What's the line between "Enthusiastic fan" and "Stalker"? — Page 4

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#76

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 2:30pm

You know, Bella, I've always been fascinated by that behavior too. People just watch the clock and show up at the stage door as the show is ending and the actors are coming out...to do what? You can't say 'good show' because you weren't there. Just a little too weird for me.

I can see certain circumstances under which you MIGHT do that if you know the actor and you are waiting to go out with them to dinner or for coffee, etc...but if you are just a person who wants to star peep...geez...write to them and get an autographed photo and look at them whenever you want on your refrigerator door.

It's a strange anomaly of the stage that people can even GET this kind of access to an actor. Movie and TV actors are never that accessible.

"Life is a lesson in humility"

#77

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 2:50pm

Several years ago a star of a certain "masked" musical was faced with a woman wearing an exact copy of his show costume waiting for him at the stage door, her greeting to him was "BEHOLD, I ALONE AM ERIK!" and with wicked flourish of her cape, she was gone.

He never left the theater without an assistant after that.

Unfledge them of their...perriwigs, And they appear like bald-cootes, in the nest. Beaumont, Knt. Malta, (1616).

#78

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 2:51pm

Considering we live in such a celebrity driven time (look how many magazines are devoted to celebs and then there's the rag sheets)
I think there are some people who do wait for performers to come out and say hello, which is fine, so long as you don't feel the need to go home and then write about it on some messageboard/blog and compete with other people over how many times so and so says hello to you.
Even some of the responses here, their such a possessiveness. As if you "know" what is best for the person.

If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience..... Don't be taken in by the guff that critics are killing the theater. Commonly they sin on the side of enthusiasm. Too often they give their blessing to trash... Tallulah Bankhead

#79

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 2:58pm

Fan: Takes picture with actor/actress at the stage door
Stalker: Takes picture of actor/actress in their home from across the street using a telescopic lens

"I wish the stage were as narrow as the wire of a tightrope dancer, so that no incompetent would dare step upon it." Goethe

#80

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 3:22pm

Does this mean I have to take down the Brooke Tansley wallpaper in my apartment?

#81

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 3:24pm

I dont think it's bordering on stalkerish if your favorite actor knows your name.... as long as the reason they know your name isnt because they've had to file a restaining order against you.

Also, there are certain circumstances when being at the stage door after a show you haven't seen isn't scary. But again, if the reason you're showing up is just to stare at the actor, that's kinda freaky.

Personally, I've been seen outside the Ambassador, Cort and Shubert (not just when Chicago was there) after a performance I hadn't attended. Though, I was typically waiting for a friend with the show or theatre.

"You're every gay man's wet dream!" ~ MA

If in Heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell...

#82

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 4:56pm

Fan: Gets in pictures with the actor and knows a lot about them and the shows they're in(not too too much which can lead to being obsessed).

Stalker: Sees every show the actor is in and ALWAYS waits outside the stage door for that one actor. Waits outside the actor's home for a period of time(remember Jack on Will and Grace waiting outside Kevin Bacon's apartment?)

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

#83

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 5:28pm

It my sound weird but while reading your posts I just cam across the idea of an musical about an actress/actor and her/his stalker... could be interesting.. what do you think?!

creepy or funny, maybe both depending on how it would be done

Updated On: 6/16/05 at 05:28 PM

#84

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 5:35pm

Defintely creepy, way too 'all about eve' and the topic mostlikely hits too close to home for a lot of actors. I know a handful of actresses personally who've been stalked. It's definitely not enjoyable.

"You're every gay man's wet dream!" ~ MA

If in Heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell...

#85

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 5:56pm

yeah you're right

#86

Too Weird

Posted: 6/16/05 at 6:00pm

"ENTHUSIASTIC FAN: Goes to the airport in hopes of catching a glimpse of a performer."

I think that's a little much. It's one thing if it's the Beatles where their arrival is newsworthy, but with Broadway actors, that's a bit weird.

"I think inappropriate includes those who go to the stage door after NOT having seen the show..."

