10 reason gay marriage is WRONG

[newsieboy23]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 12:18am

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong


01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

0 Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.


Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.

(craigslist!)

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 12:21am

Total MySpace bulletin :)

[Unknown User]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 12:23am

haha yeah that's where I recognized it from too!

[jeremykushnier1fan]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 12:23am

Wait...

...do you agree with this or are you just posting this for some strange reason?

[Parks]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 12:34am

hahahaha, that made me laugh so hard--I love that.

[Link Larkin Wanabe]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 12:35am

Kushnierfan,

Did you even read it? It is satirical.

Akiva

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 1:23am

If number 2 were true there's at least one aphoristic queen who posts here who wouldn't need a booster seat the next time Madonna tours.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 10/30/05 at 1:34am

Mmmmm....booster seats.

[duroc]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 3:36am

sassypanz - not gay either, but you are correct. being gay is natural; in fact, I watched a show on PBS that talked about animals showing both straight AND gay behavior and the importance of both to their community.

But, this bulletan is rediculous... I mean, #7? what does the parents sexual preferences have to do with how their children feel about the same/opposite sex? And #8? America was founded on the principle of freedom of religion. I am religious, and while the Bible does not 'support' being gay, it's formost tenent is love and acceptance; and I think people too often forget that. Someone can be gay and a Christian.

Definitely satiracal and not one ounce of truth...

[gumbo2]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 4:21am

Yeah, wait guys, its totally making fun of reasons why gay marriage is wrong. I don't think anyone here actually believes gay marriage is bad, at least not for those reasons.

[Behind_the_Spotlight]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 5:09am

Love it! :) Heaven forbid this should come to pass... I mean, just imagine the chaos that would ensue if gay people could have legally recognized commitments! As though they do anything besides have lots of casual sex. Everyone knows only straight people can commit. When was the last time you heard of a straight person sleeping around or cheating?

Oh, wait...

[Elphaba]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 8:58am

my God did you all just fall off the turnip truck? IT'S A JOKE, PEOPLE.......

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 9:30am

That should be required reading for the rest of the country!

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 9:30am

Ditto, Elphaba!


I was reading the reponses and thinking "what the hell are you people on?"

[justthefacts2]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 10:45am

The only thing that really concerns me is this -

Is not having a sense of humor a choice or is it in the DNA?

[grizzabella]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 11:03am

Actually, I think it's something left out of the DNA. Love the "10 Reasons." :)

[DramaDork925]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 11:28am

I've read this a million times thanks to Myspace and everytime it makes me laugh!

[sassypanz]

Posted: 1/2/06 at 3:47pm

Updated On: 1/2/06 at 03:47 PM