and being civil, respectful and appropriate.

Basically Liam's quote summed it all up. :-P

[Dreamcatcher]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:25pm

ENTHUSIASTIC FAN: Knows alot about the actor/actress and their work, perhaps goes to the stagedoors to get an autograph or sends fanmail etc etc.

STALKER: Knows exactly where said actor/actress will be at any given moment and follows them there. Stalks stagedoor religiously and sends mail to the person every night without fail etc etc.

Basically I think its just a fine line of knowing what's going "too far." If your enthusiastic you might annoy some people but it's when you start to frighten them when you know you've gone way too far. It's just about not overstepping boundaries and being civil, respectful and appropriate.

Basically Liam's quote summed it all up. :-P

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:30pm

if the line is frightening the celeb then id say it depends on the person.

you know, sebastian bach handed me a glass he drank out of- he said 'here, i have a gift for you' *shrug* what was I supposed to do? give it back?

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:33pm

Now in the day of DNA...hmmmmmmmmm

I was actually offered a grape that Bette Midler spit out of her mouth while filming the premiere episode on her sit-com.

I asked, "What for?"

The guy said, "Bette's DNA is all over this, think what you can get for it on eBay."

I took it to make the guy happy and then threw it away.

Gross.

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:40pm

yes but some guy tried to give it to you, not bette midler herself...

a fan of Matt's fished through my garbage once for a fork Matt used, I thought that strange to say the least. Shes adorable tho and young so I didnt give it much thought.

[hannahshule]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:54pm

there's a fine fine line...

[Guillermo Ugarte]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:54pm

I'm not sure you can craft a very specific, very brief definition of 'fan' versus 'stalker'. After all the word 'fan' comes from the word 'fanatic.'

And I have to disagree that this thread is funny. I don't find it funny in any way, nor would Taye Diggs and his wife, I'd imagine.

What I can say is that everyone's behavior is a little different and the specific way in which they choose to express their respect or admiration probably makes it easier to define whether they have crossed the line.

For example, a true fan, that is a person who respects the person's work and their privacy, might on a given day choose to approach the actor and express their thanks for a job well done or for some piece of work the person has done that has touched them. The reason they will decide to approach the actor is because the actor doesn't seem busy, preoccupied or tired and isn't engaged in some private activity like having dinner with another person. In other words, a fan can tell the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior and timing.

Whereas a stalker sees the opportunity, no matter when it presents itself, and seizes it every time because they feel they have the right to do so or because they either hate or love the person enough to NEED the interaction. Regardless of whether their behavior frightens or makes the actor uncomfortable, the stalker is oblivious, because she/he lives in another reality where perhaps they have already imagined a sexual relationship, a love affair or a friendship and it is very real to them.

Or, if they haven't imagined that relationship, they are determined to get the actor's attention in order to engender a relationship because they believe they were MEANT to be together or to be close in some way. If the person hates the actor for some imagined affront, the opposite applies and the stalker believes that it is his or her mission to harm or kill the actor or celebrity. Ask David Letterman about the woman who kept showing up at his house in CT. Ask Yoko Ono about the man who murdered John Lennon.

Sometimes stalkers can seem harmless. But even if they don't mean any harm to the actor, they are not doing themselves any favors by living in a dream world. They'd be better served to get a life and a therapist and move back into the real world with the rest of us.

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:58pm

Hey guys

For all of you who think sending your favorite famous person a card every christmas is creepy, I dont think it is. Why? Because I do it! I am not and never will be creepy and I would certainly never want to frighten anyone.

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 6:03pm

hi
Just to let you know, I think scrapbooks and x-mas cardsetc are fine. Just as long as you realize that you are simply a fan and an admirer. Dont act like you know the people. but sending them sentiments is NOT sick!

[lamentingenvelope]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 6:04pm

The difference between a fan and a stalker is that a fan knows to respect a person's privacy. Someone can listen to a CD a person is on every day, talk about them nonstop, know every show they've ever been in, fly halfway across the world to see them in the show, see a show multiple times, go to the stage door, etc. and still be only a fan... a very dedicated fan, but still a fan.

