A question to the gays on this board- Page 5

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 10:39am

I like that story. More about the counselor, please.

[Pip]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 10:41am

Well,MasterLcZ, if that's his picture he would have turned MY head when I was 5 years old, too!

Posted: 10/16/04 at 10:43am

That picture of the counselor makes me think of our own little Zoran.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 11:41am

You know, I avoided this thread until now because in the past threads with such titles have frequently been offensive, patronizing, or solicitous. This was none of them. It made me realize that, when asked from the heart, questions like this make excellent use of an online community composed of a wide variety of people with a broad span of experiences. What's it like to be... an unemployed actor, a gay high school student, a straight college student, a middle-aged woman in suburbia, whatever... How much we can all learn from each other when we talk openly and listen non-judgementally.

I almost missed out on reading a wonderful thread with many honest "What it's is like to be me" stories. This is one of the things that doesn't fall into place all that often here, but when it does, it's something to cherish. And it reminds me why I hang in there (here) during the bleak times.

Posted: 10/16/04 at 11:44am

I'm glad you keep finding reasons to hang around iflit, however small they may be, because YOU'RE one of the reasons I hang around

[Albin]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 1:29pm

Whether I'm gay because of genetics or because of my environment and upbringing as a child really makes no difference to me. It is as nature/God intended it to be.

What makes a person left-handed instead of right-handed?
What makes a person like Chocolate ice cream instead of Vanilla?
What makes a person gay instead of straight? Who cares? There are more important things to worry about.

[BwayTheatre11]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 1:37pm

Honestly, if it was not for you guys, I would not know what to think about my sexuality. You have made me comfortable with it and have learned to embrace it. It is funny that a message board can play such a large part in your life...but I am proof it can.

THANK YOU!

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 1:44pm

if being str8 or gay was due to your upbringing, I'd be the str8est man on the planet!
I was born to love the boys.

[BwayTheatre11]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 2:06pm

And he is not foolin'

[Plum]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 8:19pm

Not too long ago, people were beaten "out" of being left-handed, too. Crazy world.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 9:29pm

Flit-thanks for posting and I'm glad you agree with this thread. The fact is that I live in a town that still has racists and where the people that are gay (and there are) don't talk about it. People need to be educated, and that is all I am trying to do.

Posted: 10/16/04 at 9:44pm

Someone I know once said to me, "I never met a straight guy who would turn down a(n) [act of oral sex]."

To me that means that human sexuality is a spectrum of sensory feelings and emotions that can take hold for a moment or for a life time. Furthermore, these can present themselves at any point during the human experience.

The important thing to me, is, as E. M. Forster once wrote, "only connect."

To share a moment, or a lifetime. with another human being is a treasure to cherish, whether he or she is of the same or the opposite sex.

Updated On: 10/16/04 at 09:44 PM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 10/16/04 at 10:28pm

I didn't actually realize that I was gay until adulthood. I didn't even know what gay/lesbian was until late teens, at least. But when I finally did realize it, a lot of feelings I had had in the past made sense for the first time. So no, definitely not a choice for gays any more then it is for heteros.

robbiej, if people aborted their children because they were able to discover in the womb that they would be gay, it would be kin to those who abort now when they find out their fetuses have Down's syndrome - there are no words, really.

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 10/17/04 at 1:34am

Jose, that is SO true about men and oral sex. That's ALL I'm sayin.

[feinstein9]

Posted: 10/17/04 at 1:55am

i realized i was gay when i was 11. the story involves barbra streisand. it's been a long journey, trying to... accept something from myself that i was taught was wrong. it's confusing. but believe me, the internet is a big help in learning about yourself and other people who share your experiences. on the kinsey continuim, i'd say i'm maybe a 4 or so. it's hard to say, such a difficult thing to understand. some people perhaps are more able to accept themselves, but for me, it has been very hard. my mom found out when i was 16 by hacking into my email, and proceeded to yell and cry for about a week, and wanted to send me somewhere to get "fixed." but i told her no, and she hasn't said a word about it in three years. i think she thought it was a phase. the thing is- i don't want to dissapoint her, i don't want to upset her, i don't want to make my family sad- but i can't pretend that i don't feel what i feel. i tried that and it drove me crazy. i haven't had any actual physical experiences with someone of the same sex... yet. i suppose the selection in texas is quite limited. ah well, perhaps in a years time i will have a different story to tell...
life is a work in progress

Posted: 10/17/04 at 3:44am

Robbiej and Rath - have you seen the film Twilight of the Golds? It addresses the subject of pre-natal testing for homosexuality rather directly.

[robbiej]

Posted: 10/17/04 at 10:36am

I've actually never seen it. Just know of the play. Is it well done? I've heard mixed things.

Posted: 10/17/04 at 11:08am

Robbie - I'd say it's a well-intentioned piece that never really finds a way to get past its premise. Not nuanced at all, and the characters are rather two-dimensional - performing functions rather than coming to life. The cast is obviously trying, and do in fact bring some nobility to the piece simply by their good will, but they really can't rise above the script.

Still, even in its ham-handed way, it does raise some interesting questions that certainly very few are asking.

[AReinkingfan]

Posted: 10/17/04 at 8:59pm

Greetings Everyone!

I've been enjoying many of the posts to this thread and was wondering if there are many lesbians, (myself included), on this message board.

Lesbians seem to be the needles in the haystack in the Broadway world. (Unless I am just not in "the know".) The only lesbians I can think of, from the stage world, off the top of my head, are Cherry Jones and Lea DeLaria. (Do I dare mention Rosie ODonnell or Joan Jett?) Can anyone think of any others? I'm sure that you can! (:

ARF

[Bobby457]

Posted: 10/18/04 at 3:54pm

I knew when I was about 5....Robert Conrad, the Wild Wild West....growing up I HATED being....if there had been a pill to change I wouldnt not have hesitated in the least...and still feel that way sometimes. It just would have been easier.

I didnt come out to my mother till I was 36. The first thing she asked me was "What made me decide to go this way?"

[Matt_G]

Posted: 10/18/04 at 3:59pm

Did you say "It was the genes you passed down to me, Mama"

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 10/18/04 at 3:59pm

wow. My mother knew before I did. She encouraged me (and still does) to be whatever I wanted to be, whatever I COULD be in life.
I feel so bad for people who have conservative parents or parents who just don't want to understand and love them. I never had to go through any of that and I really feel for those that did.

[Bobby457]

Posted: 10/18/04 at 4:02pm

My Dad was gay and couldnt deal with and committed suicide....he deserted the family when I was 5 and died when I was 16. My mom never remarried and its SOOOOO bitter to this day. I think she has issues, but thats my gaydar going off.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 10/18/04 at 4:05pm

redhot - you are a very lucky man!

I have two close friends from growing up who had SUCH different experiences because of their families. One knew nothing but acceptance and love. One knew only disappointment and shame. The lessons in 'parenting' that I witnessed had such a profound effect on me.

Bobby - I'm sure you're not alone in feeling the way you did. I'm just glad that you have finally found love and acceptance!

Updated On: 10/18/04 at 04:05 PM

[Bobby457]

Posted: 10/18/04 at 4:07pm

well, growing up a redneck in white trash Arizona taught me how to survive thats for sure!