Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
#1Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 10:42am
If so, what do you do when your students ask if you are gay? I don't know how to handle this situation.
I know your response might depend on the age of the students. Right now, I'm with 9 and 10 graders.
#2Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 10:59amI don't see this as a gay question. Asking a teacher any question of a personal nature is inapporopriate and that's how I would answer the student.
#2Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:04am
^^What SOMMS said^^
I teach on the college level, in a design school, so the question rarely if ever comes up. But nonetheless, at any age it is an inappropriate question, and on the one occasion it was asked I simply told the student to concentrate on their own development, not mine. It worked.
#3Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:18amI'm a school social worker and 100% out at work. I think it's important for kids...especially kids who may be struggling with their sexuality...to have positive gay role models.
#4Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:22amAnd I think the "I won't answer personal questions" is a cop out. And to a kid it reads "yeah I'm gay but ashamed to tell you."
StockardFan
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/19/08
#5Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:28amDeet do you teach at FIT? I thought I saw you say something about that the other day. I used to teach high school Fashion Marketing and we would go there when we came to new york for our field trips.
#6Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:34am
To clarify: I feel that my personal life doesn't have to be an open book in order to be a positive role model to any of my students. Besides, I am out on campus and even Helen Keller would know that I'm gay.
And I still think that it is an inappropriate question from a grammar school student.
Stock, yes, I do. But I'm not in the Fashion Design Department. I have nothing to do with Fashion, except for the massive amounts I spend on acquiring and wearing it. 
#7Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:40am
But it is normal question for a grammar school student. They are always asking questions of their straight teachers...are you married? do you have kids? They are naturally curious about the adults in their lives.
No one questions it when asked of our straight colleagues.
#8Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:42amErik, you're making the assumption that the student is gay or questioning and not straight and using it for some other agenda. If a student asked you how many times you yank your wanker each day, would you answer? Personal is personal and inappropriate is inappropriate. By the way, I am an openly gay educator and totally agree with D2 that being a positive role model can and does happen naturally.
#9Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 11:44am
"If a student asks you how many times you yank your wanker each day would you answer?"
Apples and oranges.
I'm not assuming anything about the student asking the question. I give the same answer if I think the student is gay, straight or in between.
#10Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 12:00pm
I'm not an educator, and I certainly see it from both ends.
First of all, I think there is some confusion, the OP teaches 9th and 10th graders, not 9 and 10 year olds.
I completely agree with the point argued by Erik where avoiding the question just says "Yes, I'm gay, but I don't want to talk about it." The age group that the OP is speaking about would certainly come to that conclusion.
However, teachers in my High School who were rumored to be gay didn't get very fair treatment in the public eye of the student body. If your students have homophobic tendencies (which is common in high school) it could cause you distress.
winston89
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/18/06
#11Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 12:06pm
I remember when I was in high school one of my English teachers was gay. He didn't go and shout it from the mountain tops but it wasn't something that he kept a secret either. In fact he was very laid back about the whole thing. He directed the annual school play and his partner was a set designer/builder and would come and help build the sets. People knew who the teacher's partner was and no one made a fuss about it.
I still remember there was one classroom discussion that we were having where we were talking about stereotypes and he used himself as an example as to how he never in his life fit any so called "gay stereotypes." He joked about how he is a good ol' southern boy who loves hunting and fishing and doesn't know thing one about fashion yet he is gay. None of the students minded this however, it did piss off a parent who felt that the teacher's sexuality was not something that belonged in the classroom.
#12Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 12:14pm
For once, Winston hit on something entirely apropos: "it did piss off a parent who felt that the teacher's sexuality was not something that belonged in the classroom."
This can, and has, become a huge can of worms in many schools, grammar, high school and in some cases at the university level, and is something that unfortunately cannot be ignored in this discussion.
#13Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 12:14pm
I say to go ahead and answer them. I think, as a teacher in the high school level and above, it is perfectly fine to answer personal questions regarding age, marital status, kids, sexual orientation, where you graduated college from, what you wanted to be when you grew up, how you ended up teaching, what town/state you grew up in, etc. The very basics. Nothing too detailed.
And I think answering truthfully that you're gay would bring up a lot of questions and a lot of respect. I would certainly treat the students with a lot more respect in regards to "accepting" and "being OK" with your sexual orientation. Sure, there may be follow-up questions (ie "do you have a husband or partner or whatever?" etc.) and that is a PERFECT opportunity to introduce them to a gay education (ie "no, in this state, gays are not allowed to get married, etc.)
