THE FIRST WIVES CLUB review

[ABB2357]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:21pm

I saw THE FIRST WIVES CLUB over the weekend and can only echo the opinions of the earlier posters in response to the promo video. I've read Broadway World and the other board intermittently for ages but never felt compelled to post anything until now. Say what you will about previews, out of town tryouts, etc., but I paid for my ticket and I think that entitles me to voice my opinion.

Simply put, this is the most dismal, atrocious piece of theatre I've seen in 20 years+ of theatergoing. I've seen Broadway shows, tours, regional theatre, high school and college productions, you name it. This dog takes the cake. If you think watching 2 minutes and 6 seconds of the production on YouTube was aggravating, imagine dragging the experience out to 2 hours and 40 minutes (which is how long the show ran with intermission).

This is NOT an enjoyably bad show. Despite the unintentional humor of the video, it is not DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES, IN MY LIFE, or CARRIE. That would require the material to be interesting. No, THE FIRST WIVES CLUB is a depressing, offensive, one-dimensional creative void that is above all completely unprofessional on behalf of the creative team. I can't fault any of the actors because of what they're given, although they certainly don't perform with much energy. Who can blame them? This show has so many problems that if you stopped every time an issue came up it would be longer than a tech rehearsal. It?s like watching a musical comedy presentation of your closest friend's funeral.

I notice some posters are giving Rupert Holmes the benefit of the doubt. Don't. His book may be the worst thing about the show, which is saying something. It begins with a device (the girls' dead friend acting as narrator) that is never used again after the opening number. The one-liners are unbearable, such as Barbara Walsh's comment about her husband "dancing the hora with his whore-a" after he brings his mistress to their son's bar mitzvah. (That's actually one of Rupert?s better lines).

Each of the women is a weak-willed pushover determined to get her lying, philandering husband back. WHY??? Isn't the story supposed to be about strength and female empowerment? Walsh's Act 1 finale number (in which she grovels for her man to come back to her) is embarrassing. And speaking of embarrassing, the actress playing Karen Ziemba's daughter (Kat Palardy) is also in the ensemble, and Zambello's direction is confusing to the point where every time she enters, you can't tell if she's supposed to be playing the daughter or a member of the chorus.

In fact, everything Zambello does is confusing, from the bizarre blocking to the unflattering costumes and set design. The set is extremely cheap, with nothing but a few backdrops, tacky furniture, and frosted glass panels that swoop across the stage. Between the panels, garish pastels, and shimmery metallic fixtures, the show appears to be set sometime in the mid-80s.

And while we're discussing dated time periods, remember the gay character in APPLAUSE? Remember how obnoxious, simpering, and offensive he was? THE FIRST WIVES CLUB has a character that's even more reprehensible (never mind that this show was written almost 40 years later). His name is Duane, and he's the Walsh character's sassy BFF (never mind that this supposedly chic, uptown guy wouldn't be caught dead standing next to her dumpy outer-borough hausfrau). He makes Carmen Ghia in THE PRODUCERS look like Fred Phelps. Holmes has even given him a quip (which the blue hairs in the audience loved) along the lines of "Do I look like a man who spends a lot of time on his knees?"

As an open-minded straight person, I was ashamed at this character's presence on stage; I can only imagine how a gay man or woman would feel. Anyway, the plot (POTENTIAL SPOILER HERE) requires Duane to help the girls out by masquerading as fashion designer Duarto Fergini to persuade Walsh's husband's mistress to buy Sheryl Lee Ralph's possessions (which are being auctioned off in her divorce) in order to fund Ziemba taking over her husband's ad agency. Yes, posters, this is supposed to make sense. END SPOILER. Also, keep in mind that the specifics of the wives' plan are not revealed until the climax. While the intention behind this is to maintain the element of surprise, it's frustrating to have the audience spend most of Act 2 wondering what the hell these ladies are doing and for what purpose.

I am doing the songwriting team a favor by not discussing the score - you heard 2 minutes of it in the video and probably get the picture. I will say that there is no dramatic motivation or thrust to any of the numbers, and the transitions from book to score are jarring and at times incomprehensible.

I would write more but I'm exhausted, much like I felt this weekend after leaving the Old Globe. If anyone would like to know specific details (since it seems like I'm one of the few here who has actually seen the show), I'm more than happy to answer. It's unbelievable that a major award-winning theater has to stoop to putting on this kind of moronic, soul-crushing garbage. Of course, the subscription audience (who looked happy to be out of their recliners, regardless of what they were seeing) loved it.

Let's hope that this one dies a quick death so the talented leads can go on to greener pastures, and Zambello can play out the rest of her career directing middle school Christmas pageants where she belongs. Updated On: 8/7/09 at 01:21 PM

[somethingwicked]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:27pm

Wow.

Someone certainly sounds like they have an ax to grind.

Updated On: 7/29/09 at 01:27 PM

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:30pm

Oh sh*t.

Francesca Zambello needs to stay away from stage musicals. She ruined one of the best animated films of all time when she tried to direct it on stage and now she's ruining a movie to stage transfer that actually sounded like a good idea in theory. She's a terrible director.

[tazber]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:30pm

So all in all you'd recommend it then?