When that person starts following them places, coming up to them at inappropriate times (i.e. when they are clearly engaged in something else, on the phone, having dinner with someone, etc.), concerning themselves with the lives of their family and friends... then they become a stalker.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 6:09pm

Mr. MM 77,

I just wanted to thank you for your cards.

They've helped me out in some lean times.

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 6:11pm

Thx lamentingenvelope!
My sentiments exactly!

[rKrispyt]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 8:56pm

okay, #1 - DIVA, are you serious about this Eden's eyelashes business? Someone bought them on Ebay? I am praying you're kidding (I'm fairly gullible like that) but if not...oy vey - that beats the Justin Timberlake's unfinished french toast ordeal for sure...

and #2. I concur that it's the golden rule and knowing what's going too far. It just seems to me that SOMETIMES the actor/actress becomes friends with a person because they're a fan and not obsessive.

A fan is someone who'll come see you at the stage door to tell you they admire you or something of the like, someone who admires your work or whom you inspire as a performer. Nevertheless, a fan will have an actual conversation with you becuase they understand that said actor/actress is a person just like the rest of us.

Rarely have I heard of htem becoming friends for real on any level with one of these obsessive I-make-you-scrapbooks-and-bring-you-presents-I-made-for-you-for-your-75th-performance-becuase-I'm-keeping-track-and-all-I-do-is-squeal-and-go "omigod, she totally gave me a hug" and-don't-treat-them-like-real-people types of people.

I personally think the obsessive stuff is too much, albeit not stalkerish. But I'm assuming that 'obsessive' is what the original poster was going for, and not the true definition of a stalker because...well, if that's the case, my response is: you'll know it when the cops show up for you.

[Therese]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 9:23pm

E-mailing someone through his web site and telling him I have a crush on him = Enthusiastic (albeit Embarrassing) Fan.

Knocking on his door, dressed up as Lucy T. Slut and singing "I can make you feel Special" = Stalker (also 9-1-1 call, sirens, police, jail, restraining order, men in little white coats coming to take me away ha ha.)

But seriously - several people have touched on this already, but I think the key thing is respecting their privacy and personal space. Don't be a pest, don't do things that would creep you out if a stranger did them to you, and if you do encounter someone in an appropriate (stage-door-type) setting, be polite and considerate and not pushy/ demanding/ monopolizing. Attempting to contact them at home is definitely over the line into stalker territory.

[rKrispyt]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 9:28pm

I have a similar question actually, what do you guys think regarding this:

if you're out and you happen to see someone you're a fan of walk into the restaurant you're eating at, or in line in front of you at the store or something, is it okay to introduce yourself and say something (if it's simple like "I just wanted to tell you, I saw you in blah-blah-blah the other night and really enjoyed your performance." and then go on your way) and under what circumstances?

Eating seems like a big no-no in my opinion but...at the same time, so does any time that they're out, living their life and away from the show, y'know?

Just wanted people's two cents on that. :)

[Therese]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 9:40pm

Well, first of all, I would probably have to convince myself that it really was who I thought it was - then I would probably be too shy to approach them, anyway. I think it would depend on the circumstances. If they were with someone else, or seemed in a hurry, etc., no, I'd leave them alone. But if, say, we were both waiting at the deli counter at the supermarket, and they were alone and seemed in a good/relaxed mood, I might get up nerve to say, "Excuse me, aren't you so-and-so?" and exchange a few brief words.

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 9:44pm

ENTHUSIASTIC FAN: You know the names of their husband/wife/partner and their kids.

STALKER: You know the names of their second cousin's daughter's husband/wife/partner and their kids.

[CJR]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 9:48pm

This is two pages already and frankly, I think it's a bit long for this topic.... so all I'm going to say is it's all about knowing boundaries.

[Jimmyojimmy]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 9:58pm

rkrispyt, I dont know if someone bought Eden's eyelashes, but there are a pair of eyelashes on auction right now that Idina once wore (in Wicked) and the current bid is like $60 or something, now thats weird. I definately think buying something and keeping it in a scrap book or on a pedistole (and worshiping it) that the star would have just thrown away is very stalker-ish.

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 10:05pm

Thank you for that, Guillermo.