How would you know who they are if you haven't seen the show? If you admire someone from previous work and want to get their autograph just to tell them that, I don't think that's inappropriate if you just haven't seen their current show yet. Stage doors are just the most logical opportunity to meet them.

Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

#87

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 1:23am

Ehh, couple things that have been touched of but still want to reply to.

The whole actors-knowing-your-name thing I would not at all use as stalkerish critera. I mean, there's difference reasons for everyone. Some actors are very personable and after a conversation, long or even at a stage door, will make the effort to remember your name, or even if something catches them. I've also had a friend who is friends with a couple of broadway stars, and they know me through her...it is kind of cool that they know my name too, but I agree with CJR, it's okay as long as it's not from a restraining order.

I've actually done some of the going to the stage door of a performance I haven't attended for a number of reasons. I used to attend lots of matinees, and some wouldn't come out after the matinees, so like Spamalot I got a couple of supporting cast members after a matinee and another night I saw Altar Boyz, which ended way before Spamalot, so I decided to head over Spamalot to try to get a bit more autographs/pics, that's often why I'd do this. Rarely I may want to talk to an actor from a show I'm not interested in seeing and so I'll go to that stage door. However, often I just do it because I'm seeing another much shorter show and figure might as well while I'm already in the city and a show will be letting out early.

One last thing...someone asked how you know when it's right to approach a person...well, I would usually exclude eating from this, as if I saw a broadway actor eating I would not interrupt their eating, but perhaps if I wanted to just say you were great in blah, blah, I'll watch for when they get up to tell them-when I used to take road trips to see the Yankees, I'd see some of them at restaurants, and would only ask for autographs once they got up. In other terms, walking down the street, even alone or with others, I think if you give well an easy out it's okay...like just to say a quick I saw you in this show, I thought you were great...then that kind of leaves it up to the actor from there. If they're tired or are otherwise occupied, they can say a quick thank you and continue on, I'm sure most actors wouldn't mind a quick compliment. And other times, you might find that the actor is just incredibly nice and have a 15 minute conversation with them...

"If there was a Mount Rushmore for Broadway scores, "West Side Story" would be front and center. It snaps, it crackles it pops! It surges with a roar, its energy and sheer life undiminished by the years" - NYPost reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli

#88

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 2:28am

I don't think anyone on this message board really has the right to judge anyone else's weird behavior.

Beyond that, all the posters here (and all of the actors in question) are individuals, and what one actor might think of as strange behavior another actor might think of as endearing or kind of funny. Just like fans, some actors are shy in person, others are outgoing in person, some hate the idea of having an "adoring public" and some absolutely bask in it and want to have close contact. And with Broadway, you're also talking about a different kind of "celebrity" and accessibility than hollywood celebrities; most of these people are only "famous" in a really, REALLY small circle of NY-theater oriented people. And most of them don't think of themselves as "celebrities" at all. Because they're really not. So...yeah, there are obvious extremes (as in "DUH OBVIOUS" extremes,) but I don't think anyone here is in any way equipped to judge the gray areas in between. I mean, I know people who think posting on an actor-themed message board is excessive, or that creating a website for an actor is excessive. And how many of you have websites like that? And then there are other people I know who regularly go to stage doors and have a blast, and others still who have actually formed really nice friendships with theater actors.

In the end, what does it matter? As long as it's harmless, well-meaning, and all in good fun, it's not bad. And from what I have personally seen, the ones who routinely make fandom seem like a negative thing are the ones who are the WORST WORST WORST and most HEINOUS offenders of their own complaints.

#89

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 2:32am

i think i can answer this question and settle the discussion for all. ahem-

you are not a stalker if you've had less than 10 restraining orders in as many years.

thank you.

#90

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 2:43am

Fan: Most people on this board

Stalker: Idinamenzelfan5009326184317949139 and all his 9000000000 other aliases.

On another note, I'm getting flashbacks to those "prayer circles" outside the Gershwin. I wish I could have taken a picture.

#91

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 8:57am

JLfromNewYork: I don't think the original question was about people on this board judging an individual. It was about what constitues stalking vs. fandom and most people here have agreed that judgement is a key issue in this regard. The time, place and the way you approach a celebrity can make all the difference.