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:31pm

The whole part with Duane having Morty's mistress buy Elyse's possessions is in the movie and it makes sense there. Not sure about how the musical presents it, of course.

[ray-andallthatjazz86]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:32pm

I'm trying to keep my mind open but I've yet to hear even one person say something good about the show overall. I've heard people say that the three main ladies are good, but that's about where the praises stop.

[noahrp3]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:32pm

Updated On: 5/23/17 at 01:32 PM

[tazber]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:33pm

Zambello should stick to Opera.

[Wildcard]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:34pm

Unfortunately, this review gets it right. Hopefully the extension in San Diego is so they can keep tweaking the show.

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:38pm

How about they start by firing Zambello.

I've heard from countless people that she is at the crux of the show's issues. Which, like I said, doesn't surprise me.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:41pm

From those song snippets I can't say that firing her would do that much good.

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:43pm

True, but it'd be a start.

[ABB2357]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 1:46pm

I'm familiar with the movie (seen it a bunch of times, although not recently) and remember most of the details, including the auction sequence. Most of the major set-pieces from the movie are there, but they aren't structured in a way that makes any sense.

It literally takes the women all of Act 1 (about 80 minutes) to figure out that they should be getting revenge on their husbands, not trying to win them back. They talk about putting a scheme in motion but don't elaborate, I think because Holmes didn't want to spoil the pay-offs later on. But the lack of definition into what exactly they're doing leaves a confused audience (or at least myself).

The auction number in the musical is one of the few that (sort of) works, if only because for the first time the score actually advances the plot. Most of the songs don't establish story or character and only regurgitate information that has already been delivered ad nauseum by the book. Updated On: 7/29/09 at 01:46 PM

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 2:07pm

Ahh, I understand. Yeah, it looks pretty terrible from the clips I've seen.

I agree that, though the book seems wretched, the score itself also appears problematic.

[HHA1]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:31pm

You people must have something against someone connected to this show! BECAUSE: This show is absolutely GREAT! I have personally done many shows myself and yes some on broadway! I would consider myself one of the most negative critics out there but for a show that was still in PREVIEWS when you guys saw it... it was great!

First I will begin with the fact that you laugh every 45 seconds on average!

But more importantly I would like to say that the three women are great! They are fun, they are real, and they deliver in this show. The show is extremely easy to follow because the book is amazingly written!

Let me begin with the positives:

The ensemble is great! Funny, committed, and skilled singers and actors that have resume's to show for it!

Sara Chase, who plays all three mistresses is INCREDIBLE! (its amazing that you people did not give credit where credit is due) Either that or you have a grudge against someone!

SAM HARRIS! AMAZING! Funny and an awesome singer. He also delivers his lines to perfection!

Karen.. who plays Annie is so cute and adorable and you really connect with her!

THE SET IS GREAT FOR AN OFF BROADWAY SHOW.... I would add a little in more places but im not the director of "this show"

AMAZINGLY you leave this show feeling good!

Things that need work before Broadway:
The choreography could be a little stronger. I do like the "shop boys" number! VERY FUNNY but my favorite is the "Auction" but the finally could be a little more grand! To make everyone feel what they feel....

Some of the singing could use some coaching! Why, because when you are a new cast you have to create the song basically and i think they need some guidance with making the songs more colorful!

OVERALL! IT IS A MUST SEE! IF YOU LIKE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT CRITIQUE THE WORK IN PROGRESS ITS GREAT!
WELL ITS OFFICIAL OPENING IS SOON SO LETS SEE WHAT THE REAL CRITICS HAVE TO SAY!

i respect all opinions but some of you didnt even give credit where credit was due!

[blaxx]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:37pm

He makes Carmen Ghia in THE PRODUCERS look like Fred Phelps.




HHA1, your post reeks of shill so bad. SO BAD.

[AndAllThatJazz22]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:38pm

Best

Review

Ever

[HHA1]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:41pm

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CAREER! ONLY LOOKING AT THE NEGATIVE REFLECTS YOUR OWN LIFE!

THE SHOW IS GREAT

[somethingwicked]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:41pm

Twenty bucks to whoever can count all the exclamation points in HHA1's initial post.

[blaxx]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:42pm

[HHA1]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:44pm

DO YOU EVEN HAVE 20 bucks??? no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blaxx]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:45pm

First I will begin with the fact that you laugh every 45 seconds on average!

That's my favorite quote of the post.

:45...audience laughs...now!

[AndAllThatJazz22]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:45pm

'I will begin with the fact that you laugh every 45 seconds on average!'

I did that with the video preview...but not for the right reasons.

[Pgenre]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:46pm

In watching that clip for the seven thousandth time in my sick fascination with this monstrosity, I just noticed... in "Jump for Oy" it's the lesbian daughter who says "one for the sisters" and makes a gesture, or is it just some random dyke?

Is that wit? Why can't Karen Ziemba dance anymore, or is she supposed to be playing drunk? Or is it a combination of those things and the choreography? Or is she actually drunk? I'd be.

It took three people writing the last line of the centerpiece song of the show to come up with "I'm ready for a change in my life"? Sheryl's "Red-DAY"'s are up there with Alexis Smith in PLATINUM as far as campy vocalizing goes, I'll give them that.

P

[HHA1]

Posted: 7/29/09 at 4:46pm

you must look like your photo!