I **WOULD** however avoid any sort of discussion on religion. I wouldn't tell your students what religion you are. I wouldn't discuss the history of religion and sexual orientation. Just avoid religion and respond to those types of questions with something along the lines of "out of respect for all of our students who may be all different types of religion, we won't discuss that."
--Aristotle
#14Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 12:27pm
Is the school where you teach in New York City or rural Alabama?
For those who think that answer doesn't make a difference, you haven't gotten out much.
EDIT: I will rephrase this so I don't p*ss people off from either place ... Is your school in a big cosmopolitan city and/or liberal community, or is it in a small town and/or conservative, "bible belt" community?
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
#15Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 12:42pmWhat best12bars says is VERY true. Where I attended school in PA would have had no big issue with it. One of the schools I attended in NC would have a STRONG issue with it.
--Aristotle
#16Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 1:12pm
I'm wondering if the answers to this question equating gay identity with personal life are becoming outdated.
In the inexorable march toward marriage equality in this nation, we can no longer make the assertion that one's gay identity is 'personal life'. If we wish to be able to marry (which, in effect, is registering with the state in a very public fashion), can we really say WHO we marry is still personal information that no one has the right to know? Our marriages will now be part of the public record. Holding on to the idea that we can still regard our orientation as 'private' seems to be self-defeating, in a way.
#17Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 1:16pm
I teach gay.
My students are always top of the class.
"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS
#18Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 1:31pmI never asked my teachers about the personal lives at all, whether I thought they were straight or gay. None of my business as a student.
#19Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 1:36pmNormally, I would agree with RobbieJ, but in this case, I would first research local state laws regarding the right to fire workers based on sexual orientation, which is still a grim reality. If you can't afford to lose your job and live in a state where you're not protected, then I can understand the reluctance to come out to one of your students. I'd also take into consideration the motives of a teenage student who poses the question to an adult teacher and how the subject came up and was addressed. In the current social and political climate, I'd err on the side of caution rather than be faced with viral texting or Facebook posts that "Mr. So-and-So told me he's a faggot!" It may seem cowardly, but not everyone is financially or emotionally equipped to deal with a potential scandal, the likes of which could be blown up to national proportions when delivered by the wrong person to any media source.
#20Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 1:41pmThank you Mr. Matt for being much more elequent than I. I work in a state that has protections that enable me to be completely out. My situation would be very different if I still lived in North Carolina.
#21Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 2:00pm
My post was more a rumination on the current state of things in this country than really about teaching and being out. I agree that there many considerations to make before expressing anything about your personal life to students...no matter your orientation.
But this question, and the questions regarding Elena Kagan's orientation have had me thinking a lot lately about the concept of a 'private life' when it comes to sexual orientation. In a rapidly changing world that could see, in a generation or two, full marriage rights and (hopefully much quicker than that) the enactment of ENDA and the end of DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL, what role does the concept of 'private life' have to play in the discussion of sexual orientation. Does the simple question 'Are you gay?' constitute an invasion of one's private life? And, at some point, does being in the closet on any level become indefensible?
#22Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 2:01pmI just want to clarify that it pains me to say all that, but it would pain me even greater to encourage someone to do anything that would lead to irreparable harm for what should be an innocuous reply or conversation. Even if the student is genuinely looking for some support or guidance, who is to say how the parents might react if they discover the conversation took place? If you're protected by law, then I'd say question the motive first and then approach with caution. If not, then I'd just look puzzled and tell the student it sounds like a question for their guidance counselor to answer.
#23Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 2:07pm
Yup. Until ENDA is passed, you gotta judge your community/district to come up with your own answer to this question.
I had a teacher in grade school who was gay and quietly swept aside as a result of it because of a bogus molestation charge (I didn't out this had happened until years later). Of course, this was 19(??), but it wasn't THAT long ago.
#24Are there any gay teachers or educators on here?
Posted: 5/11/10 at 2:11pmThe times they are a changin' and hopefully in my lifetime I'll see a world like you imagine Robbiej. Perhaps because I was raised in the South, or because I'm of a certain age, I would not (and never did) ask a teacher a question about their personal life. It's just wasn't my business or the reason why I was in their classroom. I had much more fun imagining things about my teachers, rather than knowing their reality.
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