The Resume of George W Bush

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:44pm

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520


EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.

MILITARY

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil
business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly
after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in
a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help
of my father and our friends in the oil industry, including Enron CEO
Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure,
Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any
governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the
governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme
Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus
and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record
for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic
record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I
set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I
set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs
and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza
Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for
most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the
all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate
campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one
of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate
bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed
the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than
any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland
Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States'
government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United
Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew
the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors
access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused
to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history
to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S .
election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of
any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time
record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking
off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security
failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S.
after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made
the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of
diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history
of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.
I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for
war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops
and their families-in-wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I
lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on
our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a
majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat
to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear
"Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my
pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC
investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or
>regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable
for public review.

I am a member of the Republican Party.


PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN THE 2006 MIDTERM ELECTIONS.

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:45pm

respect your Preesident. that's what I always say.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:47pm

I will respect my "Preesident" when he's worthy of respect.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:48pm

What's a "preesident"?

And WHY do these sock puppets ALWAYS have the number 2 after their names?

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:49pm

yep, dubya's gonna get creamed in the '06 midterms. he hasn't got a chance of re-election this time and no amount of cheating will help him! wait, what's that? he's not running? oh, what a world! this simply has to be an evil plot concocted by that porcine karl rove.

Updated On: 6/14/06 at 02:49 PM

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:53pm

No, but think about how wonderful this Preesident has been and then decide if you really want a Congress that will keep letting him do and not do what it is he do. I mean does.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:56pm

no, but think about how wonderful this preesident has been and then decide if you really want a congress that will keep letting him do and not do what it is he do. i mean does.

an eloquent defense. if only your party can be as articulate, i have high hopes for '06.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:58pm

Keep dreaming, buster.

Then again, you guys do have the whole noble gay bashing thing. Go, Rovey, go.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 2:59pm

Elena2...hi Jose!

[Gothampc]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 3:04pm

You forgot his MBA from Harvard and father of two hawt daughters.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 3:11pm

And WHY do these sock puppets ALWAYS have the number 2 after their names?

How are you using the term sock puppet? I have a 2 next to my name, because when I joined and tried to use JohnBoy, it wouldn't let me, so I tried JohnBoy1, and it wouldn't let me, then I tried JohnBoy2, and it let me. I've never seen a JohnBoy or a JohnBoy1 here, though, so you'd have to ask the administrator about that one. Who else is a 2?

[Gothampc]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 3:21pm

Audrey had a 2, but it ended up eating her.

[tz0o]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 3:51pm

"I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use."


God, I hate, hate, hate playing what appears to be the devil's advocate, but I can't let this information slide.

Wasn't this debunked last year, when Dan Rather read those fake memo cards on 60 seconds?

"I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury."

Hate to burst your bubble, but check your facts. The economy started dipping in the year 2000. Bush didn't begin his term until 2001.



I'm not saying that you can't bash Bush. It's just that if you want to bash him, bash him with accurate information.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 3:54pm

"I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury."

Hate to burst your bubble, but check your facts. The economy started dipping in the year 2000. Bush didn't begin his term until 2001.

But your statement doesn't debunk the first. There was a budget surplus when Dubya came in, he said he wanted to give it back to the taxpayer. Then came 2001 and he did it anyway in the midst of blowing up the budget to astronomical proportions. The deficit's never been so big.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 3:54pm

No, Rodney. George Bush's National Guard records still show him as AWOL, depite Karl Rove's orchestrated smearing of Dan Rather and CBS News.

No one has ever been able to prove he was there, and he refuses to address the matter.

He was doing coke and not showing up, and you KNOW that's true, Rodney.

Updated On: 6/14/06 at 03:54 PM

[tz0o]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:16pm

First of all, as far as Karl Rove's duping of Dan Rather, you're forgetting one important thing: It wasn't Karl Rove who debunked it. Nope, it was several average American citizens at the website Free Republic. A poster under the name Buckeye along with another poster whose name I've forgotten at the moment made the acute observation that the documents couldn't have been typed using the typewriters at the time. This news spread through the power of blogs, until it eventually led to the declassifying of the documents. The process on which this happened still fascinates me to this very day.

As for the economy, it was already in a deficit when Dubya entered office, meaning that he couldn't have possibly started it.


I'm sick of people calling me Rodney all the time. It could be worse. I could be comparing the victims of the 9/1l to "little Eichmans" like Ward Churchill does. At least I don't fabricate cheap propaganda videos designed to make our troops look bad like Michael Moore does.

And it's not as if I agree with everything that Republicans say, either. I'm just trying to see things from both sides. I realize that George Bush's treatment of homosexuals has not been ideal. There oughtta be a way to get homosexual couples to have the same rights as hetrosexual couples. Howard Dean I think had a novel idea: granting them civil unions. Speaking of Howard Dean, I actually admire the man; he's not afraid to say what he thinks, whereas most Democrats try to hide behind diplomacy. They say that the war in Iraq was a bad idea, but then tell me: why did they vote for it at the time? And when Clinton was president, *he* wanted to invade Iraq. Why the sudden change of heart?

That's all for now. I'm sorry about being so darn controversial on this board.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:18pm

"And when Clinton was president, *he* wanted to invade Iraq. Why the sudden change of heart?"

He definitely bombed Iraq. The only thing he hit though was an aspirin factory and some camels.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:21pm

Karl Rove orchestrated that campaign, and the claim that the typewriters hadn't been invented yet was later proven to be untrue. There is no proof in National Guard records that Bush was present at the time.

The man was high on cocaine and AWOL.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:23pm

"And when Clinton was president, *he* wanted to invade Iraq. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Uh, key point here is WANTED to but DID NOT. Big diff, don't you think?


He definitely bombed Iraq. The only thing he hit though was an aspirin factory and some camels.

Well, thank God Bush managed to invade and kill lots of innocent men, women and children! Heaven forbid all he did was nail an aspirin factory.

[tz0o]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:41pm

"Karl Rove orchestrated that campaign, and the claim that the typewriters hadn't been invented yet was later proven to be untrue."

THAT claim that you just mentioned was later prooven to be untrue as well. It's just that it doesn't get as much media press as the former debunktion. Gee, I wonder why. . .

As for Karl Rove orchrastrating the campaign, I'll believe you once you give me proof.


As for the invading, I'm pretty sure that Dubya didn't mean to kill all those innocents. He was a bit rash, true, but he did what he thought was right.

And that's all I have time for for now. I have to do summer reading assingments now. No, I'm not chickening out. I just have more important things that I have to be doing at the moment.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:44pm

'granting them civil unions'

u can keep ur second class civil unions. give me my damned equality that I pay for with my taxes.

and u are really going to pull out the ward churchill card in the shadow of ann coulter's comments?

there's so much bull**** in this country right now. I could just scream.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:46pm

You are SO Rodney it's coming out of your ears.

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 4:58pm

. . .


Not worth the effort

. . .

Waste of Bandwidth

. . .

[tz0o]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 6:09pm

Sorry, I had no idea that civil unions were second class. I thought that they were marriage in everything but name. And who says that I support Ann Coulter's comments?

And for the last time, my name is Alyssa, not Rodney.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/14/06 at 6:49pm

I wasn't saying u agree with coulter.

and, no, civil unions would not be equal. they would be a step, but 'separate is not equal'