As for a New York stage actor only being a celebrity in a small circle within New York, it doesn't much matter if they are a huge star or a small star...a stalker is a stalker. I know actors who have worked in regional theater and smaller venues and they have had bad experiences with stalkers and wackos too. As have ex-wives and girlfriends who are not known by anyone but the obsessed boyfriend or husband who stalks them and may even kill them in spite of a restraining order.

Stalking is not limited to the celebrity realm and it is frightening enough to be talked about and analyzed if for no other reason than to alert people to the fact that they should monitor their own behavior lest they be deemed a threat.

"Life is a lesson in humility"

#92

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 9:07am

ANYBODY, no matter how obscure or ordinary can be stalked.

I had a colleague once who stalked Jayne Wrightsman (the high-society patroness of the Metropolitan Museum of Art).

"Christ, Bette Davis?!?!"

#93

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 9:31am

you are not a stalker if you've had less than 10 restraining orders in as many years. >>.

Hmmn?

How about you're not a stalker if you have had less than 1 restraining order....ever.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

#94

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 10:51am

"How would you know who they are if you haven't seen the show? If you admire someone from previous work and want to get their autograph just to tell them that, I don't think that's inappropriate if you just haven't seen their current show yet. Stage doors are just the most logical opportunity to meet them."

I was referring to the girls who would arrive at the Gersh BEFORE Kristin Chenoweth got there and would leave AFTER she had gone. On more than one occassion. Now that, my friends, is stalkerish. Just showing up at the SD to fawn over a celebrity over and over again simply bc they are Kristin Chenoweth or Idina Menzel and omg you looooooooveeeeeeeee them and they're sooooooo amazing is different than attempting to get an autograph from a performer of whose work you really adore.

"You know, a little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire, so I supressed the urge to laugh in her face. But now, by gum, I think she might have been on to something!" --Reefer Madness

#95

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 11:00am

This is like Jenny Powers knowing my name, because she asked what it was the 2nd time I saw LW, and the 3rd time, she recognized me.

There's an explaination why I saw LW 3 times.
1st time, my mom brought me.
2nd time, I brought my best friend.
3rd time, it was the final performance.

Stalkers are creepy. Which is why I hope I don't make it TOO big in the biz.

:)

. . . CHRISSY

#96

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 11:34am

Sutton Foster knows my name, but that's because I went to a rehearsal of hers and got to talk to her. Otherwise, I can't think of a Broadway star who would know my name. But it's not stalkerish at all.

#97

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 11:58am

Upon the topic of when it's right to ask for an autograph, can I ask, for the love of God, don't ask while they are eating!

Time and time again, I've had perfectly lovely meals ruined by folks that seemed to think it was okay to bother the celebrity I am eating with. One time, things were fine until the first person asked, then EVERYONE just lined up. So the celebrity is forced to either sign for everyone or end up being "rude" because they had to draw the line somewhere.

Needless to say, everyone else who is at the table, who are not being asked, are forced to sit there and stare at each other.

It's very uncomfortable

"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

#98

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 12:17pm

Lots of people on Broadway know my name, because I'VE WORKED WITH THEM. Several people on Broadway got their Equity cards at my theatre. Some of them I haven't seen in over 10 years, so I'd hardly call them friends, but I might have actually signed their paychecks at one time.

#99

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 1:32pm

I'm close friends with someone somewhat well known in the Broadway community. He's got some fans that tell him they enjoy his work, and ask for an autograph occasionally. That's all very flattering to him.

But, he has his first "stalker" now. He wrote him an email, my friend replied, and now the kid keeps emailing him and told him he's "worried about him" because he's not replying to all of them. And he keeps pushing for a face to face meeting...

So, admiring someone's work and letting them know it is fine. Trying to push your way into their lives..isn't.

#100

Too Weird

Posted: 6/17/05 at 5:04pm

Maybe I just don't get it, but I don't understand why fans need to have that brush with greatness. Performers are just people with egos. When a fan's obsession interferes with reality, then it has definitely gone too far. JMHO.

FloCo

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