Seinfeld Broadway Trivia - What Show & Song?

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/2/03 at 6:56pm

In the episode of Seinfeld, titled, The Jacket, the character George Costanza (Jason Alexander) after seeing a Broadway Musical gets a song stuck in his head which he can't stop singing.

What is the song? And what show was it from?

[Standing O]

Posted: 6/2/03 at 7:40pm

The only Broadway reference I recall was a fictitious show called Rochelle, Rochelle! the Musical starring Bette Middler, where George breaks Bette's leg at the Broadway softball league and she can't perfrom enabling her emotional wreck of an Understudy to get her big break. Is this the show, but I don't recall a song?

[Rob]

Posted: 6/2/03 at 7:41pm

Master of the House - Les Mis!

Rob

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/2/03 at 7:48pm

Rob D. is CORRECT, it is "Master of the House" from Les Miserables, and during this episode George's contagious singing causes others to experience the same "Master of the House" affliction.

[orion59]

Posted: 6/2/03 at 8:22pm

Thanks, i now have Master of the House stuck in MY head.

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 11:29am

God! Now it's stuck in my head too! I went to the wax museum in Times Square the other day, and got "Master of the House" stuck in my head when I was walking through the French Revolution exhibit. I finally got it out, and now it's back!
And I don't even know all the words which makes it worse! It is a catchy song.

[orion59]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 11:32am

that's the same problem I'm having with the song. It's stuck in my head and I don't know the lyrics so, it keeps running through my brain as "Master of the house, blah, blah, blah, Master of the house, la,la,la"

It's maddening

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 12:11pm

DRINKER THREE
Come on you old pest

DRINKER TWO
Fetch a bottle of your best

DRINKER ONE
What's the nectar of the day?

(Thenardier enters with a flask of wine)

THENARDIER
Here, try this lot
Guaranteed to hit the spot
Or I'm not Thenardier

DRINKERS
Gissa glass a rum
Landlord, over here!

THENARDIER
Right away, you scum (to himself)
Right away, m'sieur (to customer)

DINER ONE
God this place has gone to hell

DINER TWO
So you tell me every year

DRINKER SIX
Mine host Thenardier
He was there so they say,
At the field of Waterloo

DRINKER SEVEN
Got there, it's true
When the fight was all through

DRINKER ONE
But he knew just what to do
Crawling through the mud
So I've heard it said
Picking through the pockets
Of the English dead

DRINKER EIGHT
He made a tidy score
From the spoils of war

THENARDIER
My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts.
My sons of whores
Spent their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors
And their money's as good as yours

DINER ONE
Ain't got a clue
What he put in this stew
Must have scraped it off the street

DINER TWO
God what a wine!
Chateau Neuf de Turpentine
Must have pressed it with his feet

DRINKERS
Landlord over here!
Where's the bloody man?
One more for the road!
Thenardier, one more slug o' gin.

GIRL
Just one more, or my old man is gonna do me in.

(Thenardier greets a new customer)

THENARDIER
Welcome, M'sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Innkeeper in town
As for the rest,
All of 'em crooks
Rooking their guests
And cooking the books.
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!

Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em
Of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks
When they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!

THENARDIER & CHORUS
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone

THENARDIER
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!

(To another new customer)

THENARDIER
Enter M'sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road

(Taking his bag)

This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied...

Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that

Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!

Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!

THENARDIER AND CHORUS
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got

THENARDIER
Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!

MME. THENARDIER
I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
`Master of the house?'
Isn't worth me spit!
`Comforter, philosopher'
- and lifelong ****!
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
But there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted
Living with this bastard in the house!


THENARDIER & CHORUS
Master of the house.

MME. THENARDIER
Master and a half!

THENARDIER & CHORUS
Comforter, philosopher

MME. THENARDIER
Ah, don't make me laugh!

THENARDIER & CHORUS
Servant to the poor. Butler to the great.

MME. THENARDIER
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!

THENARDIER & CHORUS
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!

THENARDIER
Everybody raise a glass

MME. THENARDIER
Raise it up the master's arse.

ALL
Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 6:01pm

What we are experiencing, not being able to get "Master of the House" out of our heads now, confirms what I believe about the events portrayed in Seinfeld.

Most experiences in life can be satirically linked back to an episode of Seinfeld!

I don't whether to say, Bless you, Larry David! or Curse you, Larry David!

P.S. Thanks, TheaterBaby for the lyrics.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 10:01pm

One singing teacher told me that if you sing "Home on the Range" it gets any song out of your head. Of course it gets "Home on the Range" stuck IN your head, but you can't have your cake and eat it too.

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 10:55pm

Hmmm. just tried the "Home on the Range" cure. I got to, "where the deer and antelope play" and wouldn't you know it, it's back:
"Master of the House
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm"

[Rob]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 10:58pm

Anyone know when Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back?

Rob

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/3/03 at 11:13pm

I do not believe a date for the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm has been announced yet. However, HBO is running many reruns of CYE this summer.

Seeing Larry David prowl around the orchestra section at intermission of The Producers opening was highlight for me. Seeing Larry, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks talking was like watching a Holy Trinity of Comedy!

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 6/4/03 at 12:17pm

I love Curb Your Enthusiasm! Also, I would rather have "Master of the House" stuck in my head than "Home on the Range." Of Course, right now I'm listening the songs of the 80's...so I might end up getting one of those stuck in there.

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/4/03 at 10:08pm

In one episode of Seinfeld, as a birthday present, George gave Jerry two tickets to a Broadway musical. What was the name of this popular Broadway show?

[Standing O]

Posted: 6/4/03 at 11:36pm

That would be Guys & Dolls.

[Alvin and My Sheepdog Rex]

Posted: 6/5/03 at 2:17pm

They did reference the fictitious show "Rochelle, Rochelle" to Broadway in the Bette Midler episode, but it mostly was used as a foreign film they lusted about in a number of episodes. I think I recall the description as being:

Rochelle, Rochelle! - A young girls erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.

[Deannaizme]

Posted: 6/5/03 at 2:49pm

A young girl's erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. I don't remember that episode of Seinfeld, but the premise of "Rochelle, Rochelle" just cracks me up. LOL

~D

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 6/5/03 at 2:54pm

"I got the pineapple!" LOL I love that episode of Seinfeld.

The korean women getting mad because Bette's not there. And the girl who cried over the hotdog, but didn't care when her Uncle died. CLASSIC

[orion59]

Posted: 6/5/03 at 2:59pm

That was the description of both the movie Rochelle,Rochelle and the stage play that was based on the movie and starred Bette until Bette was mowed down by Kramer in a charity sofball game. That's also the episode where he brings Bette his pasta sculpture that he made of her and referred to as Macaroni Midler. It also turned out to be a cool take off on the Tonya Hardin/Nancy Kerrigan scandal.

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 6/5/03 at 3:01pm

not to seem like a pain, but it was actually Gerge who knocked her down. Kramer was off searching for Pineapple italian ice for Bette.

[orion59]

Posted: 6/5/03 at 3:15pm

That's right, it was George. It's been so long since I've seen that episode that I forgot. What happened at the end? I remember Bette and Kramer are in his apartment doing something. can't remember what.