A question to the gays on this board

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:38pm

*This is not coming as a homophobic remark or a coming out remark*

Most of my classmates are for gay rights but do not understand the life of a homosexual. My question is one that is asked alot but a straight answer is normally not given. Do you (as homosexuals) believe that homosexuality is a choice, and how do you know? Once again I am not trying to come across as a hater but I would like to be able to give the oppinions of those who know best to my classmates.
If you choose to answer this I thank you.

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:47pm

Homosexuality...true homosexuality, not horny sexual experimentation activity...is not a choice. There's been so much said throughout time about this subject, I'm not about to go into it here. Just trust me: not a choice.

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:47pm

I firmly believe that it is genetic. My father was gay, and I know many fellow homosexuals with the same story. And why on earth would anyone choose to be gay? That never made any sense to me . "Oh yeah - I think I'll choose to be a member of a group that is tortured and made fun of all their lives, not given any rights and treated like second class citizens." Nope - no choice to be had - I was born this way and I shall die this way.

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:48pm

my response is that this is how i was born... it wasn't a choice because i cannot remember a time when i wasn't gay...

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:49pm

No. It's not something I woke up and chose. Before I knew what it was I knew I was different. I'm talking 4 or 5 years old here. It's just something that you are and there's nothing you can do to change it. I honestly believe that homosexuality is a biological population control. But would you WANT to be picked on and ridiculed as a kid and feel awkward and lonely?

[DAME]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:49pm

Once and for all. It is not a choice. Just like you staright boys were born with the desire to do it with girls; we were born with the desire to do it with guys. Same can be said for our fellow lesbians. It is not a choice. It is the way god made us. Understand now?

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:49pm

thank you both
If you don't mind could I use your comments in school?

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:51pm

I don't think jacob meant "choice" as if you waking up and decided to swing for the same team. I think he just means is it a biological attribute, or just something you were born with, versus being something you're socialized to be.

[KMF_NYC]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:51pm

no need to expand, just another "Not a Choice"

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:51pm

I won't speak for anyone but myself. I've never known any different - and 'how' I knew was when I realized that I was having sexual arousal, and what I was having it in response to was men. Always have - since the beginning. So, there was no choice for me at all - it just 'was'.

[DAME]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:52pm

ant me to go to your school for a little show and tell?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:52pm

It doesn't matter, really. I mean, "Everybody's got the right to be happy," right? Arguing that it's genetic ("we have no choice, honest!"), so therefore we deserve rights is something of a slippery slope. What if it turns out that some people DO make a conscious decision to engage homosexually and some, even most, do not. Are the genetic homos more deserving of rights and freedoms over somebody who would choose to be gay.

I'm one of those out, proud and liberated homos who cringes every time somebody says, "Why would I CHOOSE to be gay?" Honey, I can't imagine why anybody wouldn't!

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:52pm

Dame, that kind of show and tell is for college frat parties, not high schools.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:53pm

No choice - it's just who I am. The only choice to be made is whether or not you will live your life proud of who you are, or if due to pressure, lead your life as a lie. I decided to be proud and I was very lucky to have the full support of my family and friends.

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:54pm

But I did choose to be a bitch.

[DAME]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:56pm

And I choose to be your bitch.

[TGIF]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:56pm

"Dame, that kind of show and tell is for college frat parties, not high schools."

-- not all colleges. On monday for National Coming Out Day some students wrote on the sidewalks in chalk (a common practice in my school) about gay rights and other things. Later on in the day I witnessed people washing it off. I was disgusted by the fact that they are trying to censor students. Ugh, I hate catholic schools. I really do need to transfer.

[MusicMan]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:57pm

Certainly our sexual impulses are hardwired in our biological systems. But how we respond to them is a different matter entirely. We decide to act on our impulses or not--in that sense, it's a choice.

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:57pm

By bitch are we talking the prison variety or the snarky variety?

[CurtainUp2]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:58pm

Did you make a conscious decision to be straight? Well, I didn't make one to be gay either. I don't remember waking up one morning, sitting up in bed, and deciding that I was going to live my life as a gay person. It's just who am. Well... it's a part of who I am anyway. I don't define myself by my sexuality.

Updated On: 10/15/04 at 03:58 PM

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 3:59pm

Why don't you tell me Tiff, since you seem to know everything. lol

Updated On: 10/15/04 at 03:59 PM

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 4:02pm

Once again thank you all.
I have always believed that homosexuality is biological but as I said some of my fellow students do not. This is for them to see, if it is all right by you. If you do not wish for your comments to be seen/heard you are free to PM me and I will not include them.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 4:02pm

I don't think there are any scientific people who don't understand it as something biological. With that said, as a former fundamentalist, I understand their point is that they feel like people who are gay can choose to not act on their impulses...and choose celibacy.

However, I think their basis of that idea starts with the idea that homosexuality is a sin. Which is a rather new idea for the Christian church -- started around the late 19th century. It is based on some rather obscene translations of the Bible, and does not reflect God's opinion (which is, as Jesus said, summarized by love the lord and love your neighbor -- which homosexuality has the potential to fulfill, not ignore).

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/15/04 at 4:06pm

I'd actually like to point out that in one survey I read, the majority of gay men (but not all) said they thought that being gay was biological, while more lesbians were willing to entertain the notion of choosing ways to behave sexually.

Most gay men I know will go to their death saying "I was born this way." But I don't think it's too smart politically to argue that every gay person was.

Posted: 10/15/04 at 4:08pm

Namo - your point is taken, from a political standpoint. And yet, I can't deny that, for myself at least, this is simply all I've ever known.